This post is not aimed to attack or make anyone feel uncomfortable, but I thought that maybe this will be a good time to discuss this.
Honesty about racial topics can be a hard thing to come by, and not something that many people can speak about easily - but something I wanted to ask the lighter people on here in general (irrespective of race) is if they are actually aware of the resentment and distress that white-centering causes in minority spaces?
For example, I'll share my experience as a dark woman. Growing up as a black woman with a darker complexion I remember finding it very distressing to see people talk about "black women" on the screen and in politics and in music, etc. - because it happened to be that a lot of those black women like Zendaya, Megan Markle and Amber Rose, they never actually shared my complexion or my life experiences.- they kind of served these whitewashed versions of what a black woman should be to which I personally could never really aspire to.
And I know that this is kind of a harsh take, but it really made me feel as if even in my own identity as a black woman - i felt as if dark woman in particular don't even get to be at the center of their own identity only white-looking people get to represent them and be that for them in their place.
So, the question I have for a lot of lighter skin people (black, white, and in between), Do you understand how distressing it is as a person with a darker complexion to have your life be centered around and made to prioritize the comfort of people with lighter skin?
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I am a dark-skinned woman as well. I like to think that I am more like a nutmeg shade; however, the makeup foundation for nutmeg makes me darker than my natural complexion, so I am maybe somewhere around a rich caramel, or truly topaz.
I didn’t grow up in the US, so the beauty standards of the US for mixed or light-skinned women are preferred; however, they do not affect me as much. It sounds like you adopted a mentality of an inferiority complex because of your darker skin tone; therefore, you unconsciously idolize light-skinned women and perceive that they’re prettier. You’re looking for validation from others to acknowledge your beauty, and from other women who choose to embrace their beauty. You, as a black-skinned woman, give the light-skinned person that power, telling yourself that they are better than you because you’re insecure about your appearance. The society that you grew up in has a lot of influence on this on you. The change that you’re seeking for starts within you, not from anyone's validations. It starts by focusing on yourself.
I have never compared my beauty to anyone else; I choose to be confident in my own rights. I don’t give myself or beauty a number, and I don’t seek to compete with other women. I just give respect where it’s due, and I don’t match energies to carry myself lower and sense of self-values for the comfort of insecure characters. I may get inspired by someone’s sense of style and sense of beauty and try to accustom what I wear and appear to feel beautiful in what I wear.
The society I grew in does have colorism’s, I am not denying that, but like I said I don’t compare myself base on exterior beauty alone. I am also a beautiful black woman inside and out!
No one can make think otherwise either if I don’t meet their standards. Everyone is allowed to have a standard. I can’t be everyone standards either…! That would mean my standards are not high enough!
Girl own your Beauty! Find your style, aesthetically and intellectually, and showcasing yourself however you feel like! 🙄❤️ I send roses to you🌹🌹🌹
The conversation you’re trying to convey, is it about racism/colorism? beauty or confidence?
However, these subjects tend to intertwined. I think racism and influence has an upper hands for when it comes to these celebrities you mentioned. Zendaya for example mostly looks pretty with make-up, without make-up, she’s like any regular young Women. However, her confidence and how she carry herself says more about her beauty in my opinion. Speaking up for yourself isn’t always an easy road, don’t force yourself where you ain’t appreciated find your own table.
10- Black female celebrities non mixed.
I think that this response was very involved and kind of a denial response as well.
Just because you don’t feel affected by not being seen, or perceived, doesn’t mean that others aren’t.
If you’re OK with being invisible and not being represented and accurate like then, that’s perfectly fine with you, but don’t try to invalidate other people who have a legitimate concern about that
It’s not insecurity on my part to want to see people who look like me representing my identity - what’s the point of having an identity that’s not accurately telling your story?
It sounds like you’re the one who has problems and actually projecting onto me
Why does your life have to be centered around what celebrities are held up as representatives? Skin tine isn't the only thing that sets them apart. There are many regular people that don't have anything in common with the people they see on tv, in movies, in magazines. These people are there to entertain you, not represent you. They are not representative of what black women should be.
I don’t think this is a preoccupation with skin tone in the way that you’re making it out to be. I think it’s just me reasonably saying that it doesn’t make sense that my identity the one that I’m supposed to look to for guidance in aspiration, and is being represented by people who don’t even look like me, or share my life experiences.
It’s weird to have people who have life experiences so far apart from you representing you, in your place, in your own identity
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