Like I don't want her learning about that sort of thing just yet. She needs to find herself without outside influences and not have a book about her daddy is now her mummy and her brother George looks just like a girl. Is that so wrong to want her to know and learn Dr seuss, Roald dahl, Charles Dickens, horrid Henry and read the animal books (magic kitten, save the puppy, animal farm etc) I loved at 6-8.
But I almost feel wrong about being annoyed about this. I know if I were to say to the nursery they might say I'm bigoted etc I just feel trapped.
Updates
9 mo
I didn't think anything of it initially she ripped open the wrapping paper (it's her nursery graduation gift each kid had a different book). I started reading it to her it was likes and dislikes, got a bit confused cause the George character didn't look like a boy. Then got to my mummy doesn't like to shave her face, thinking it's a bit weird for a female to shave her face then got to she used to be my daddy. That was nope, that's when I stopped reading aloud to her and changed books.
Updates
9 mo
Trans people is meant to be 0.5% of the US population and it's probably the same in the UK. Surely kids should be educated on not being greedy, being polite, being grateful etc, skills they will need on a daily basis, how to count or read. Some British secondary schools are changing all clocks to digital cause the kids can't tell the time, but they know all about the social construct of 20 genders. It's really getting out of hand
Am I allowed to feel annoyed that my 4 year old got gifted a book about transgenderism?
I can understand why it may seem mature for a kids book, but kids books have all sorts of stories to them. It's just a matter of whether it's realistic stories or make believe. I've seen kids books about a kid who's family just immigrated to a new country, or who is an orphan and joining a new family/being adopted, or a kids book about race and disability or even racism and ableism (in a simple, child-friendly story, of course).
Finding Nemo is a make believe story about disability and grief for kids! It has serious topics. Kids experience serious things too, and they deserve to learn about serious things. But it's understandable if you want to be the one to introduce those topics first, before they see it in media.
If you prefer stories for your kid about princesses and aliens and make believe things like that, well okay. But many people find nothing wrong with realistic books for kids which tackle the same serious topics. Having a trans parent is a real thing which some kids experience, and so someone made a kids book about it. But if you want to introduce the topic first, I don't think anyone would think you're a bigot for taking the time to do that before giving her the book.
Geez if you don't want your kid to know about trans people that's on you. You said the book wasn't just about that though, you said it started with likes and dislikes, and seems to be about empathy, kindness and acceptance. All also good things kids should learn, whether or not they also learn that not everyone is cis in the same book. I remember the first time I saw a red haired person was in a movie. Red heads worldwide make up about the same percent of people as trans people. But it's not the end of the world for there ro be a redhead in a movie that teaches kids about not bullying and being kind which also happens to deal with broken families and kidnapping.
Yeah the first 3 pages, the next ten was all about how her dad is now a mum. You also have empathy when a friend is hurt and you help them out get them a drink or sit and read etc, kindness you got sharing and not being greedy, be grateful for things different people have different economy and thus might have less or more expensive things than you.
I was good friends with a trans woman she was great fun to be with, we talked about foods, artists, games, movies we met at an acting class and then realised we lived pretty much next door to one another. Other than a couple faux pus where I called her a him (did not look like a female at all) while drunk, which she said it's fine as it's not like we did it on purpose, (my roomie and me) we just chilled. But watching a movie and seeing a red head on the screen isn't going to give you the same confusion as learning about transgenderism. Aka 'so they didn't feel like a boy so now they're a girl, so how do I know I'm a girl' when she's 4 and is too young to comprehend it. And you ask any of these people what is a woman or what is a man and there's 'no correct answer' when really it's as simple as boys have Willys and girls have Vaggies.
As for cis I'm a woman if anyone is cis it's Trans cause they're becoming a gender I already am that gender, so they should be cis-gender and leave the rest of us as gender.
Woah woah slow down. A kid isn't going to think they're trans just because they learn that someone else is trans, any more than they will think they have Red hair because they saw someone with red hair—unless of course they DO have red hair, in which case seeing someone else with red hair may indeed make them more aware of their own and feel better about it (same with trans). The only reason they'd think they're one gender when they're really not is if they've been taught that that's the only one that they could possibly be.
If you've taught your kid "you have a vagina that means you're a girl. That's it." Then good for you, now she thinks she's a girl. A book teaching her "this kids mom used to think she was a dad and was sad, but now she lives as a mom and she's happy. Yay." Won't teach her to think she's not a girl. It will teach her that people are different and different things make different people happy.
Anyway as far as "cis" and "trans" they're just prefixes. Like red head. You know it would be silly to say "red headed people need to leave us brown haired people out of all this "hair color" stuff, if anything THEY have brown hair because they have red hair, so they should just say we have hair not that we have brown hair." It's just a description to be clear. Sometimes you just say "gender" and "hair," but sometimes you say "cis gender" or "trans gender" and "red hair" or "brown hair" to clarify! That's all :)
Actually they might, I don't know how much experience you have with kids and schools, which are heavily pushing this topic. So much so that 11 year olds can't tell the time, but are able to talk about transgenderism and exactly what is sex. My little sister when she was 8 came home from school one day and said she was a boy it took a few hours of on and off questions and finally got told school was saying boys don't like dresses and a few other things. So instead of teaching the kids they can like whatever, they're teaching them if you like this you might be X gender. Awhile later she came home saying she's gay because she hates boys, when questioning her about it it's obvious the school taught her but she's too young to understand what it really meant. So things read in books really can change the perspective of kids, which is why people take this stuff seriously.
Or you can just say you have men and women and you have transmen/ transwomen and leave it at that.
I'm sorry that happened with your kids, but you realize that teaching them that clothes and colors have gender is actually not anything to do with trans things? My parents taught me wearing a dress or liking in would make me a girl and they were violently transphobic. To the point they threatened me if I were to wear a dress or do anything "girly", or even suggest it, because they thought that meant I was being infected by "transgenderism" by the public schools. In reality it was the people in school who taught me I was NOT trans, because i figured out what being trans actually meant. That it was NOT about dresses or colors but about who you are.
Good education helps everyone. And if your kids are being given false information about anything—whether its trans people or sexuality, as I was also taught sexuality is a choice and if I ever chose to like boys I'd be sent to some camp—that just makes it harder for everyone. For the parents who have to correct it, for the kid who has to unlearn it, and for the people who are being spread false information about. I have a friend who's trans and growing up they mainly got bullied by kids who thought they were secretly gay, or mentally ill, or had been abused. All common lies about trans people that even kids have been taught from a young age.
Books that show a trans person as just a regular person who had a problem and they found a solution, and can live a normal happy life, are not going to trick your kids into becoming trans. It will just make them more aware of that trans people exist (which they do) and more understanding toward them (like any book about kindness and understanding). If you kid really just reads a book about a trans person who was sad to be a boy and then your kid thinks they must also be trans, then guess what that might mean? That they're sad being a boy too. And boom now you can talk about it and help them figure themself out as their parent, as someone who knows more than they do. Instead of them just being sad alone and not knowing how to tell you or if it's safe to tell you, or if it's even something wrong and not how everybody feels.
@007kingifrit what? No I'm talking about being trans like she said in the book, like people are in real life. You know people are trans in real life right?
no such thing as being trans, just a state of confusion for lonely losers who hate their life. they seek being trans as an excuse to restart their life, but you can't be a new person. you don't get to define yourself.
@007kingifrit trans people aren't hurting anyone, and them adjusting how they live (even if it was based on confusion) helps them live better and healthier lives. So why do you want to get all in their business and control how they live their life? Do you go around policing what cis people can do too, whether or not a man can wear long hair or a skirt if he wants to? Whether he can get a medical treatment that may make him "less manly" by your personal definitions, even if it's needed for his health?
1. the rape rate in female prisons has skyrocketed 2. the shemale shooters are shooting up schools 3. women are losing their scholarships 4. they will perform genocide if they get powerful enough, the rainbow nazi needing their flag everywhere is an indication of this
@007kingifrit what the fuck? Like 2 trans people become shooters and that means it's ALL trans people to blame? So in that case wouldn't the hundreds and hundreds of cis shooters be more concerning and cis people are more dangerous? And where on earth are trans people trying to commit genocide? Do you even know what that means?
and as far as rape in women's prisons and women losing their scholarships, 1 that's not happening and 2 you know the rate of rape in prison is so high because of the guards, right? And the way they're run? If you're concerned about prison rape rates, you should be trying to fix what causes like 99.999% of them (the system) and then if there's still any that happen well you can target the individual responsible, as normal, because criminalizing a whole group of people for 1 persons actions is (again) bad and (again) you wouldn't do that to cis people even though MANY more of them are rapists than trans people.
I mean, I don't think I'd be that bothered, though I do think it might be a difficult concept for someone that young to grasp (social constructs like race, gender, etc, especially ones with major societal conflict can be difficult for someone that isn't even really aware of their own biology). I'd skip being annoyed and just make the choice to leave the book for when your kid is older and more likely to understand what she's actually learning if that's what you feel is best. You have to remember that as a parent you have some control over what your child is exposed to, but not all because she exists in the broader world the same as the rest of us. Trying to clamp down too much will only confuse her, so if one day she comes home asking about gender because someone at school, or at the grocery store, or where ever mentioned something, bring out the book, explain as best you can and accept that she's going to have to know these things eventually. You don't actually have to know biology to understand that sometimes people's appearances don't match what you expect from them. Stick to kid-friendly explanations and let her explore the world as it comes. That's my general philosophy anyway.
@RyanK9b I mean, maybe to you? Personally I don't relate all that well to gender, so I don't really care enough to be confused if that makes sense. Like, you want to tell me you prefer acting masculine over feminine and that's what makes you feel comfortable and happy? Sounds good, makes no difference to me. If you've got to learn someone's name anyway, what do I care if the name you give me now isn't the name your parents gave you at birth?
If you don't bother you tolerate this shit. Then they can grow even more like they did. Its all the fault of people who said just leave them be, now we have the crazy fuckery with trans Ideology in kindergarten, schools, sports etc.
@007kingifrit I mean. What do I care who someone else chooses to be? Your sex doesn't really determine anything other than your general capabilities in terms of reproduction and the exact hormone cocktail that's running through your body. And seeing as neither of those things in anyone else are my business, I don't care and I'm happy to tolerate.
at the core of your comments is a misunderstanding of the fact that sharing a society with others means that ALL of their actions affect me.
the rape rate in female prisons has skyrocketed because of this young women are losing scholarships because of this but above all the sciences are decaying into religion which always results in genocide because you are letting fanatics wear the skin of legitimate institutions as a cult takes over academia. these rainbow nazi are dangerous and suppressing and destroying their ideology is the only way you aren't going to get killed
I think education about sexuality, morality, and sociopolitical beliefs is the SOLE province of the parents unless they specifically authorize someone else to assume that role. I would feel annoyed, too, and would find a new nursery/kindergarten!
Tbh all it does is remind me about Hitler we spent a year in school learning how he rose to power, and the No1 thing he did was start with the kids and get the kids to be secret police and report on the parents, who were then tortured and killed.
10.6K opinions shared on Society & Politics topic.
i think it is inappropriate to give it to a child without checking with the parents first if it is ok. i personally would want my children to read that kind of thing (in the picture) because it seems very tame and surface level but does help to open a child up to possibilities without pushing an agenda.
but yes it's fair to feel annoyed. people shouldn't gift kids certain things without getting the OK from the parents
I think you're wrong in this. It's a children's book and it's written in a way that children will be able to grasp the concepts. Introducing these topics early on in life paves the way for progress, acceptance, and openess of those who may be different than us. Your child will learn about transgenders a good decade earlier than I did, and likely almost two decades earlier than you did. Kids learn all about George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, MLK, so what's wrong with also teaching them about the different people in our society that they will eventually encounter?
You realise I'm 26 right, and also that I didn't learn about transgenderism two years ago? I knew it was a thing around 13/14, and met my first and only trans person at 18. We became quite close friends and not once did I think of this person as a trans I just treated them like every one else. And I was never shown anything, school never mentioned anything and yet I've always believed if someone wants to do something, let them do it, doesn't mean I have to too. This doesn't mean I want my daughter to think if you're not happy, that means your the wrong gender, there could be any number of reasons to why that is. I also don't understand why there can't be feminine guys and musculine girls, why if your feminine you must be a girl and vice versa.
As for history it's normally a few select kings and queens Henry the 8th, Elizabeth the first, bloody Mary, queen victoria, then onto Romans, Greeks and Egyptians, then the slave trade and WW2 and Hitler's involvement. there's a couple of lessons regarding MLK and Rosa parks, but most things are about the Holocaust, and the recession and hyperinflation between the wars.
You are not bigoted and your angst is totally justifiable. I'd feel the same way if I was in your shoes. Frankly, it is pointless to teach kids about something like transgenderism until they reach the age that they start asking questions about it.
Consider taking the book and donating it to a library or something. For instance, libraries often have book return bins so people can return books when the library is closed. These look like old USPS mailboxes. Just dump the book in the library book return bin. Let them deal with its fate.
Kelly Allen is a queer autistic writer, often found with her head buried in a book or getting lost on a long rambling dog walk...
Zoey Allen is a transgender singer songwriter who loves being creative. She also runs the blog and social channels for Our Transitional Life, an insight into the life of a transgender woman and her family, challenging the misconceptions of society."
I am not defending the book, but I am not against it either. This book is basically a true story told from the child's perspective in which the father transitions to female. There are families like this - I know one, but the kids were older when the father transitioned a few years ago. So, for a family in which the father transitions while the child is very young, this book can be helpful.
In YOUR case, I don't think you receiving this book was helpful or useful for your family. The person who sent you this book should have 1) asked you about it and 2) before that, done their homework like I just did learning about the truth behind this book.
@007kingifrit It shouldn't be destroyed at all. It's just not appropriate for her family, but it is appropriate for some other family somewhere.
As to the book being "unethical as other children might see it", that's really a non-issue. I really wouldn't worry too much about that given everything else in the library.
I am a first grade teacher in NY. we received a new set of books … after reviewing the content. We agreed as a grade to throw out the ones they snuck about such topics. I love teaching and I love children. I do not like politicians trying to control me and evaluate me to be their puppets. i, as a parent is taking the extra time to reteach my teens that they are with me and be educated by me regarding their strong family value and to continue our family tree of love and unity of one man/one woman makes a family. social media doesn’t have a place to brainwash my kids to be confused and weak. I am so upset you received such book for your child. Where did it come from? my son love papa pigs at that age…yes kids at that age till 18-20… is still our responsibilities to teach them these important family values. Good for you!
Of course you can feel annoyed. If it helps to reassure you, I'd be not only furious make putting in heavy complaints to both the people who ran the education facility and the people who govern them. Its nobody's place to use school systems as a place to push an agenda or an ideology, especially one not sanctioned by the education board. Yeah... I'd be furious and given that everyone got a different book, I'd hope it was just an honest mistake, that one of the staff went out and indescriminately grabbed a bunch of books from the kids book section.
unbelievable how society has repositioned all this to make you feel like the bad person.
Burn the book and tell them what you just said about not now, when they are older. Also tell them you are raising her straight. Who has the right to give that book to them, what a slap in the parents face.
If they have children, I'd send them a homeade porn video... sarcasm.
You can save it for when your child’s older, if you find it appropriate at all. They will be figuring out about what transgender means eventually, may as well get the information accurately and through a person they trust. That’s good parenting. I agree that 4 is quite young to learn about this topic, but inevitably they will want to understand what their classmate means when they say they are Trans.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
9 mo
'But I almost feel wrong about being annoyed about this. I know if I were to say to the nursery they might say I'm bigoted etc I just feel trapped. '
This is how they need you to feel so they can continue with Satan's corruption. Deception is the key... and the children are their easiest target. I wouldn't be donating that book as abc3643 suggested though... I'd be burning it and rebuking it in the name of Jesus!
Not sure why people care soo much about transgenderism. Whining about cultural wars will never improve your life. Life is about getting higher in life and travel to new places
I honestly didn't until I felt like I saw it everywhere, people should be allowed to do their own thing without being bothered. But again I can't deny there's been a massive surge in the last 5/10 years, and many people who have untransitioned, who pretty much all state the influx in media and school made, them think they were the wrong gender.
I think people should stay from cultural war and worry about their own lives. Whining about cultural wars will not make you $$$$ or get the best healthcare
genderism is a sick and evil religion that mutilates children and tells people they can "transition" instead of fixing their true issues. it is morally right to hate such evil people , and morally wrong to not care.
Don’t let society tell you it’s wrong. You are entitled as a parent to raise your child as you see fit. You’re not a bigot, a transphobe, etc. you are a mom with what seems like a grounded foundation. Embrace it and don’t let the hate you’ll receive destroy your resolve. Stand strong. I support what you are doing.
There’s teaching to accept people that are different, but at that age- it’s purposefully confusing and manipulating children into making decisions they can’t possibly make as children. The teachers pushing this on their students are doing so maliciously. I refuse to believe it’s as innocent as they pretend it is when they get caught. I would pull your child out before they can accuse you of not “affirming” your child’s gender and try to involve CPS.
Yes you are allowed to feel annoyed that your 4 year old got gifted a book about transgenderism, The person who 'gifted' the book has shown rank disrespect to you as a parent, they should have at the very least consulted you, I'd seriously consider cutting off all contact with them, as the have shown that they no respect for you, and you should get in touch with other parents that this person know to see if they've pulled the same stunt with their children.
you are allowed to feel anyway you want, you are the parent it is your child. children cannot understand this at that age they cannot even grasp the concept of up and down, smh
As a parent you have every right to be much more than annoyed about the school grooming your 4 year old. These people have an agenda and they make it a priority to target children.
It's so crazy nowadays, I remember seeing the British flag before with some friends. The comments from them were shocking 'what are they trying to prove', 'why the f*** would anyone celebrate living here', 'this country is a load of shit' 'how misogynistic do you have to be to have that flag' and I said people are trying to be proud of where they live, cause they have their family they own their own house and not living in fear.
It's the same whenever the footie is on and you see various people hang the England/Scotland/Wales/ NI flags. The first thing people would say is why even bother supporting them, do people really think that we're going to win.
We already had a talk about this at our kids school considering 99% of the school are Muslim children so luckily I don't have to worry about these types of things happening.
I'd burn it in front of the person who gave it and end the friendship. My son's 4. My friends, including his kindergarten teacher, know not to mention the subject in front of him.
