but too many men focus on dating aps or sites instead of trying to meet people in person , i realise some are busy with work and don't have the time to physically do that. but still how far can you expect to take things if you've never seen them inperson and just 1 of a 100 random guys who happened to view/message them that week. unless some of these single men get better at meeting women in person in real life again i agree its going to be a long drought for them
He's using dating apps as his source. It's obvious that he's over-sampling inactive accounts to get a desired result. How many guys you think get on an app see "$9.99 a month" or nothing spam bots asking for money before he either closes the account or doesn't ever use it anymore.
I’m not out of options. “None of the above” is always an option. Married men at my age who are genuinely happy in their marriages are a rarity. Many are jealous of my status.
That article seems to take a femaleocentric view of the world which assumes men are miserable without women. It is often women making men miserable.
since there's an equal ammount of women, there's an equal ammount of single ladies. i mean logically in a monogamous society, you can't end up with more men than women that are single. so what needs to happen is that women have to get off their high horse and adjust their standard that they've been cranking way up above eleven.
i'm not saying that anyone should get a partner "higher in quality" than themself. guys are usually realistic. like they know their worth. like someone who works at some assembly line knows they're not the same value as some phd education ceo level guy. however with women that same value system is out the window. even the most deadbeat lazy bitch thnik she can have the top level men just cause they have tits and a vagina. i'm not over generalizing. there's luckily some exceptions. but like go on youtube or whereever they ask women what they'd rate themself. even the most ugly, low accomplishment chick estimates herself to be a 10. you won't find that in men. they have humility. they know they're like a 5. that's the sort of adjustment that i think needs to take placem. women need to learn to estimate their worth correctly. which i know is difficult in a sopciety that basically tells women to fuck men and having children and instead have a career, which for men and in the dating world is really not the deciding factor.
@MzAsh What makes the average woman believe she is worthy of a man who is a 9 or 10? Or even a 4 or 5 that makes $200,000+ a year? This is an American phenomenon. And if it continues, it is going to become dangerous for women. Women don't get to choose if they have sex with men. If they insist they do, they will go down a road that leads to a bad place.
@U4ea0 well in germany, france, denmark, netherlands and spain, this is a thing for sure too. eastern Europe naturally laggs behind in these developments but i'm sure it will arrive there too just like the mediterranean.
the female ego was never so overinflated. tinder, instagram and liberal media that made basically every sort of negative evaluation of a woman "politically incorrect" but it's the men who need to adjust their standards? like i'm not even saying it's womens fault. but like i'm a slightly above average dude. i got a masters degree, a decent job, i'm slender and muscular. and you know what's the only sort of woman who responds to me on tinder? morbidly obese single moms. so from my point of view, women have to adjust their standards, not men.
yes. in fact there's one of them in my friends circle who divorced her husband recently and first thing she does is trying to seduce me xD it's like i'm a magnet for that type of woman. I don't know why.
there's that other girl that i think is hot. not like out of this world but somewhat on my level hot. actually talked to her and she says i'm a 9/10 in her opinionand she herself considers herself an 8/10. still she didn't end up being intrested in me for some reason that she couldn't explain to me.
it's not like i can change the expectations of women. also "i" am not the topic of this question. i'm not one piece of annekdotal evidence, that is in fact not at all evidence on a societal scale. so if even high value men tend to be fine with even mid to low value women, then where does the problem in your question come from? i mean you said "men want women that don't want them". why do those women not want them? because from the former claim about men (being ok with average to low quality) it logically follows that it really can't come from unrealistic male expectations right?
should you bend yourself in order to please others or should you find someone who likes you for who you are? that answers that question. now back to the main question that we're working at. what do you estimate the reason is if male choice seems to be quite forgiving interms of choice for value in a partner?
Men are born to pursue and compete for women in order to provide for them. But now that women no longer need men as much for basic survival since most working and earning money, women are now looking for life partnership in men, but I think many men lack understanding of what that looks like.
why is it then that women always want "traditional gentelman men" wherever they find it romantic but everywhere they don't like masculinity, they call it "toxic"? like why is it still a standard that men pay on a date, if women are earning the same type of money for themself?
and why do women complain about catcalling and call all men who approach sex offenders and then at the same time complain that men don't approach anymore?
There are men who are willing to pay who still remain gentlemanly and know how to approach a woman respectfully. It’s a reasonable ask. Though, I do encourage women to keep a close critical eye on men who pay and start acting like she owes him sex at the end of the date. Personally, I’d much rather go 50/50 and remove all chances of him trying to act entitled. But then again, I know how to find men who don’t do that.
you can't respect women as equal and at the same time pay for their dinner at a date making them "not equal". that's the major contradiction that women jsut don't see. they only ever want the best of all worlds and never accept disadvantages that come with a thing they themself wanted. as you see in emancipation. women can do every job now. yet there's no conscription for women.
women are entiteled to be repsected evenw ithout doing anythign for it. meanwhile a man is never respected. either they have their own opinion which makes them an asshole or they are politcially correct and only support opinions that women want them to support but then they are a whimpy loser xD can't win as a man in this society.
There are men willing to pay and still respect women as equals in society. Good men *want* to please women, and if he pursued the right woman and did so properly, he will be rewarded for that.
yeah you can do nice things. but you can't expected to be paid for as if your time is worth more, if you wanna be equal. that's what i'm saying. it's like there's so many standards for men and so many things that men should or should not be or do. what's there a woman has to bring to the table?
women and men are different. i agree. and it's stupid to want "equality" if the genders are different :D but yeah. i feel like there's such a big discussion about what men should and should not do to be an attractive mate to women. and there's litterally no standards women have to live up to except for maybe "not being fat", even though you're not alowed to even say that.
I think a lot of that is up to men though isn’t it. However many men just want to get laid so bad that they’ll take whatever they can get. But by then their quality is shot to shit and therefor unqualified for a long term relationship.
so is there anything at all that women should change about themself? or is it just men that need to change everything about themself to somehow magically fullfill the contradicting desires of women?
I think there are plenty of things that women would be wise to change, in general. Most men lack firm boundaries and they lack proper vetting of men for long term relationships. Unfortunately many women think that the 6ft 6 quarterback is their future husband when realistically he’s not going to be a good husband.
If they’re looking for happy, long term relationships, they’ll need to look for intelligent, emotionally stable men with easygoing, cooperative, personalities, who loyal, generous and respectful.
Unfortunately many women think that the 6ft 6 quarterback is their future husband when realistically he’s not going to be a good husband. that was exactly my point when i talked about my personal experience. that was when you told me basically i have to change.
wow. is that what you set up the "i'm a coach" thing up for? so that you can use the authority i associate with a coach to tell me i have paranoia and suffer from projection? you really must think i'm dumb xD
You brought up your inability to attract women besides obese single moms. I wanted to understand and to help you understand why that is and what could be done to improve your outcomes. Not only would you not answer my questions directly, you began accusing me.
ok. so if you actually are a coach, i am sure you understand that you can not just randomly coach whoever you want. you must know that you gotta establish a cliant-coach relationship first, in which the cliant consents to being coached, as you can't coach someone who doesn't want to be coached. and i hoped i made it clear that i am not comfrotable with that when i tried to steer ayway from "myself" as a topic back to the qeustion at hand. because neither do i know you, nor do i trust you being that you're just a randomperson on the internet. so if you had noble intentions, thanks but you gotta ask people if they wanna be coached before you just coach them. you understand why you have to do that?
I’m not actually coaching you because you’re not paying me and we haven’t signed an agreement. You were the one that brought up your situation complaining about not being able to attract decent women. If you don’t want to explore that further, you have every right to refrain from responding to me. I’m not holding a gun to your head.
still kind of weird to just randomly tell someone that they're suffering from extreme paranoia and projection. definitely not a thing that makes people respond in friendly ways, so i'm still left to wonder what your intention was with that.
no you didn't tell me that. you implied that with your question and because you didn't litterally say it, you're now bullying me by claiming innosence on your part and adding the insult of "paranoia" on top to sugar coat it. that's expert level gas lighting.
but either way. it's either both men AND women are running out of dating options and maybe should both do something to improve or they both aren't running out of dating options. there's no logical way to make a one sided argument like "only men need to change". and we already got lots of things that men are told to change about them, while there's no such things for women except "you go girl and you're good how you are".
i didn't want this question about me but you're really trying your best to make it about me for some reason that i don't understand and that frankly creeps me out.
the more you're trying to creep up on me, the more defensive i will be and the more you will probably reach weird conclusions but at that point, i don't really care about that anymore. guess we're done.
I help women improve their confidence by getting rid of any victim mentality, and helping them adopt an abundance mindset. I also help them take a mindful and strategic approach to dating, vet men properly, recognizing red flags and green flags, evaluating a man’s attitude, character, and personality.
i do not have a victim mentality. i just wanted to use examples from my personal experience to make a point for what i think happens at a social scale. i'm not some bitter loner who hates women cause he feels like he deserves better or whatever. the reason i might have come across as paranoid to you is because frankly you came across to me as someone who's quite one sided and thinks women are perfect and men do need to change. which at this point is a view that i changed about you but well it's a bit challenging to steer the conversatin back to the main topic if it's now about your assesment of me and all those other tangents we had xD
i'm sure generally speaking that men do not do anymore what would be necessary to attract a woman that they would want. and i think a big reason for that is that the standards and practices that men would traditionally do that with are now invalidated in this emancipated society. as i already said, i feel that everyone just tries to tell men how they need to change and that what they do isn't right anymore with many contradictory instructions on "how to treat a woman right", yet there's from my point of view no percievable effort to teach women how to treat a man right in this new emancipated entivornment.
like even in what you just said your job with coaching women was. there is nothign about being self aware as a woman. nothing on "how to treat a man right". nothing on what you need to bring to the table as a woman. or maybe there is but you didn't say. i don't know. it seems like there's only a focus on the other side.
I do help women with self awareness and understanding/exploring their value and then giving that value to a man who has earned it. That’s why I mostly coach women.
Well, it depends on what type of value she prefers to give and whether or not she understands how to select the interested men that best aligns with her preferences and values. Though, I can say there are several core partnership skills that both men and women can offer their partner: love, active listening, direct communication, trust, loyalty, respect, emotional support, companionship, intimacy, etc.
I’m not sure I follow the question. I think the media and some social stereotypes still focus too much on a man’s income and status and not his level of emotional intelligence and how well they provide value as a life partner or companion.
emotional intelligence is just a nonsense pseudoscientifical word that people often use to make themself feel better when scoring low in intelligence tests. people that are intelligent also have empathy and understanding for other humans emotions unless they have mental disease like sociopathy, psychopathy or aspergers.
like in actual psychology, emotional intelligence is not at all a commonly accepted concept. it is rather critiqued for it's subjectivity and it's lack of predictory power unless classical intelligence measuring methods are applied but then it's really not about emotion anymore.
so i largely disagree with the use of the term emotional intelligence, caus it's mostly a wishy washy subjective moral argument rather than anobjective scientifical one but i do understand that empathy and adequately reacing to your partners emotional state and needs is important.
Emotional intelligence is a term used to refer to the ability to understand, manage, and respond to emotions in a healthy and effective way. Emotional regulation is probably a better term.
i know how those who came up with it define it but in actual psychology, that concept is scoffed at and not taken seriously. emotional self regulation is a function of intelligence. that's why it's scoffed at. it's trying to make some new fancy fad measure for "emotional stuff" that is actually already covered by measures of intelligence. much better measures would be the MBTI or Ocean/Big five test to mesure compatibility and predict success in relationships. or even a straight up intelligence test, cause those who score high in intelligence won't score low in any emotional tests unless they have the mentioned mental conditions.
I think they should do a bit of introspection to find out what kind of men they are socially, financially and domestically.
So that they can go after the women who complement their personalities or ideas of gender roles if they believe in such. Women that are looking for the same thing as them.
Exactly these same women with these high standards have built themselves up by tearing men down There aren’t going to be any quality men if you spent your life stepping on men and using them you reap what you sow
Yup. I know a young guy with a good high income career who's about to get married. His fiance had her own low paying career that she insisted on making a big part of her week... until he bought a house & got engage. Suddenly all she wants to do is lounge around and he is literally doing all of the cooking and cleaning plus working his job. But he's too "smart" to see the danger here. He's still hypnotized by her body.
@hahahmm i was in a similar situation I haven’t made less than 70k a year since I was 18and big tits are my weakness I’m so glad I didn’t get her pregnant so when I saw through her BS I was just able to leave
Women no longer need men, why should men work to be suitable to women that neither need nor respect them? Men are leaving the dating world because women told them they weren't needed anymore. This is just the result.
Well i do agree about dating sites when i was on it all i saw girls looking for a way to increase their followers count in general, weeding other categories like just want to talk nothing more etc. you are not left with healthy options.
Would like to what others have to suggest to improve for seeking suitable partner without lowering standards.
That’s super interesting!! Thank you for sharing! Biggest deal breaker for me is entitlement. Your not entitled to my body, to fast responses, or to my time. Be fun and invite me out, I’ll probably say yes.
In my experience women who seek emotionally available men soon discard them. I will never ever advise anyone NOT work on themselves. Self-improvement is something we should all strive for even in a relationship.
Something is clearly wrong with that statistics unless they count multiple women dating the same man as a pairing. It's a train wreck on both side, only difference is who get sex and children. No side is happy with modern dating.
Hmm if men are gonna die alone , how will the women find the men so won't they be dying alone as well or they are just ok with being homosexuals as there is only women that could reach their standards and expectations?
Life is better for both parties when they're working together as a duo, combining their income so they can both live in a nice, spacious home and when an accident happens and they have to get surgery.
They don't have to lose a day of sleep cause with their combined income, they can cover it easily.
The issue is that such simple concepts like that are sadly being lost in today's society
I'm kinda tired of the process, I think dating was easier when you met girls in person in public, it's natural, I think computer dating is unnatural expensive, anti social, and a waste of time.
It takes two to tango, right? The difference is that women have much more dating “mobility.” A young cute woman can date a wider range men than the men her same age.
Yup! Although I think the contrast is biggest when women are younger. Men need more guidance about how to deal with women and women need more guidance about how to have more reasonable expectations
I think it is the opposite for me before I was so focused on my career that I didn’t even notice that any man was interested in me🤣 now It is in all directions young or old and I am like what did I do 🤣
Right. Men are less likely to partner today because the risk women bring isn't worth it anymore. Back in the day men said, I want XYZ. Women gave it. Now you have all these feminists/close lesbians telling dudes: "You will take what I decide is best for you with a smile & stfu while I act like a man". Plus he loses 60% in divorce AND alimony/child support.
@MzAsh Quality dudes don't get depressed about women at all.. well, maybe for 1 month out of his life. At most. That's it. You women can't believe it because you're so deep in your emotions & the germs in the cat box mess with your heads too.
@MzAsh Numbers can't be trusted because politics determines which studies get funded & what gets promoted. That said, you can find amusing double speak like www.verywellmind.com/why-is-depression-more-common-in-women-1067040 which outright says women get depressed more often but later on says, hey let's move the goal posts. Let's find a way to say men are the same as women by changing how we measure depression. Maybe dudes are depressed when they express anger! But let's not apply the same standard to women because that would mean women are depressed damn near 365 days out of the year.
@MzAsh Count your cats. A man will have zero pets or 1 pet and be content. A woman needs 20 cats. It's not that complicated. And, of course, the older she gets the worse it is. Exceptions only prove the rule.
@MzAsh Simply not true. Divorced men die the first, followed by married men, with never-married men living the longest. The original study that claimed married men live longer was a small sample done in the 1950's!
As for earning less money, well hell yes, when you don't have to work 80 hours/week to give princess shiny sparkly things you will actually have time to pursue your own hobbies and passions.
Their statistics are as biased as reuters claiming that fapping is good for you. Just because ejaculation frequency correlated negatively with reproductive health. It could not get more stupid.
You have to ask, why did the men not ejaculate often? Because they chose to retain semen which increases androgen receptor sensitivity and serum testosterone levels? Or because they are so unhealthy they're unable to ejaculate? HUGE difference. Are unmarried men that they count trying to get married and are unable to? Or do they choose not to get married although they could?
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but too many men focus on dating aps or sites instead of trying to meet people in person , i realise some are busy with work and don't have the time to physically do that. but still how far can you expect to take things if you've never seen them inperson and just 1 of a 100 random guys who happened to view/message them that week. unless some of these single men get better at meeting women in person in real life again i agree its going to be a long drought for them
He's using dating apps as his source. It's obvious that he's over-sampling inactive accounts to get a desired result. How many guys you think get on an app see "$9.99 a month" or nothing spam bots asking for money before he either closes the account or doesn't ever use it anymore.
I’m not out of options. “None of the above” is always an option. Married men at my age who are genuinely happy in their marriages are a rarity. Many are jealous of my status.
That article seems to take a femaleocentric view of the world which assumes men are miserable without women. It is often women making men miserable.
The statistics don’t suggest that, however.
@MikeInHawaii Women these days try to make guys look so hopeless about relationships like they would be happy if men could never have anybody.
since there's an equal ammount of women, there's an equal ammount of single ladies. i mean logically in a monogamous society, you can't end up with more men than women that are single. so what needs to happen is that women have to get off their high horse and adjust their standard that they've been cranking way up above eleven.
i mean what i see happening is more and more people turn gay or trans. guess that's a way around it.
If women adjust their standards, what type of men should be included that aren’t being included now?
the regular average joe. if every woman considers herself a 10 and only goes for 10s, then everything below that doesn't get included.
Describe the average Joe and what makes him worthy of a quality woman.
i'm not saying that anyone should get a partner "higher in quality" than themself. guys are usually realistic. like they know their worth. like someone who works at some assembly line knows they're not the same value as some phd education ceo level guy. however with women that same value system is out the window. even the most deadbeat lazy bitch thnik she can have the top level men just cause they have tits and a vagina. i'm not over generalizing. there's luckily some exceptions. but like go on youtube or whereever they ask women what they'd rate themself. even the most ugly, low accomplishment chick estimates herself to be a 10. you won't find that in men. they have humility. they know they're like a 5. that's the sort of adjustment that i think needs to take placem. women need to learn to estimate their worth correctly. which i know is difficult in a sopciety that basically tells women to fuck men and having children and instead have a career, which for men and in the dating world is really not the deciding factor.
@MzAsh What makes the average woman believe she is worthy of a man who is a 9 or 10? Or even a 4 or 5 that makes $200,000+ a year? This is an American phenomenon. And if it continues, it is going to become dangerous for women. Women don't get to choose if they have sex with men. If they insist they do, they will go down a road that leads to a bad place.
@U4ea0 naw it's most of the western world, not just USA.
@MzAsh Eastern Europe is fine. It's not an issue in Mediterranean countries either.
@U4ea0 well in germany, france, denmark, netherlands and spain, this is a thing for sure too. eastern Europe naturally laggs behind in these developments but i'm sure it will arrive there too just like the mediterranean.
It’s all about perception. Many high value men desire average and below average women when they’re looking for wives.
ok but then from whence cometh the problem you were speaking of in your question? XD
The problem is that men want women who don’t want them.
the female ego was never so overinflated. tinder, instagram and liberal media that made basically every sort of negative evaluation of a woman "politically incorrect" but it's the men who need to adjust their standards? like i'm not even saying it's womens fault. but like i'm a slightly above average dude. i got a masters degree, a decent job, i'm slender and muscular. and you know what's the only sort of woman who responds to me on tinder? morbidly obese single moms. so from my point of view, women have to adjust their standards, not men.
What other methods besides tinder do you use to talk to women?
i just used tinder as an examples. i also of course talk to women IRL and on multiple other platforms. some of my best friends are women too.
Do you have the same result with only morbidly obese single moms responding?
yes. in fact there's one of them in my friends circle who divorced her husband recently and first thing she does is trying to seduce me xD it's like i'm a magnet for that type of woman. I don't know why.
there's that other girl that i think is hot. not like out of this world but somewhat on my level hot. actually talked to her and she says i'm a 9/10 in her opinionand she herself considers herself an 8/10. still she didn't end up being intrested in me for some reason that she couldn't explain to me.
What have you tried to change your outcomes with the type of women interested in you?
it's not like i can change the expectations of women. also "i" am not the topic of this question. i'm not one piece of annekdotal evidence, that is in fact not at all evidence on a societal scale. so if even high value men tend to be fine with even mid to low value women, then where does the problem in your question come from? i mean you said "men want women that don't want them". why do those women not want them? because from the former claim about men (being ok with average to low quality) it logically follows that it really can't come from unrealistic male expectations right?
i'm nothing but one piece of annekdotal evidence**
and most certainly it's not that men don't want a woman just cause she wants him.
Of course you can’t change the expectations of women. But what *can* you change?
should you bend yourself in order to please others or should you find someone who likes you for who you are? that answers that question. now back to the main question that we're working at. what do you estimate the reason is if male choice seems to be quite forgiving interms of choice for value in a partner?
Men are born to pursue and compete for women in order to provide for them. But now that women no longer need men as much for basic survival since most working and earning money, women are now looking for life partnership in men, but I think many men lack understanding of what that looks like.
why is it then that women always want "traditional gentelman men" wherever they find it romantic but everywhere they don't like masculinity, they call it "toxic"? like why is it still a standard that men pay on a date, if women are earning the same type of money for themself?
and why do women complain about catcalling and call all men who approach sex offenders and then at the same time complain that men don't approach anymore?
There are men who are willing to pay who still remain gentlemanly and know how to approach a woman respectfully. It’s a reasonable ask. Though, I do encourage women to keep a close critical eye on men who pay and start acting like she owes him sex at the end of the date. Personally, I’d much rather go 50/50 and remove all chances of him trying to act entitled. But then again, I know how to find men who don’t do that.
you can't respect women as equal and at the same time pay for their dinner at a date making them "not equal". that's the major contradiction that women jsut don't see. they only ever want the best of all worlds and never accept disadvantages that come with a thing they themself wanted. as you see in emancipation. women can do every job now. yet there's no conscription for women.
women are entiteled to be repsected evenw ithout doing anythign for it. meanwhile a man is never respected. either they have their own opinion which makes them an asshole or they are politcially correct and only support opinions that women want them to support but then they are a whimpy loser xD can't win as a man in this society.
There are men willing to pay and still respect women as equals in society. Good men *want* to please women, and if he pursued the right woman and did so properly, he will be rewarded for that.
if you are "willing to pay" you are establishing inequality. equality and men paying for women are mutually exclusive concepts.
"if he pursued the right woman and did so properly" that's just a blanket statemtn that is true but says nothing.
A good man will pay out of generosity and a desire to treat her. You can do nice things for others without thinking you’re not equal.
it's like men have to bend themself out of shape to get attention from a woman. women just have to exist. doesn't seem like an equal world to me.
Well, men and women are different but I don’t see why both can’t be valued in society but in different ways.
yeah you can do nice things. but you can't expected to be paid for as if your time is worth more, if you wanna be equal. that's what i'm saying. it's like there's so many standards for men and so many things that men should or should not be or do. what's there a woman has to bring to the table?
In terms of reproduction, a woman’s time is valuable because it is limited.
women and men are different. i agree. and it's stupid to want "equality" if the genders are different :D but yeah. i feel like there's such a big discussion about what men should and should not do to be an attractive mate to women. and there's litterally no standards women have to live up to except for maybe "not being fat", even though you're not alowed to even say that.
I think a lot of that is up to men though isn’t it. However many men just want to get laid so bad that they’ll take whatever they can get. But by then their quality is shot to shit and therefor unqualified for a long term relationship.
so is there anything at all that women should change about themself? or is it just men that need to change everything about themself to somehow magically fullfill the contradicting desires of women?
I think there are plenty of things that women would be wise to change, in general. Most men lack firm boundaries and they lack proper vetting of men for long term relationships. Unfortunately many women think that the 6ft 6 quarterback is their future husband when realistically he’s not going to be a good husband.
If they’re looking for happy, long term relationships, they’ll need to look for intelligent, emotionally stable men with easygoing, cooperative, personalities, who loyal, generous and respectful.
I meant most women lack firm boundaries.
Unfortunately many women think that the 6ft 6 quarterback is their future husband when realistically he’s not going to be a good husband. that was exactly my point when i talked about my personal experience. that was when you told me basically i have to change.
Where did I tell you that you had to change?
"Of course you can’t change the expectations of women. But what *can* you change?" you know what you implied when asking that :P
I was asking you. I wasn’t telling you anything.
come on. i'm not that stupid.
If you thought I was implying anything, that’s on you. You do realize I’m a coach, right? These are common coaching questions I’m asking you.
well if you're a coach you know exactly the purpose of that question xD you're trying to sell me for even more stupid now.
No but I am beginning to wonder how your extreme paranoia and projection affects your relationships.
wow. is that what you set up the "i'm a coach" thing up for? so that you can use the authority i associate with a coach to tell me i have paranoia and suffer from projection? you really must think i'm dumb xD
can you at least articulate which metrics you used to determine that i suffer from "extreme paranoia"?
You brought up your inability to attract women besides obese single moms. I wanted to understand and to help you understand why that is and what could be done to improve your outcomes. Not only would you not answer my questions directly, you began accusing me.
ok. so if you actually are a coach, i am sure you understand that you can not just randomly coach whoever you want. you must know that you gotta establish a cliant-coach relationship first, in which the cliant consents to being coached, as you can't coach someone who doesn't want to be coached. and i hoped i made it clear that i am not comfrotable with that when i tried to steer ayway from "myself" as a topic back to the qeustion at hand. because neither do i know you, nor do i trust you being that you're just a randomperson on the internet. so if you had noble intentions, thanks but you gotta ask people if they wanna be coached before you just coach them. you understand why you have to do that?
client* weird typo...
I’m not actually coaching you because you’re not paying me and we haven’t signed an agreement. You were the one that brought up your situation complaining about not being able to attract decent women. If you don’t want to explore that further, you have every right to refrain from responding to me. I’m not holding a gun to your head.
still kind of weird to just randomly tell someone that they're suffering from extreme paranoia and projection. definitely not a thing that makes people respond in friendly ways, so i'm still left to wonder what your intention was with that.
cause clearly that was not an expert opinion.
It doesn’t need to be an expert opinion. It wasn’t friendly of you to assume I was “telling you” you change when that was a lie.
no you didn't tell me that. you implied that with your question and because you didn't litterally say it, you're now bullying me by claiming innosence on your part and adding the insult of "paranoia" on top to sugar coat it. that's expert level gas lighting.
but either way. it's either both men AND women are running out of dating options and maybe should both do something to improve or they both aren't running out of dating options. there's no logical way to make a one sided argument like "only men need to change". and we already got lots of things that men are told to change about them, while there's no such things for women except "you go girl and you're good how you are".
I wanted to get an understanding about what’s going on behind why you can’t attract decent women. I think we’re getting somewhere now.
at least you could make out some ways women could improve, so you're not as one sided as your question made you sound.
i didn't want this question about me but you're really trying your best to make it about me for some reason that i don't understand and that frankly creeps me out.
the more you're trying to creep up on me, the more defensive i will be and the more you will probably reach weird conclusions but at that point, i don't really care about that anymore. guess we're done.
I help women improve their confidence by getting rid of any victim mentality, and helping them adopt an abundance mindset. I also help them take a mindful and strategic approach to dating, vet men properly, recognizing red flags and green flags, evaluating a man’s attitude, character, and personality.
You’re free to leave this conversation whenever you want.
i do not have a victim mentality. i just wanted to use examples from my personal experience to make a point for what i think happens at a social scale. i'm not some bitter loner who hates women cause he feels like he deserves better or whatever. the reason i might have come across as paranoid to you is because frankly you came across to me as someone who's quite one sided and thinks women are perfect and men do need to change. which at this point is a view that i changed about you but well it's a bit challenging to steer the conversatin back to the main topic if it's now about your assesment of me and all those other tangents we had xD
i'm sure generally speaking that men do not do anymore what would be necessary to attract a woman that they would want. and i think a big reason for that is that the standards and practices that men would traditionally do that with are now invalidated in this emancipated society. as i already said, i feel that everyone just tries to tell men how they need to change and that what they do isn't right anymore with many contradictory instructions on "how to treat a woman right", yet there's from my point of view no percievable effort to teach women how to treat a man right in this new emancipated entivornment.
like even in what you just said your job with coaching women was. there is nothign about being self aware as a woman. nothing on "how to treat a man right". nothing on what you need to bring to the table as a woman. or maybe there is but you didn't say. i don't know. it seems like there's only a focus on the other side.
I do help women with self awareness and understanding/exploring their value and then giving that value to a man who has earned it. That’s why I mostly coach women.
so what is this "value" a female person should have or strive to have. and does it differ from the value a man should have?
Well, it depends on what type of value she prefers to give and whether or not she understands how to select the interested men that best aligns with her preferences and values. Though, I can say there are several core partnership skills that both men and women can offer their partner: love, active listening, direct communication, trust, loyalty, respect, emotional support, companionship, intimacy, etc.
do you find any of the common problems to differ from what are propagated to be the common problems in like media and social stereotypes?
I’m not sure I follow the question. I think the media and some social stereotypes still focus too much on a man’s income and status and not his level of emotional intelligence and how well they provide value as a life partner or companion.
emotional intelligence is just a nonsense pseudoscientifical word that people often use to make themself feel better when scoring low in intelligence tests. people that are intelligent also have empathy and understanding for other humans emotions unless they have mental disease like sociopathy, psychopathy or aspergers.
like in actual psychology, emotional intelligence is not at all a commonly accepted concept. it is rather critiqued for it's subjectivity and it's lack of predictory power unless classical intelligence measuring methods are applied but then it's really not about emotion anymore.
so i largely disagree with the use of the term emotional intelligence, caus it's mostly a wishy washy subjective moral argument rather than anobjective scientifical one but i do understand that empathy and adequately reacing to your partners emotional state and needs is important.
Emotional intelligence is a term used to refer to the ability to understand, manage, and respond to emotions in a healthy and effective way. Emotional regulation is probably a better term.
i know how those who came up with it define it but in actual psychology, that concept is scoffed at and not taken seriously. emotional self regulation is a function of intelligence. that's why it's scoffed at. it's trying to make some new fancy fad measure for "emotional stuff" that is actually already covered by measures of intelligence. much better measures would be the MBTI or Ocean/Big five test to mesure compatibility and predict success in relationships. or even a straight up intelligence test, cause those who score high in intelligence won't score low in any emotional tests unless they have the mentioned mental conditions.
I see.
I think they should do a bit of introspection to find out what kind of men they are socially, financially and domestically.
So that they can go after the women who complement their personalities or ideas of gender roles if they believe in such. Women that are looking for the same thing as them.
Well a lot of women are looking for men to provide a lifestyle and not be a true partner, especially in America.
I think women have a lot to work on as well.
Exactly these same women with these high standards have built themselves up by tearing men down
There aren’t going to be any quality men if you spent your life stepping on men and using them you reap what you sow
It's the materialistic nature of it all that makes it seem transactional and like its prostitution rather than genuine love.
Yup. I know a young guy with a good high income career who's about to get married. His fiance had her own low paying career that she insisted on making a big part of her week... until he bought a house & got engage. Suddenly all she wants to do is lounge around and he is literally doing all of the cooking and cleaning plus working his job. But he's too "smart" to see the danger here. He's still hypnotized by her body.
@hahahmm: Ugh. He can do better than that. If she is acting like that now, once she has locked herself into getting half, imagine how she'll be.
@hahahmm i was in a similar situation I haven’t made less than 70k a year since I was 18and big tits are my weakness I’m so glad I didn’t get her pregnant so when I saw through her BS I was just able to leave
Women no longer need men, why should men work to be suitable to women that neither need nor respect them? Men are leaving the dating world because women told them they weren't needed anymore. This is just the result.
Well said
Im not mad either i think feminism is beautiful
Well i do agree about dating sites when i was on it all i saw girls looking for a way to increase their followers count in general, weeding other categories like just want to talk nothing more etc. you are not left with healthy options.
Would like to what others have to suggest to improve for seeking suitable partner without lowering standards.
That’s super interesting!! Thank you for sharing! Biggest deal breaker for me is entitlement. Your not entitled to my body, to fast responses, or to my time. Be fun and invite me out, I’ll probably say yes.
In my experience women who seek emotionally available men soon discard them. I will never ever advise anyone NOT work on themselves. Self-improvement is something we should all strive for even in a relationship.
Something is clearly wrong with that statistics unless they count multiple women dating the same man as a pairing. It's a train wreck on both side, only difference is who get sex and children. No side is happy with modern dating.
Hmm if men are gonna die alone , how will the women find the men so won't they be dying alone as well or they are just ok with being homosexuals as there is only women that could reach their standards and expectations?
Really? 🤔… that’s too much. Just stay single for all. Every gender has their share of issues. No one’s perfect.
Life is better for both parties when they're working together as a duo, combining their income so they can both live in a nice, spacious home and when an accident happens and they have to get surgery.
They don't have to lose a day of sleep cause with their combined income, they can cover it easily.
The issue is that such simple concepts like that are sadly being lost in today's society
Rangers, I agree.
I'm kinda tired of the process, I think dating was easier when you met girls in person in public, it's natural, I think computer dating is unnatural expensive, anti social, and a waste of time.
*SOME men are running themselves out of options...
others, we don't have such issue
More men than women are scarce in options.
well... if you're only considering heterosexual couples
and given populations that are almost 50/50
that kind of math would be funny to me... and just because of how pairing actually works
so maybe the studies are based in "anecdotical report" which, are prone to all kinds of error and assumptions
It takes two to tango, right? The difference is that women have much more dating “mobility.” A young cute woman can date a wider range men than the men her same age.
Any woman of any age can, even average looking or older.
Yup! Although I think the contrast is biggest when women are younger. Men need more guidance about how to deal with women and women need more guidance about how to have more reasonable expectations
That’s a fair statement.
I think it is the opposite for me before I was so focused on my career that I didn’t even notice that any man was interested in me🤣 now It is in all directions young or old and I am like what did I do 🤣
@kikissss there was always guys interested lmao you just didn’t notice.
I don't know, but I've been trying NoFap and NoShowers for a few weeks now and I'm not seeing any improvement with women.
They seem to be avoiding me even more than usual
I say good luck with that. Dating as I see will continue getting worse as time goes on.
And when I say this, it won't get worse just for men. It will continue getting worse for women too.
Laughable. Men who are alone do MUCH better than women who are alone.
Right. Men are less likely to partner today because the risk women bring isn't worth it anymore. Back in the day men said, I want XYZ. Women gave it. Now you have all these feminists/close lesbians telling dudes: "You will take what I decide is best for you with a smile & stfu while I act like a man". Plus he loses 60% in divorce AND alimony/child support.
*closet lesbians
Statistically single men are more depressed, earn less money, and die younger.
@MzAsh Quality dudes don't get depressed about women at all.. well, maybe for 1 month out of his life. At most. That's it. You women can't believe it because you're so deep in your emotions & the germs in the cat box mess with your heads too.
What metrics do you use to determine that?
@MzAsh Numbers can't be trusted because politics determines which studies get funded & what gets promoted. That said, you can find amusing double speak like www.verywellmind.com/why-is-depression-more-common-in-women-1067040 which outright says women get depressed more often but later on says, hey let's move the goal posts. Let's find a way to say men are the same as women by changing how we measure depression. Maybe dudes are depressed when they express anger! But let's not apply the same standard to women because that would mean women are depressed damn near 365 days out of the year.
What metrics do you use to determine that quality men don’t get depressed about women at all?
@MzAsh Count your cats. A man will have zero pets or 1 pet and be content. A woman needs 20 cats. It's not that complicated. And, of course, the older she gets the worse it is. Exceptions only prove the rule.
What is your source for this information?
@MzAsh Simply not true. Divorced men die the first, followed by married men, with never-married men living the longest. The original study that claimed married men live longer was a small sample done in the 1950's!
As for earning less money, well hell yes, when you don't have to work 80 hours/week to give princess shiny sparkly things you will actually have time to pursue your own hobbies and passions.
What statistics? Cause everything I've seen shows that single men make way more money than single women
Not true.
www.health.harvard.edu/.../marriage-and-mens-health
This is from Harvard University and from 2019.
Their statistics are as biased as reuters claiming that fapping is good for you. Just because ejaculation frequency correlated negatively with reproductive health.
It could not get more stupid.
You have to ask, why did the men not ejaculate often? Because they chose to retain semen which increases androgen receptor sensitivity and serum testosterone levels? Or because they are so unhealthy they're unable to ejaculate?
HUGE difference.
Are unmarried men that they count trying to get married and are unable to? Or do they choose not to get married although they could?
Shit. Should have said a positive correlation of ejac frequency with reproductive health. And some other mistakes. But you get the last main point.
You sure they running outta options? Look like they got options just like us. Anyone who dont just a late bloomer