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I'm Latina but honestly fail to understand the logic of hitting kids or being labeled as a quick-tempered.
Having a bad temper in your marriage isn't cute. There is no need to be yelling, acting like a jealous freak nor calling your spouse names. If I'm not mistaken that's actually emotionally abusive. As a mother of a baby boy, if my son was involved with a short-tempered woman, I would be telling him to run, not walk. I fail to understand what's so good about a woman without self-control. Yet if it a short-tempered white or black woman, no one would find that cute. Yet, when it's a Latina they're called spicy or feisty in a funny way. It's not funny.
Secondly, I fail to understand the logic in hitting kids and calling that discipline. Whenever there is a video about a troubled child, several posters keep saying how a Latina mother would quickly solve that because they're not to be messed with. I feel offended as a Latina and new mother. Disciplining and being stern can be achieved without hitting. Why would I hit someone I love? Plus if you hit another adult with a belt, sandle, cord or whatever to ''educate'' that would be assault. I've been spanked with a belt by my father as a little kid and still fail to understand how is that done out of love? It's contradicting to me. When I voiced being against spanking on FB, the hispanic users criticized me and said I wasn't a real, true Latina, that I was brainwashed. I don't think so.
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Actually you'll can quickly find out why some parents choose to discipline with physical discipline, because not all children are the same, some won't listen unless you make them listen and something that never changes is that if you don't discipline them, the world will, which can result in much worse consequences than your lovin spank, I was whooped and I know it was discipline and my love for them actually stopped me from doing many terrible decisions in life.
And latinas are known for that and most even expect such behavior, toxicity doesn't change no matter the race or color of a person but a woman can be feisty and not toxic, because feisty and all they can have a big heart for a man and that where the line is drawn for many, besides there's many men that like that in a woman, it can be so much that they consider it a preference, this doesn't mean you have to be the expected Latina, you make the decisions you believe is best for your situation and if you have a disciplined child that didn't require physical discipline and a loving husband that loves you with your submissive and calm way then that's just perfect, if it's not broken, don't fix it.
I'm very sorry to hear you got spanked and affected to the point you believe it's beneficial. Meanwhile there have been studies proven how it's detrimental for the child's cognitive functions, I have yet to find a single study saying that hitting kids with objects is great.
I'm still trying to find the logic of getting spanked for not getting the right answer on a math homework on the 3rd time my father was trying to teach me, getting chased with a belt (I locked myself in the bathroom, mom had to talk him out of it) for not learning how to operate a remote control and not understanding his instructions the 3rd time or getting threatened with a belt again for losing an expensive golden bracelet my godmother gave me. Even years later, I'm wondering what on earth was that all about? I don't understand the logic to that at all. I didn't deserve it... no one does.
I think if someone has no patience to teach their child a homework assignment and wants to hit... they should do us all a favor and never reproduce. I was already a calmed girl by nature. Plus I hate when people defend that practice because the bibles tells them to do it. That actually makes me more proud to be an atheist.
My husband and I have spoken about our parenting methods and he is like-minded. Neither of us are ever going to use corporal punishment on our son.
I know it's beneficial, clearly everything I said just flew right past your head like a fart in the wind, you aren't understanding because knowing how the people on this website are, you didn't even read it, clearly I meant with more serious things, I'm not going to sit here and explain what I meant for the second time, good day
Ok. Let's agree to disagree. Even if it was for something serious... for example if it were for setting someone's car on fire or hurting an animal and the child is already past the age of exploring around and older; instead of reacting with anger and reaching for the nearest belt or wooden spoon; I would be super worried, looking for the nearest phone, setting up an appointment with a child psychologist and even family therapy. I would be wondering what signs I've missed for it to go that serious. There usually signs first. No child suddenly starts with serious things at random. There is always an origin of where it all started. Have a good day too.
What you do if your child grabs something to use as a weapon and harms another child at school? I good talking too? Ha
Or what if the kid hits you, because they don't fear you enough, I've seen plenty of cases where children hit their parents
You seem to think that discipline is only either hitting with an object or speaking softly and doing nothing. Those are polar extremes and neither of them are healthy. Both are examples of laziness. One relies on getting physical to get your point across because you're frustrated at that moment (letting off some steam) and clearly are at lost; you don't know what to do besides hitting. You simply lost your patience... therefore laziness.
The other of just talking softly and letting child do whatever they want is another extreme. That's a neglectful, permissive parent. It's about having a stern voice and following through with non-violent approaches such as removing their privilege, grouding them immediately, pretending to pack their bag (if they're much older) and making it sound like you're ready to kick them out of the house, load them with chores, make them do exercies, etc.
On the first example of them using a weapon to harm another child at school, I would want to know the full version, why, when did it start, was the other child physically bullying my son severely that he was fearing for his life and felt the need to defend himself, etc. Again, there are early signs of problem at school and those can't be missed.
In the case of child hitting the parent, I would wonder if my son had been overly stimulated during his early infant years. Too much stimulation and letting them have access to a cell phone very early on can cause problems. I would be getting him help. There is obviously a child in serious need of a psychological assessment as that's not normal. Fear isn't the same as genuine respect. If you fear someone, you actually don't respect them.
My younger brother was also raised with getting spanked with the belt by my father. As an adult, he got physical with my father and pushed him hard, flooring him. My father ended up bleeding a bit from that fall. That's an example of how applying fear backfired.
I only spanked my kids once. I wanted to raise them to be non violent.
I've just spoken with my husband our parenting approach towards our son and both came with the same conclusion that neither of us want to use physical punishment on him. I hated when my father used a belt on me (still do as an adult) and he doesn't agree with using an extension cord his mother used on him. He also thinks that like that if it were used on another adult, it would be called assault.