How can an autistic, eccentric person relate to neurotypical professionals in a social group?

[MissSunshine2]

I have always felt out of place amongst people who are neurotypical and conventional, especially businesspeople and I have decided to attempt to join a choir group full of lawyers, doctors, nurses and nannies. The choir teacher assures me that they're very friendly.

On the other hand, while I'm smarter than average (I've been IQ tested); I am a quirky, slightly eccentric person. I've not had any normal partners, jobs, or friends. My lifestyle is upper middle class. I know how to act like a lady and dress the part, but I am not used to being around typical, businesspeople with conventional or high flying lifestyles; and I wonder if I will be able to relate to them at all, considering I've spent all of my life living with my parents, struggling to find work, unmarried without kids and without a successful job. I spent my teens and twenties feeling severely depressed, having panic attacks and being generally mentally unstable, with the wrong dosage of medication. All my boyfriends were dysfunctional and all my friends are eccentric, Autistic people, of which I am one.

[Tamera952]

Maybe by just being yourself, and giving it a shot. A lot of high performing type A personalities with doctorates are usually self-absorbed, and want to talk about nothing but themselves, so keep that in mind. My point being, they might be a bunch of boring dorks, or not worth socializing with in general.

I have read that a lot of autistic people (somewhere on the spectrum) have difficulty with differentiating between projecting ones thoughts or intentions on to others in social settings, and also struggle with being able to read others intentions, AKA ‘read the room’ (so to speak). I don’t know if any of that pertains to you, but it’s worth keeping in mind. Kinda being aware of what you might be irrationally putting on to someone, and paying attention to body language and social cues, etc.

My advice would be, take it with a grain of salt, try to have fun, approach with an open mind, and give it a shot to see if you like this group. There is nothing more attractive to others than appearing to feel at ease, and comfortable in your own skin. Also, like I said, these people’s opinion of you, might not be worth YOUR time, and maybe YOU won’t like them, and it will be their loss! So, don’t lose sight of your own value.
Um, …so go with the flow, and have the confidence to know, that you know, what feels genuine and fun, and worthy of your friendship (I guess I’m trying to say don’t under-sell yourself trying to please a group of professionals or whatever).

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You haven’t even tried talking to them

[RavVid]

Hmmh. I know one mildly autistic person and I get on fine with her though she can be uncomfortably direct & intense at times. I do value qualities in her though I know a majority do just find her uncomfortable.

Sorry to say but I think the burden is mostly on you to relate and it is really that way for everyone. A lot of socialising is really in having a stock routine you run when meeting people. Maybe just observe what works?

[krin_m]

I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. although, it seems to me that you have taken some very positive and concrete actions to conquer it. Hopefully you have a support system (family and friends) and you are now in control. Especially an extremely intelligent person like you deserves all the success and happiness in the world!

[ammar12343]

When I was in the military the best advice I ever got was to not focus on the social aspect. Focus on being extremely good at what you do. Competence leads to respect and admiration. Naturally, people become curious and talk when they see that. I’ve worked with a lot of autistic people in my field, and they’ve always had a lot more interesting things to say. Some people will feel uncomfortable and avoid when you miss social cues though. It’s just nature. Can’t control it.

[Bklynbadboy12]

You do realize the fact that your quirky and eccentric is a good thing the dont make you weird the make you unique and trust me that's a good thing. Just be you and everything will be fine. We interact often and trust me its the highlight of my day

[bubblydoubles]

Masking 😭 otherwise just be you, we’re pretty entertaining & they tend to like that

[Tomislav7]

Nobody likes gays dont forget

[MissSunshine2]

lol well, I'm not gay.

[Tomislav7]

I am,

[MissSunshine2]

I don't have a problem with gay people, so I'm sure many others won't either.

[Tomislav7]

Worry about yourself you autistic bitch

[MissSunshine2]

I'm not worried about you. Why would I be? While you're busy feeling like the world owes you something, (guess what, it doesn't); I'm actively improving my life.

[MissSunshine2]

by the way, sorry to disappoint you, but no one gives a damn about gays and lesbians anymore. It's all about people and their worth as individuals nowadays. The whole attempts to shock people are getting old.

[Tomislav7]

you're very stupid. World owes me nothing, im aware nor do I assume i deserve anything. Go fuck Marko

[MissSunshine2]

That’s where you’re wrong.

[MissSunshine2]

I don’t get why you’re so defensive over a simple question. However, I regard that as being your problem.

[KostasKouvalis]

We can't.