Should I move out from my own country?

[Anonymous]

Hello, I'm from a country in Southeast Asia.
I've been wanting to ask this question a lot, because it seems like my own country is taking my mental health down to the toilet. From corruption issues and personal issues, I felt like I'm not that motivated anymore. And wanted to kill people whenever I'm around people in my own country, ever since my father died and my father's family took the condolences fund that was supposed to be for his wife (my mum) and his sons (my brother and I). But was taken by his own family.
And not to mentioned, the society here are just not fitted with me. I can't relate much and I can't even stand staying in public for too long.
I wanted to move out, but the lack of funds and documents makes it hard for me to immigrate. And considering I can't go to a psychologist because of Southeast Asia's belief that going to a psychologist is a shameful thing to do, I'm not sure how long I can hold my urges to not kill people or do something worse.
I wanted to move out so badly, it feels hurt and it makes me wanna kill people so badly.
I'm not sure if I could hold my urges for too long, many people are keep triggering my urges and they think it's some sort of jokes. I honestly don't know how long I can stay faking my own emotion and I can't keep up with southeast Asian culture that's just messing up my mental health, and I don't even know what am I supposed to do. Since people kept triggering my urges, and it makes me procrastinate and unmotivated to do positive stuff. And I can't hold my own urges, why does the world keep making me like I'm not "normal" ? I've tried to be normal, but people would just sh*t on me.
I can't hold it anymore, and not to mentioned. The government in my own country is corrupt, and whenever I've tried to apply for an ID Card or Passport or something. If I don't bribed them, I have to wait for a year or two. Just to get my documents. And then when crimes happen, the police doesn't care. Please tell me what to do. Thanks

[Changiis07]

If you want to move to another country you should. Change is always a good thing and sometimes those urges to want to kill people might still be there if you don't work on yourself first. It maybe not be something that moving to another country can help. Yes people suck but you need to start being grateful for what you do have. Start counting your blessings and start focusing more on the positives than the negatives otherwise everything around you is going to trigger you and you'll want to kill someone. Which there will be no point in doing so. So start with YOU and start making changes. Go for a walk and stop letting people get in your head. If moving will help then move

[Asker]

I've tried being grateful, but it just keeps making me thinking. what's the point of living? I've been tried to be positive, but certainly not possible in my own country. Especially with the recent growing religious extremist groups, I can't become positive. Because the ultimate forces that keeps making me a psycho is these people who kept asking for an "Islamic Caliphate", and I can't hold any of my urges whenever I'm in my own country.
And since I'm an ethnic minority, I get discriminated a lot. And I don't know what and how am I supposed to live right now with the environment internally and externally not supporting me to become positive?

[Changiis07]

Are you on social media a lot? If so, you may want to start there and limit the use of IG, Facebook, Tiktok nothing good ever comes from those platforms. If that's not the case then you need to get out of your head. It's hard but you can do it. It may not happen overnight but at least ding things you enjoy. You can't be like this all the time, it's not healthy. We will all have ups and downs in life you just need to get over this down that you're having