Would you support a law that makes adultery illegal?

Question

Countries where Infidelity is (or isn't) frowned upon (Reddit) In my country a spouse can face up to 5 years in prison for adultery. Now I don't think this is actually enforced, but the law is there. I wish it could be more enforced and not just on paper. One might say "No that's pity, I will just leave them and find someone else) but to me this isn't a valid-enough argument because the harms of infidelity goes beyond the individual-level, but impacts society as a whole. I actually support adultery law for multiple reasons: 1)  It causes mental and emotional harm to the people who get cheated on. It can even cause depression and extreme emotional distress. Possibly more. 2)  It puts the cheated-on spouse at risk of contracting an STD. This happened before. 3)  It destroys the family unit. The family unit is the backbone of society. Therefore infidelity also destroys societies. It breaks marriages, it desacralizes the marriage institution.

CallyKat89 · Accepted Answer

Well, in short no. I just don't see this law functioning in the modern westernized climate.
A law that enforces fidelity sounds great on paper, but I am concerned about how much control the government now has over your personal life. I dislike the idea of partners cheating on each other, but I don't think that a third-party legal entity should be able to slither in and throw you into the punitive justice system. To address the points you listed:
1) Mental and emotional harm could exist in both partners when they enter the relationship. The threat of one cheating could be used to exploit the other person in order to keep them close. The thought of the law jumping in to defend someone making this accusation could cause equal if not more emotional harm.
2) This seems like a bit of a stretch. I agree that there is a possibility for a cheating partner to bring back some unwanted goodies. However, is this a reason to allow restrictions of personal freedoms? How would you control for partners that enter a relationship with an STD and do not disclose it?
3) The family unit is under attack from more sides than just adultery. This law would not fix the decentralization of the family unit.
I agree that infidelity is bad, but again, I don't think that laws should be put in place to directly dictate how you should act in a private relationship.
Another thought, I don't think you could compare this law to those that protect people from being subjected to domestic violence. I think that is another stretch.
Just some questions I thought of:
This would make divorces and other marital disputes messy as well. What if a spouse is falsely accused? What if you make people fear marriage because of the potential repercussions you could face from one of these allegations?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes I do. Don't like it, don't get married

Dragonpurple · Accepted Answer

In my state it used to be illegal, not anymore. The problem was how to prove it, as both parties rarely would admit it. Even if your spouse went to a hotel room and met up with someone, no one knew exactly what was going on in there. To know what was going on, meant one party had to admit to it or have a secret camera recording stuff, thus invasion of privacy.

My ex cheated on me, so I get all the damage it does.

With Child support laws here in the states, it makes men even want to stay with a cheater to avoid that. That is huge damage, but in the states the backbone of the family unit has already been destroyed. Marriage is in decline, at the same time adultery is a grounds for divorce but it is hard to prove and even IF you prove it, it has no effect on the actual divorce or custody situation so it is often easier to file divorce as irreconcilable differences. I've seen women cheaters still get alimony and child support, custody of the kids when the husband/father finally had enough and filed for divorce.

If it was illegal I could see a lot of people abusing it by saying, they cheated trying to get them in jail so they could get custody, even if the cheating never happened.

Silver158 · Accepted Answer

yup, see far too much cheating going on these days. people don't care anymore and are selfish. Perhaps if there was a risk of substantial punishment then people might think twice.

razelove · Answer

In the US penalization for adultery isn't criminal, it's civil. That would be states that have "at fault" divorce. Also in the military you can get punished for adultery, cheating on your spouse, or cheating with someone else's spouse, besides that I've never heard of any criminal response to adultery.

As sexual relations between adults are civil, sure, people can sue each other over anything. Why not sue your spouse over cheating even if you aren't getting divorced? Freedom's all about silly stuff like that.

I would never support any law making anyone criminally liable for adultery though. Not just because of how ludicrous the idea is, but because of how much first reading this question I immediately thought of how terribly I could abuse it, or have this abused against me.

My wife and I regularly have sex with other women, is that adultery? Should she be punished, should I, should both of us and our children be put under care of the state because of what we do on rare occasions with a lot of planning?

Also it wouldn't surprise me what Minnesota makes illegal, that state is straight up weird. Anywho, pick anyone you don't like, go visit a model with a green screen, bam, they're cheating and need to be locked away! What a ridiculous idea.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

In the US, it is likely that such laws would be declared unconstitutional on the grounds of invasion of privacy. Such laws are rarely enforced and, while my home state and 16 other states do have laws making adultery a crime, that doesn't men that no one is committing adultery in Florida. Adultery is like alcohol; you can make it illegal but that just means that a significant part of the population will now be branded as criminals.

In the end, you cannot legislate morality and attempts to do so are, at best, an optical illusion.

loveslongnails · Answer

And here's why I don't support adultery laws.
As Agape said below - keep the government out of my business as much as possible. The thing is that marriage is legal contract in most of the world, so the government is already inserted and it would seem that this is precedence for extending their power. But it's not as simple as that because now it involves things like morality judgements, non-situational assumptions, and a lot of he said-she said situations. That's why you have the legal remedy of divorce, and that remedy should NOT include imprisonment for adultery. Why stop there? What about jail time for mental abuse or neglect? Or lack of sex?

1) It causes mental and emotional harm to the people who get cheated on. It can even cause depression and extreme emotional distress. Possibly more.
** "Life" itself can cause all of those things as well. You deal with it.

2) It puts the cheated-on spouse at risk of contracting an STD. This happened before.
** Are you SURE you want to open that can of worms?

3) It destroys the family unit. The family unit is the backbone of society. Therefore infidelity also destroys societies. It breaks marriages, it desacralizes the marriage institution.
** And what if the offended party chooses to stay married and the offender never strays again? Is the marriage destroyed? Is the family broken if the kids are too young to know what happened? How would you like to explain why daddy or mommy is in jail, lost their job, and their friends from school won't talk to them anymore?

We've got more than enough people incarcerated already. We don't need more in prison, especially at the current rate of extramarital affairs. What is needed is a better understanding of marriage for the parties entering into it.

Old_Golden · Answer

This is similar to giving parents jail time for their kids being truant. Jailing or fining the parent/s is supposed to cut down on kids missing school how? Making adultery illegal is going to cut down on cheating and "destroyed family units" how? There's so much to unpack here. I'll leave it at 1) no matter what is decided as socially acceptable it is an average. There will always be people on either side of that bell curve who disagree to various extents. 2) look at human history and tell me what a "family unit" is. We descended from apes (sweeping generalization) who may have been a matriarchal society like elephants where the males roam alone most of the time unless mating. Or a society like many apes where the family group consists of multiple males and females but one male predominantly breeds. Who knows? We've undoubtedly tried it every way, so who's to say "this is the way" and force their thinking down everyone else's throat? So no, I wouldn't support that law. If you and your partner (s) can't have open, honest discussions about this kind of thing why do you trust them to sleep next to you?

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

As much as I hate adultery, and people that cheat, ... No I would not support that law. For these reasons:
1-I think it would be too hard to enforce that law.
2-as much as adultery has a negative affect on the family unit, what do you think would happen to that family unit if one or the other parent is in jail. The child/children would suffer the most, both emotionally knowing their parent is in jail and also that takes away the financial support for that child who needs that parent to provide for them.
3. That would not stop people from cheating.. People break the law all the time. It would just cause more problems then actually being a solution...

likelyOK · Answer

It’s going to be hard to prove, we can barely get prosecution for rape based on the he said she said aspect so how would he prove it unless there was video which leads me to a whole Pandora’s box of problems with this idea. Would it then be legal to tape your spouse and have them followed.

Either way it has no business in criminal court, civil court maybe, but NEVER CRIMINAL. If a person contracts an std inside a marriage from a partner if you can prove then I would be okay with slight criminal charge but in that case it seems it would apply to not only marriage but any exclusive agreement such as a relationship. I really feel it can ruin someone’s life if your partner were to give you some kind of incurable disease.

FakeName123 · Answer

Depends on what you consider adultery and what kind of laws for what consider a relationship and marriage exist.

Let's assume we say marriage is a relationship contract - which it should be legally speaking minus all the other connotations of marriage - then adultery would obviously be a breaking of such a contract. Except both parties implemented a clause that polygamy is accepted.

What I am trying to say: There is no easy answer to this and it all depends on the legal definitions of what constitutes a relationship and/or marriage.

That being said - being an asshole can't be illegal. As much as we sometimes wish it was, it is simply not feasible, if you want a free country.

Not_Average · Answer

As much as I hate cheaters, I’m a libertarian and don’t believe the government should possess authoritative power over the decisions made in someone’s marriage. How do we define cheating? Could it punishable over emotional cheating? Who defines that and what political or ulterior motives could arise in that position of power. Maybe radical feminism arises within our culture, and they have an agenda. Maybe radical misogyny in the reverse. You can avoid cheaters by having better judgement and society will naturally shame those who commit adultery. If you cheat, society sees you as a shit quality human being who cannot be trusted. Therefore people tend to not cheat. Society regulates itself. I don’t need the government protecting my emotional well being. I can handle myself.

TheLawAroundHere · Answer

I woukd absolutely suppkrt a constitutional ammendment that outlawed infidelity. And yes. I was on the bad end of a "fucking around" situation.

It makes no sense to me why someone can't wait until one legal relationship is over before they start another one. This would not be limited to physical contact. Once someone begins to be that friend thats just too familiar, the line is crossed.

In this world (thatll never happen), divorce is 100% free. But if it is without warrant, the filing party walks away with the clothes on their back.

AD240pCharlie · Answer

No. Even as someone who has been cheated on, I'm too much of a libertarian to support a law like this.
Not everything that is immoral has to be made illegal. That is why there are such insanely strong social repercussions for infidelity. Since things like rape, abuse and so on are illegal but cheating is not, we have to create a cultural attitude that makes a cheater a social outsider in order to keep a sense of "moral justice" within our society.
Cheating is wrong, but it should NOT be illegal just because of that.

kingofthellamas · Answer

I think this law is pretty silly for three reasons.
Firstly, that tension in a relationship, the fear your partner might leave, is what keeps people attentive and loving. If your partner knows you legally can't play around they might end up treating you like shit.
Secondly, relationships are complex. Some will be happy with extra marital arrangements. These people would be guilty of a crime, regardless of if they happy with the arrangement. That seems a bit tough.
Finally, people would be disincentivized to get married, like you need even more reasons not to

Alyssa11 · Answer

Adultery is disgusting. Of course I support it. The law is supposed to regulate society and making adultery illegal won't eradicate it but it will send off the right message.

Anonymous · Answer

To some extent, yes.
(1) It depends on how "adultery" is defined.
(2) Should be an equal law for both spouses -- in some countries, only the husband can be charged with adultery. The woman cannot. Her paramour can -- treating his action as a deprival of access of the man (the cuckolded guy) to his wife!
(3) There should be rights AND RESPONSIBILITIES within a marriage. Often, once married, women (mostly, but a few males too) forget their commitment to undertake the very reason for which the marriage exists: sex. They expect their partners to live within sexless (defined as having sex once a month or less) marriages. This is most unfair.
(4) The burdens of a divorce should be more or less equal on both sides. As of now, a male pays heavily for a divorce, even if most divorces tend to be initiated by women.
(5) Deprival of sex within a marriage should also be considered as cheating, and given some crude-sounding name like ADULTERY.

Anonymous · Answer

The prisons are already full all over the world banning more things won't solve that not to mention imagine talking to your cell mate and he/she goes "what are you in for?" And your answer is "I cheated on my spouse" you'll be their bitch within the hour.

What you can do is toughen up the penalty for adultery as in instant divorce no custody any rights to shared property are null and void that would cripple a person and would make people think twice about cheating.

And yes I understand that certain relationships don't work and people might sympathize with adultery given a certain context but in a world where you are free to ask for a divorce wherever you like no one is forcing you to stay and cheating not a valid solution

Aethereal · Answer

Yes I would. I think such a law (if enforced) would make society a bit better for everyone. If we don't have a law, at the very least, infidelity should have an established consequence that always legally favours the partner cheated on regardless of the cheater's situation i. e. No alimony, no forced parenthood/child support for children of the affair, etc.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I believe adultery should be punished with jail sentences if an STD is transmitted and lost custody or income support or reduced dividends In a divorce payout. I know a guy who cheated on his wife and during the divorce, she got 100% of their property and almost all their joint income even though she did not work full time for most of her marriage while he made over 600K a year. The only thing he kept in the divorce was his job and his pension.

90sVibe · Answer

As for the U. S. A. No, absolutely not because the government doesn't have any business being involved with the managing the morality of the land. It's a personal issue that should have societal consequences from peers not a law maker. It doesn't infringe upon the constitutional rights of another person so therefore there should be no law limiting a person's free will in ththaththat area.

Nosferatu_Viper · Answer

It depends. What punishment would it consist of?
Death? 100 whip lashes? Nah. I wouldn't support that.
But some penalty for cheating should exist I think. Like you wrote, you put the partner in extreme distress.
I was cheated on in my first two relationships. It made me into an "incel". I hated women for many years even tho I continued dating, cheating on them and treating them like trash.
Even tho, before the cheating happened, I was very romantic and caring. I would surprise my partner with bathtub of roses, red wine, incense and stuff like that. Pay for 3 days spa with hotel etc etc (zodiac cancer sign lol)..

Whatever2929292 · Answer

Most people think that it is wrong. Most people thin that should be stopped... But when they find there are laws on it don't think you should be arrested.

If the law was to be enforced more often this would solve a LOT of problems with marriages and if couples in these states would file reports and take it up with local law enforcement and the DA when their spouse is cheating.

When this gets enforced and people go to prison. It will send a message

AGirl_x · Answer

Why do I have the feeling I'm going back in time a lot when I'm on GAG?
Who would marry if there is the possibility of FUCKIN 5 YEARS OF JAIL if things don't go bad? Boys, men ... would you marry if there was a law that would be enforced and... you go to prison if you happen to, for whatever reasons, have sex with someone else?
That's insane !

PaynefulPleasures · Answer

You can be arrested & charged with adultery in the state of Mississippi, I love this state for so many reasons ❣️

RagnarRedbeard · Answer

I don't think it's practical, especially if they have children. It should factor into divorce settlements though if it leads to that. If the man cheats for example he should have to offer more, or if the woman cheats she should get a lot less if anything at all.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Nope, it should not be illegal anywhere.

no country has a right to say.

I wonder how many of the Non American countries where it is illegal also have arranged marriages and the baggage of honour killings as well.

we have moved away from the 6th Century,

it should be made easier globally to divorce and without the need for proof.

if you don’t like each other etc, then make it a simple bloody process.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

I would not. That would be unconstitutional.

@OlderAndWiser the judge I clerked for actually explained to me why some states still have laws criminalizing adultery even though they would never pass constitutional muster.

Anonymous · Answer

That would never work in America. In America, crossing the border illegally, is not only legal, you will be treated better than the legal citizens.

Governor Cuomo appointed a cop killer, to be on the commitee to help reform policing in New York. The piece of shit shot an off-duty cop, execution style, so now he is being rewarded by Cuomo.

So if Dems don't even give a shit about murder, I'm sure they won't give a shit about adultery.

Unit1 · Answer

None of the governments fucking business. They already read our e-mails, access our SMS, see our purchasing history and track our phones and location with radiowaves. They control too much and leave us with too little.

Imagine being imprisoned for eating chocolate.

EssenceOfLight · Answer

Not illegal, but spouses who betray people they married shouldn't benefit from alimony laws and property sharing after divorce. In lot of countries there is still a difference between divorce with mutual consent and forced divorce due adultery, despite adultery isn't illegal by law. I think it's a good compromise.

_乃尺OЩ刀_TITI · Answer

No!! In my country adultery is illegal, not only that but if you catch your spouse in the act of having sex and you kill your spouse out of anger then it's a valid reason not to go to prison.

To me, personal relationships problems like cheating (unless abuse, murder etc then obviously criminal or civil law should be act) shouldn't be something government should bother with. There's enough shit already the slow inefficient justice system should focus on.

Anonymous · Answer

well technically marriage is a legally binding contract. But that doesn't stop abuse between spouses and one might walk out if they feel like the other is not keeping up their end of the relationship and is afraid of going to custody court or having to pay massive alimony.

JuneLady · Answer

Yes. It should absolutely be illegal. Your point number 3 is the most pivotal by far, but adultery should certainly be illegal.

darkcloud1945 · Answer

most of those laws are enforced against women not men and even enforced against men it is usually charged as a minor offence. But even more so you can not legislate morality you can try but most of it happens behind closed doors and rarely brought to light.

kaylaS91 · Answer

No.
Getting the government involved in such personal matters (especially where it’s incredible difficult to provide material proof vs. relying on non biased observations/assumptions) is a breeding ground for one gender getting exploited to no end.

Qdbrown · Answer

People are coming at this in a place of equality. How would you proce it? Would men need physical proof, and women word of mouth? That's a double standard that all ready exists in the courts, as women don't lie.

Avicenna · Answer

Criminalizing adultery would damage the family unit even more than the cheating itself (which is damaging enough).

kapkiki · Answer

hmm, not really? i think in some ways, adultery is already factored into the law (for purposes of divorce, child support, custody, etc) and i think to that extent it's maybe enough?

boggboss · Answer

Nope I don't belive government should have that kind of control over relationships themselves plus it will just become another crime of he said she said so no I wouldn't support that

FilmGuy93 · Answer

As damaging, senseless and shitty behavior as adultery is; no, I don't support making it illegal. You should forfeit all your rights to marital assets as a result, but it shouldn't be illegal.

slatyb · Answer

Hell no. How would you enforce it? Eavesdropping on bedrooms? We've been there and it was horrible.

John_Galt · Answer

It’s none of the governments business what adults do in private. The government should not even be involved in marriage... it’s none of the governments business or societies business.

convo_king89 · Answer

Who people fuck isn't the government's business unless its below the age of consent. Even the age difference isn't the governments business. if the age of consent is 16 an she wants to fuck 30 year old, go for it

Agape93 · Answer

Nope. It’s not the governments place to intervene in a private affair, literally or figuratively.

Uannoyme · Answer

As much as I hate a cheater, I have to say no. The government has no place in personal matters.

Dargil · Answer

I do not, although it morally wrong. My reason is simple. Our (US) government is deeply corrupt and I do not want government to have any more power. That outweighs the moral aspect.

JustJen · Answer

Absolutely not. It’s a private matter, and none of the government’s business. We need less governmental interference, not more.

R3DthatDude · Answer

No. If you allow the government to much policing over you then they will start to abuse it.

cth96190 · Answer

No! Keep the government out of the bedroom. Leave that sort of thinking to the loons in the Islamic umma.

Barry88 · Answer

No. Adult people can decide for themselves. The government should not interfere in the sexual life of consenting adults.

MrTaboo · Answer

Yes. Maybe people would take marriage much more seriously.

exitseven · Answer

No- the government sticks it's nose in my business too much as it is.

BCA6010 · Answer

I've never actually known anybody in the US to face prison time for adultery.

Wowie101 · Answer

The government has no right to get affair with personal matters

RingOfFire · Answer

Absolutely not. What relationships consenting adults choose to have is none of the government's business.

Guanfei · Answer

That's a personal matter, as despicable as it is. But I'd be in favor to make adultery an automatically losing circumstance in a divorce. You cheat, all you get is your own luggage.

DrunkenMaster · Answer

It's a stupid law here's why.  A spouse cheats, gets 2 years in prison. Now who's gonna take care of the bills and the child's finances when one parent is locked up?

blondfrog · Answer

Some states support this already like Massachusetts. The problem with these laws in the u. s. is that it only pertains towards marriage and its not really reinforced.

Anonymous · Answer

Lol how some male used up cunts are against women cheaters but ok with male cheaters "since it is a man's need". I think the state should lock these male cunts up or we should punish them with death

John_Doesnt · Answer

No it shouldn't be against the law because it is a family dispute not a legal dispute. Hurting someone's feelings is never against the law.

collie22 · Answer

what ever the law is i'll go along with it , this question i always want to try and do the right things

Myk13 · Answer

No, it’s a decision that needs to be made by the person doing it. The government already makes more than enough of our decisions for us.

tartaarsaus · Answer

Nope. If someone wants to commit adultery, it’s something between those adults and none of the business of the government

Would you support a law that makes adultery illegal?

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