I think I have depression but im scared of losing everything if I seek help?

[Anonymous]

I've always struggled with my self esteem and confidence with being dyslexia I feel stupid and ashame of myself all the time. I think everyone around must think I'm a useless idiot and I've even been told I'm useless by many people which has hurt a lot when all I do is try and be kind towards others because I know everyone is going through stuff.

I don't like talking about feelings or emotions and I just bottle take it out on myself and tell myself I'd be better off dead and that I don't understand why my partner stays with me and that he deserves better.

My work life is the main source of my depression everywhere I've worked I've never been good enough or treated badly and it makes me regret not doing well in school because of my dyslexia and the life choices I made.

I stay in bed crying alone when my partner is not around because I'd rather he not see me that way. Life is just so hard atm I've lost so many people in my life who I loved and I feel like I'm never gonna succeed at anything and I've let everyone down.

I don't want to be one of these people who puts medical lables on basic human emotions but I've been like this for years like I can't keep going on anymore and that I hate my life the only good thing in it is my partner. I feel as if he's the only one who genuinely cares.

My partner thought it be a good idea 5 years ago when we met to take me out clay shooting with him on a date and i discovered I was actually really good at it in fact I feel its the only thing I am good at and people don't understand how much that means to me.

my trainer decided he wanted me to go competitive. Its been my light in the darkness and the only thing I'm proud of but if I seek mental help that's all gone. If you have a record of mental health your gun license will be taken away.

I don't want to kill myself because of my partner I have thought about it I won't lie I think about it a lot but I wouldn't shoot myself I'd want to go out much more peaceful than that

[ManOnFire]

Wow. Really hard situation there. Sorry you're dealing with all that. I understand that you feel like you're really good at the shooting and you like it a lot, and you don't want to lose your license, but you have to weigh your situation and your own personal progress: it only makes you feel good when you're doing it or gives you a good sense of self-esteem to be good at something, but it isn't actually bettering your mental health. Which is what you need, and I'm sure you want.

You might have to make an extremely hard decision based on what will overall really help you. I don't know if you need to go on drugs or anything, but getting therapy would probably help you a lot. Also, don't think clay shooting is the only thing in this world you can achieve. There are probably other things out there you can be terrific at but you just don't know it yet. And things you might even be incredibly better at than shooting.

[exitseven]

I had a friend that was a wellness coach. She told me that depression can be caused by being out of the loop of control of your life. It is the feeling of powerlessness that can trigger depression. Try to figure out whatvit is that you have no control over. It could be a relationship, your career or something else. Try and eliminate or get some sort of control back. You can just pick one thing and work towards fixing it. just the act of working towards something will make you feel better Then you don't have to see a shrink

[Asker]

It's my work everything goes really well and then 2 years in everything goes down hill, I get taken advantage of and lied too and everyone makes out like I'm a bitter person when I speak up.

I feel like my bosses think I'm a idiot and are trying to push me out of my job.

I've been looking for new jobs but everywhere I work is the same. I'm thinking of getting trained in a new skill or going back to school but I don't think I'm smart enough

[exitseven]

Why don't you think you are not smart enough?

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[butterly248]

I have depression. I think it started in 2019, I only got diagnosed this year. It was hard, but it was the right choice.

The doctor will probably put you on meds and recommend therapy. There are lots of support groups online. You aren't alone ❤️

[bededazzle]

you’re seeking help now, aren’t you? depression can’t be managed alone. if you don’t like talking about it, would you consider seeing a psychiatrist instead of a therapist? perhaps medication could be helpful, and you wouldn’t have to talk as much. out possibly a support group? if you like helping others, this could make you feel better. i think you need to try something different from what you have been doing.

[boggboss]

If u don't get professional help this situation won't fix itself so the choice is your I guess give up somthinh u enjoy to have a future with a better life or stay in the situation u have now