Society & Politics

Why don't non-Southerners know how to drive in the South?

As someone from the Southern U. S., I've been driving for a while, and I can tell you people who are not from the South do not know how to drive when they get down here.

My guess is there's just a lot of migrants moving down here to the "New South" to enjoy our booming Republican economy and fresh air.

But, please for the love of Jesus, please remember you are not in New York City and follow these laws:

1) Always wave real friendly like at other drivers -- it's common courtesy
2) Slow way down, way down, in even one inch snow -- we only see snow once every few years and it can be quite deadly
3) Slow way down in the rain, because it's kinda like snow
4) Slow down for no reason at all, just to remind people what slow is
5) For God's sake... STOP at yellow lights
6) Remember you are a Christian. Because you're at a four-way stop does not mean you are no longer a Christian. Let women and children go first.
7) Even if you're on a really busy street, please slow down to a stop if someone on a crossroad is waiting at a stop sign. Again, hospitality rules the road here.
8) Do NOT pass tractors. Patience is a virtue, people.

So please drive right in the South or don't come here. We'll sell you some fresh air if you need it that bad.

It is only polite not to pass tractors until they turn off into a corn field.
It is only polite not to pass tractors until they turn off into a corn field.
Why don't non-Southerners know how to drive in the South?
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