"Dating for girls is like shopping. Dating for guys is like a job interview". Agree or Disagree? (Page 2)
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Dating isn't like a job interview or shopping for either, in most cases it ends up being a no thought involved mistake for most people, but should be like looking for a best friend.
Now if we are to go by online dating, its supposed to be like shopping for a best friend via an interview for both genders when serious, but most people on there are just looking for hump n dumps.
Also I don't agree that women have choice and men have to compete to apply, it's really hard to have that view when most women aren't worth it to me and I have to deal with the whole finding a needle in a haystack thing, where the needle in question is the unnoticed nerd who is at home glued to a screen playing dark souls, soulcalibur, etc, while being more or less a hermit for any other activity.
basically im picky and want someone almost no one else seems to want
Hmmm as a girl sure there’s a lot of options but that doesn’t just mean every single one is the actual one, so does it really matter if you have options if it’s still just as hard to find your person?
Plenty of guys are assholes yes, pretty easy to tell the difference.
I agree with you laPrinces
Imagine having options compared to none at all
@Chthou95
Guys have options too. They just don't see them. Or they see them but refuse to date them because she is "below him."
@Cathy7734 yes but options aren’t always options. Should I settle for a fat woman with an amazing personality? Fat either means she’s unhealthy or sick. I don’t expect a 10 but she should care about her looks or I guess it’s the same for me. I got about 10 more lbs then I want and I’ve always got the dad bod. The fact I make 80k/ year I’m kind generous and intelligent don’t matter because I’m short and 10-20 lbs heavier then I “should be”.
It's not just as hard you delusional female. You don't even look good. You wouldn't have any chance if you were male.
Ignore the pissant he’s just causing trouble giving all men a bad name. Not even an argument just name calling fool.
@Susjsm don’t be spiteful and if I was a guy I’d probably look like my player ass daddy and he’s also good looking and tall and built soooo genes are perfect either ways luv, it’s hard for you because you have a stank personality and you’re hiding behind no profile picture for a reason
@VanillaSalt he’s def just an ass
@GoldenTulip right right? And @Chthou95 and what difference does it make if not everyone is gonna b right
Indeed! It is hard to find a good man. For real
@goldentulip incorrect. It’s hard finding a good man that meets your standards of attraction and that checks all the boxes...
Let’s not pretend there’s not amazing men out there that no woman wants because their short or ugly...
I personally thing dating should be 100% blind for a few dates arranged by friends then after you know them and decide I like their personality and values you meet up and start making things physical.
@VanillaSalt you just said earlier you don’t want ugly or fat women so who exactly is the “blind date” supposed to be for? Pretty women having to date ugly men who think there too good for their range of women? Hmm sounds shallow af to me.
Ima be nice when I say this... you women are shallow af. Proof? Make a dating profile with an amazing bio but poor pictures for a man on tinder and see how many dates you manage.
at least I’ve dated the fat and ugly ones before. I’ve given women a chance to show what they bring to the table. That’s more than I for instance ever get.
Take looks out of the picture and make it about what the individuals bring. Let personality build you a picture of what your chasing. Then you can decide if you wanna overlook their shortness, looks, body language or if their brand of ugly just isn’t worth what they bring. Because let’s be frank. You women are upset the good quality men are nowhere to be seen and yet I have many quality’s the top men have. I’m just short and not considered cute.
I wonder if you’d act the same way about dating if you were fat and ugly. What do you think I’m curious.
@Cathy7734 Imagine not having nearly enough options as women do. And i mean guys are always called desperate for not having any standards so how can men mark off women they think are below them if men are okay with anything that comes their way?
@VanillaSalt I'll say this they can be shallow and picky as much as they want. That isn't a crime however i don't want to hear how men are more picky or shallow when dating apps show otherwise
I think the point of that saying (shop vs. Interview) is that generally, women make the choice. They have options from which the choose the best match. Men have to prove that they are the best option. This comes from the fact that traditionally men chase and women decide who gets to catch them.
yes, but I'd like to add it can also be like shopping and the garment looking good in store lighting and ill fitting not suited for you when you try it on at home
Ok? idvidcusvid
you go to job interview with 50/50 chances
But dating... you go knowing all odds are against you and when she turns you down, your mind is like..” i told you muff... when will you ever listen...😔
Or when she agrees..” its like, is jesus coming back tomorrow... is this a scam.. 😂
That applies to men who have no confidence and no standards. They act like they have no autonomy, no ability to do any proper vetting because they are too insecure to see their own worth. Too immature to realize that BOTH people need to choose wisely and learn how to enjoy the process of doing so. Balancing the energy of trying while navigating discernment.
Not if you view it as a 2-way interview. She's applying for the job just as much as you are.
Highly disagree.
But there's a case to be made it's true for the sex component, but reverse for the relationship component.
I've never felt like I was selling myself for a relationship. I've felt like girls sold themselves to me to be my girlfriend or something more serious many a time, or it was at least they ask and I'm already on board
When it comes to dating yes, this is true. And I say this as a feminist. It is not hard to ignore that overall men are the ones usually approaching others first even in this age. Some studies even point that there are about 7 guys for every one girl (or something like that). But when it comes to sex, most guys tend to treat it like shopping- all it takes is ordering a call girl, going to a bar/club, or whatever other place that men and women are looking for hook ups.
Dating for men is like a job interview, sex for men is like shopping... makes sense why many men would prefer one night stands then.
Everyone with value and confidence treats hookups like shopping, men and women. The question was specific about dating. Also, is there something wrong with men treating sex like shopping? If not, then why point it out?
@devilman666 Yeah I think anyone who treats anybody like they are going shopping, whether its super casual or not is terrible. Also come to think of it, I was wrong in stating this was the case about men finding dating to be like a job interview. That's a very bleak, black and white thing to say and there is more to it than just gender. For instance- some women who are less than what most consider "average" (in other words, ugly), often find dating to be incredibly depressing and call it a job. And there are men graced with looks and money to match that treat dating like shopping because they have so many options to choose from. There are also many people who don't begin to date until they are in their 30s (for various reasons) so to be so fixated on dating being like interviews probably means you are aren't with the right people for you.
@devilman666 Also, if you or any one prefers one night stands to actually dating, that probably means you value instant gratification over putting in work for a much more long term satisfaction. That you would rather have it all or nothing-by that meaning, you would rather not risk gettin rejected or (what everyone labels as such a bad thing) "friendzoned", or nothing. People are headaches, I get that, but you can't expect to land on a good partner if you aren't even willing to risk getting hurt. Even I as a female, have faced a lot of rejection myself, whether it was right away or not.
A guy I texted with that i met online at one point told me he felt like he is in the job interview... so i guess for me it was the opposite.
I think its actually reversed, men are the ones treating it like shopping (more about looks of a woman) and girls are more into really getting to know the guys (mora like a job interview)
but this is total generalization, both genders do look for both
You understand The fact that you want to no more than the man does. Only proves his point in terms of job interview? Women are judging off far more criteria than a man, therefore a man has more tests to pass
@cjmtherfcker i dont understand what are you talking about. I literally said that for men dsting is more like going on a job interview
Apologies then. i must have misunderstood you. "I think its actually reversed, men are the ones treating it like shopping (more about looks of a woman)" i think it was this bit that through me off
@cjmtherfcker yeah i realized its actually the problem in understanding the quote. As it seems women like to shop so they shop for men - shopping annalogy, and by that logic for guys than it would be that they ask women things like they are on a job interview which i guess it wasn't what it was meant by the quote so that is my mistake. However I dont think dating is like shopping for women, giving job interviews and getting to hire the best person is very hard too; in my opinion men more act like they are shopping as looks are what they are into the most (but as i said this is generalization)
Your generalization is correct about looks though. Nothing wrong with the truth.
I never really perceived the shopping analogy that way until you said it. Kinda got a rude sexist spice on it.
I always took the shopping analogy as women get to choose from different options.
The question really is, who has it easier in dating? To answer that question we must ask another question... who has higher standards? The answer is obviously women, and the reason is because they can afford to. The pursuer always has it tougher than the pursued.
Sounds like it should be included in some male's stand-up routine.
As a serious social commentary? No.
I think they have similarities to job interviews, sort of (though I'd much rather go on a date.) I asked a q about this once:
Would you rather go on a date, or a job interview?
I swear when I went on dates I always felt like I’m preforming a job interview lmao... the success rate is just as high... most people are soo disappointing so yaa. I always ended “not hiring” the dude lol
Are they disappointing because they lied about their age, height, weight, circumstances, etc?
What are you looking for in an interviewee?
I don’t care if they lie about those too much yes its suspicious but if you soon find out about real info its alright.. biggest problem is their personality.. they tend to be mainly fboys, mentally ill, weirdos, not hygienic, pervs, boring dudes, no
bonton.. sometimes I wonder who raised those.
@RingOfFire
Well I look for a honest, fun and full of humour guy who knows what he wants. Is confident, and isn’t just after sex but actually looks for long term. Someone I have lots of things in common, and see myself in future totally... lol
You need a sparkle alsoo!!’ Very important!! i like a gentleman.. lol it’s hot 🌹
That's not too much to ask for, but apparently hard to find.
Also I don’t want him to be a flirt and not trustworthy, I want a guy who also is smart to some degree at least on average basis. I don’f want a stupid guy, it’s a turn off. Also don’t want a smoker since I am not one. Want a guy whos mature, and caring loving who gives me the warm feeling of feeling like home.. 😍
Yeah very hard to find... I’m still on the hunt tbh :( haha
You're not alone. Seems many women are in the same boat.
"Want a guy whos mature, and caring loving who gives me the warm feeling of feeling like home.."
This one is very well stated. Deep.
I bet you guys too. I’m not gonna say women are saints.. some are good but many are very shallow just like most of men. Its time where its so hard to find decent people lol
Yeahh what do you look for?
I think you described what I am looking for very well. I want the female version.
Can you tell me why is it so hard to find someone so decent. Our expectations are not even high!!!
Because she has to be from Slovenia!
I agree. A hot women can get almost any man she wants. But there are plenty attractive men who can't find sex or partners. Even average or ugly women can get laid and date fairly easily. But ugly or average guys have a much tougher time dating than average or ugly women. Also women are judged for their height much less than women.
If someone is looking for genuine connection irrespective of the gender, it is challenging to find that. If someone is looking for short term or just sexual pleasure then it is more easy to find.
There are other things that have an impact on the above like - looks, conversation skills, confidence etc
I have a really hard time finding men who are into me. It's definitely not as easy for women to get a date when they're average looking at best.
i fel you 😢
You have a hard time find men that are into you, while men have a hard time finding women. That’s the difference
Well women are definitely more picky. But they both could be like shopping.
Because men aren't choosy at all, they shop. Women really have a wide selection of options so in a sense they can go window shopping to find the best deal.
"You've got to work for love..."
https://www.youtube.com/embed/nam4UUTDPRwHey!
You said you needed full time help, 'cause you're all alone,
I said I'd work for nothing at all, If I just could take you home!
And now you're taking applications - For your love,
You wanted certain specifications, I circled the one that said all the above!
Work! For love... (2x)
Finally got my resume, and you said you'd review it some other day!
I said, '"Girl, hey, do it if you dare - Where I'd like to not go on love Welfare!"
Finally my letter arrived, and I knew you would be mine!
Instead I had to prove my worth, for the first two weeks work overtime!
Work! For love... (2x)
Work! (echoing) (3x)
Hey!
You've got to work... (2x)
You've got to work for... (4x)
You've got to work for love... (repeat over and over and fade)
Either gender, if shallow, can treat it like shopping.
Perhaps like shopping for a dream job, house and life insurance.
None of those simifications can ever get anything right.
Have you ever read any poetry, philisophy?
Or just the Cosmopolitan magazine?
Or not even that much?
For women it’s like going to the impulse section right as you enter Target; for men it’s like trying to win a presidency without having the money to run a national campaign.
So sure it’s kind of like a job interview, but not really.
It's not like that for every girl. I've been with guys where I had to do ALL THE WORK and it was so exhausting. So I def empathize for guts that go through it. I've also seen guys who never struggled with dating
Dating for girls is like window shopping and dating for men is like digging through a dumpster.
Girls try lots of expensive nice things but can't actually afford to buy one.
Men are looking for a $3000 tailored suit at walmart.