Do do believe a former racist can ever be remorseful and changed?

[CelineBV]

Supposedly this woman (now in her early 80's) by the name of Hazel Massery apologized sometime in the 60's when she became a mother for her racists attacks. She was the screaming girl (15 years old at the time) on this picture:

Their reconciliation/friendship ended in 1999 because Elizabeth (the victim) felt the memories were too painful and that Hazel was using her friendship to lessen her guilt and to continue seeking attention. The other in The Nine Rock (other victims) didn't want Hazel; they thought she was making excuses by claiming she didn't remember everything. Therefore according to them she hasn't changed and is doing it for other reasons, esp at the embarrassing picture she has to look at for the rest of her life.

Nope, once a racist always a racist... she's not sorry

Yes, they can change... I believe she's remorseful

Updates

1 y

She first apologized over the phone when she was in her early 20's and was a mother. She thought of herself that her children will one day look at the picture of her.
But the reconciliation wasn't enough. Nothing she ever did was enough to overlook that permanent iconic image. In the end, while she claimed to be all remorseful the other victims didn't care nor believe her.

[caring__1]

How many 10-year-olds do you know who have a different religion than their parents? Kids are indoctrinated from the time they are born. They aren't aware of this, so there's nothing for them to question. As we grow, hopefully, our perspective is broadened, and people can become more aware and take a different path. The problem is most of these people who want to change have no support system or guidance to make the change, so it often comes across awkward and less than ideal. It's not that they don't want to change, they don't know how to change. Should we assume everyone who ever wore a diaper or drank out of a baby bottle will continue those behaviors for the rest of their life? Be a support system to those who want to change rather than criticizing them for what they've done in the past.

[CelineBV]

Actually she was 15 years old, that's not a little kid. At the age, you can distinguish right from wrong. It took her to her early 20's (when she became a mother) to finally realize it was was and apologize.

[caring__1]

The more intense the indoctrination, the harder it is to break away from it. I could have asked the same question regarding how many 15-year-olds who have a different religion than their parents. The answer wouldn't be much different than if dealing with 10-year-9lds. I'm sure others looking in at you would see signs of your parents' bad habits in you. Can you easily eliminate all your parents' bad habits from your behaviors? If you can't see any of your parent's bad habits in you, ask your parents or others who are close to your family. I'm sure they won't have any problem identifying your shared bad habits.

[caring__1]

We can't undo what we've done in the past, so it's understandable how difficult it would be for Elizabeth to excise the impact of that trauma from her life, but that doesn't prevent us from making a fresh start and making a consistent alteration to our behavior and how we treat others.

[CelineBV]

True in the end it's about moving forward. I don't blame Elizabeth for breaking off the friendship with Hazel. I don't think that's something I would've fully reconciled too if I were the victim.

[caring__1]

It's unlikely to totally let go of significant traumas we experience, but that doesn't prevent others from learning from the experience and making changes.

[zeitgeist057]

@caring_1 great example with religion. I was actually a model for this, I was racist, homophobic, and religious when I was 15 raised in a Christian, predominately white, heteronormative community in northern Idaho.
I was around 19 when I separated from Christianity, and my homophobia started to change around that time although I was accepting of homosexuality, I still used homosexuality as a slur. I also began to learn more about other cultures, and became less racist in my 20s.
I absolutely believe people can grow and change; I don't know about this particular woman, but I believe she also has the capacity for change.

[bayoubob]

I was not brought up on anything. Religion or Politics. I know people who say during my Mid Twenties that I'm not doing my Civic Duty. Simply because voting is SO SO IMPORTANT. They were also Catholic. They were indoctrinated so helplessly. I simply told them, it's NOT IMPORTANT. They laughed at me. In school, never once did my teachers say nothing more than, serving jury duty was a thing. They did not push it. But the dumbass stickers that say "I VOTED" was seen. Just by one teacher. At some point in my late 20's, I did have an opinion. And it was mine, and mine only whilst doing everything I could do to be denied a seat on a Jury. It is not my Duty to serve on a fucking Jury. I've been asked 3 times or more. I won't do it. I could. But, it's not my Civic Duty. Anywhoodles, the same broad that was a real real good friend that says it's a Civic Duty to vote? To find out years later, that we are totally on the opposite sides of the Political Spectrum? She should have thanked me not to coerced by her dumbass thoughts, for one, once I got my mind behind me? I'm the totally exact opposite of her political slantings. She should be thankful. Because i'm not for her fucking side.

[bayoubob]

At the same time, I will tell you my best friends are Catholic or Christian. They do not care if I was atheist at some point, later on more agnostic. Simply, put America is about FREEDOM. They cared not if I joined lock outs at a Grand Slam facility with them, aka (arcade, batting cages type thing), went to MLB Games, went to Skiiing outings, simply joined Sunday Mass. I can do that. And we did it. I loved it. Europe doesn't understand this. It's Community. It's FREEDOM. Systemic Racism is not a thing. Male Privilege is not a thing. Nothing is a thing unless Democrats prey upon you for it. That is all. We stand for Free Speech, We stand for the 2nd Amendment. We stand for FREEDOM period.

[bayoubob]

That same Woman? I would really love to see if she still has one Scintilla of Catholic in her. I would doubt it. That's what Dem's do.

[bayoubob]

They tell them about Science. They tell them about Climate Change. Global Warming. Al Gore invented it right? Plus the internet? They believe any thing. Long as it distracts them from things that should give them a sound basis.

[ManOnFire]

Very interesting. I had no idea they ever even became 'friends.' But if Elizabeth herself decided she didn't want to stay connected to Hazel anymore then her feelings were probably right. I'm sure the white lady did just want to try to spruce up her image so she wouldn't be hated forever, but aside from her there are other racists who have changed, yeah. I watched a video once about a former neo-Nazi who was helped to be reformed by a black woman who was his parole officer. They became friends.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/njXZUH5hv0w

[CelineBV]

Interesting story indeed. Another thing that ended their friendship is they showed up on Oprah once and even Oprah herself wasn't warming to Hazel. She didn't think an apology would be enough to reconcile.
www.thedailybeast.com/elizabeth-and-hazel-excerpt-how-oprah-dissed-a-civil-rights-icon

[ManOnFire]

Oooooh wow. Even Oprah wasn't a fan. That says something.

[Nomina]

Yes, people can change and do all the time. I've had views I did a complete 180 on, and that came with time and new experiences.

I completely believe it.

A while back I had a little obsession with finding stories about men that were in the Aryan Brotherhood and changed their lives around completely, either in prison or out of prison. Fascinating stuff and so heartwarming!

[dustybiker]

Ever read up on all of the female nazi camp controllers? I highly doubt that kind of crazy could ever be corrected. One woman (as example) liked to collect tattoos and make home decorative objects out of them. You can connect the dots how. And had people tattooed when she ran put of natural supply…

[AngryCarl]

Those were adults. 15 year old kids are indoctrinated by their parents and/or peers. They don't really know what they believe and don't have the emotional maturity to control their behaviour.

[dustybiker]

@AngryCarl Blood stains set in. Just my opinion.

[AngryCarl]

I don't know what that means but okay.

[dustybiker]

@AngryCarl teach a kid to be like that, they still aren’t going to change back.

[AngryCarl]

Oh okay, I disagree.

[Herbologist]

I think the word "Racist" is used too loosely nowadays. Its meaning applies to anyone who acknowledges racial differences.
In fact the etymology of the word signifies that the person who is Racist holds race as one of their core principles or doctrines. Most people are racist in this sense. Especially anyone who identifies with race, i. e Black and white people. Most other people identify with an ethnic, national, or linguistic group.
I dont think people can be remorseful or change from being racist. I think she was probably more remorseful about being hateful.
You can be racist and not hate other people.

[bayoubob]

Well, yeah duh. There's too many high profile examples, Marky Mark Mark Wahlberg for one. What Liberals don't understand is everything they stand for is racist. Too many high profile examples exist, just to name a few, Barry Obama, The Boss Bruce Springsteen, and the almighty potato head himself Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. The young dbags who love themselves BLM, etc. The latter does not learn though.

[irifebeck]

There are definitely some people who become open-minded and who grow out of bigoted and racist beliefs. Racism is learned and people can unlearn hateful behaviour. Sometimes, it take a while. I definitely think they still should be held accountable for their previous actions and as long as they have truly changed and apologized or shown growth, I do think former racists can change.

[Kreneman]

Most of the time people cannot handle the truth (In my opinion) but its true that some people that was once racist can change especially if they are saved (according to my spiritual beliefs) and the times that we live now can cause somebody or etc.

[jongreat46]

It depends but she would have to make huge sacrifices for me to believe her apology and the biggest make or break in a sincere apology is expecting the people who you hurt to just forgive you in anyway. Make your apology but if they chose to give you the finger then fine but don't force them any further and walk away and learn from your mistake. Don't go on a rampage how they refuse to forgive you simply because your ego is bruised from your own mistakes.

[CelineBV]

I'm reading that Hazel Massery did try to make it up for what she was. She became an activist for peace and social work. She taught mothering skills to unmarried black women and took underprivileged black teenagers on field trips. She frequented the black history section at the local Barnes & Noble, buying books by Cornel West and Shelby Steele and the companion volume to Eyes on the Prize.
Bryan hoped her reputation could be gained back, but this did not happen until the 40th anniversary of Central's desegregation in 1997. Will Counts, the journalist who took the famous picture, arranged for Elizabeth and Hazel to meet again. The reunion provided an opportunity for acts of reconciliation, as noted in this editorial from the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette on the first day of 1998. However the friendship still ended in 1999 because the victim thought she was doing all that work for attention and to ease her guilt.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hazel_Massery

[Anonymous]

Impossible for me to know her reasons for any of this.

But 15 year olds sometimes do some stupid or illogical stuff. Especially if they've had their head filled by someone else.

Such actions at that age may imply deeply held views that are life defining. Or they may be what was going through their erratic head at that time.

[MCheetah]

People say stupid things when they're young and/or angry. And I have, as well. I don't apologize or regret what I said or did when I was 18-23 (not bigotry; more like reckless living), but I am no longer that person. So yes, people change.

[Friendlybro79]

I don't know about this woman in your example but I do believe people can change. I think it is harder for some than others but it's possible.

[Anonymous]

Most of the time, they don't care that they are racist and only care about their self-image and how people see them.

But she's 80 years and didn't have to apologize. So I think this apology was a little more genuine.

[Opinion Owner]

And women were living in challenging times too. They had to do as their husbands said. So maybe she thought it was okay to be racist because her husband was racist.

Most of the time, women don't care about race.

[CelineBV]

Nope.. I posted the update. She phoned her in the 60's when she was 20 and apologized back then. The victim was grateful to get an apology but didn't accept it. Then they got reunited 40 or so years later but their short-lived friendship ended in 1999.

[skilled_jellyfish]

People can always repent. And you should be always ready to forgive.

[Ms_Facesitter]

I've heard stories about that happening before. But of course that doesn't mean that it will work with any racist.

[CelineBV]

If I was the victim, I wouldn't believe a single word. In the end, the victim ended the friendship and even if the racist girl is remorseful, she has to continue living the rest of her life looking at her picture that shows how hateful she was, looking at what a monster she was.

[FilmGuy93]

People can absolutely change. I don’t understand the hatred so many people have in their hearts for other people’s mistakes

[BlueScorpio]

Anyone can change, they just need to have the desire to change.

[WhitneySnow]

I believe they can but her victims were traumatized and didn’t care. And I don’t blame them.

[Twalli]

It really depends on why you were racist. If you just didn't know any different because your parents taught you to be racist, then you can change.

[OddBeMe]

absolutely. But does she deserve forgiveness?

Its easy to go along with the crowd about racism. Harder to go against your community's beliefs.

[goaded]

I think it can happen, I don't know if it did in this particular case.

[Anonymous]

Plot twist: Elizabeth took Hazel’s parking spot right before this photo was taken and Hazel was yelling at Elizabeth for not caring and then, because of this incident, ended up hating all black people as a result.

[ChefPapiChulo]

it can happen but its not practical to they think they all can. many of them are beyond saving because its engrained in their culture.

[Andres77]

that's not for u to decide.