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Do you think there's an ideal age for marriage, or is it something that should happen only when a person feels ready? 🤔🤔🤔
Also, why do people often view men and women differently if they don't prioritize marriage? I'm not talking about those who never want to get married. I mean people who are open to marriage but don't see it as a necessity or the ultimate milestone in life... They believe they can live a meaningful, fulfilling life whether they marry or not.
Why does society often question or judge that mindset?
Why is there so much pressure to marry by a certain age?
Is it rooted in culture, family expectations, religion, biology, or something else? 🤔
18 h
The Pressure to Marry: Where Does It Come From?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
19Opinion
Hello 👋🏼
I wish I could print out your question so I could read it again and again instead of trying to memorize what you asked.
I can feel that you are feeling pressure from someone or several people or you wouldn't be asking about it.
I must start by saying that you didn't mention God in your question. I believe in God and I believe that God created us. So, for me, that's where it started.
We need to mention love in this question as well, because that's also where it starts.
I believe that in the olden days, girls were expected to get married at an early age, and if they didn't, they were calling 'an old maid.' So, there was a lot of pressure to get married back then.
But let's start with how it happens. It shouldn't happen by a certain age, but rather when and if you find a special person and the two of you fall in love.
If that does happen for you, then you would want to be with that person and share your lives together. You could get married, or not. But we are talking about love here. And love happens when it happens and age doesn't play a part in it. And some people never find love and they still have a life to live, so they make a life for themselves without love and marriage.
Love and marriage have been with us since the beginning of time. A big part of marriage is to have children and keep the human race going. For some people, this comes naturally when they get married. For others, they prefer not to procreate.
I believe that it all comes from the desire in your heart and not from outside influences at all. It's all a personal decision. Since it's a personal decision and it's your life then there shouldn't be any pressure.
As for me personally, I always wanted to be a Mom since I was about 6 years old. I wanted to fall in love, get married and have a family. That was my dream. And all of that did happen for me, but it came from the desire in my heart, not from outside influences.
I don't know who is pressuring you to feel like you have to be married by a certain age, because you have to find someone special first, which you cannot predict when or if that will ever happen.
Listen to what your heart tells you and not what other people tell you. All of this is a personal decision for your life and not anyone else's life. Just yours.
So, please don't ever feel like you HAVE to do any of what society says, and furthermore, don't allow them to be a problem for you. You are your own person who wants to live their best life.
I hope that I have released you from the pressure cooker you seem to be in.
The best to you in all of your endeavors.🙂
I'm not sure it's "society" whining about women who won't comply with marriage and kids. I think it's a small subset of society, namely guys who want to get married and dream of a sex slave / house slave and are unequipped to deal with the word "NO" when spoken by a woman, LOL. These guys tend to whine loudly about how women suck and the world is ending. Which does nothing for their chances of meeting the woman of their dreams. These are the losers in the world of men. Man babies who struggle with lack of success in life in general.
Personally as a guy, I've never spent a second thinking about any woman who opted out of marriage and/or kids. Everyone is entitled to make their own life choices. Like being a teacher or a mechanic. Nor have I ever had any male friends who harped on this stuff. It's just not something we ever think about. But my friends tend to be pretty mentally healthy and successful guys who have "normal" well balanced adult relationships with women.
Don't be swayed by the loud butthurt whining from a small minority of losers who make their own problems in life.
"Why does society often question or judge that mindset?
Why is there so much pressure to marry by a certain age?
Is it rooted in culture, family expectations, religion, biology, or something else?"
The answer is that it is rooted in millions of years of nature and evolution. Reproduction is the most important function of any species and obviously essential to its survival. It is as true for humans as any other species. So millions of years of evolution designed males and females to get together and mate and have a strong family structure which is the building block of a healthy "society" (which is just a fancy name for a herd).
As is the case with many successful species individual members of the herd are programmed to put pressure on those who don't want to contribute to the herd's survival and look at them as threats to the herd's survival. That's explains a lot of why certain kinds of behavior by certain groups of humans are so widely rejected by others who are repulsed by that behavior based on their natural instincts.
What is the ideal age to marry? As far as nature is concerned it is in a female's years of peak fertility which is probably late teens to around 30. Nature doesn't care about the fad of the day with regard to what is socially acceptable or not. It cares about survival and making sure that the natural differences in physiology between males and females are used to fulfill their different but complimentary roles in having children and building a strong nuclear family.
There's definitely an ideal age range especially if you want to start a family with that person. I'd say anywhere from around 20 to 30 is the "ideal" time to get married. Not many people have their lives completely together and are "ready" to get married. It's one of those things you just do and figure things out along the way.
That being said, obviously marry when you want and who you want. You shouldn't feel pressured by others.
But I'd say the older you are, the less ideal it is to get married. You can still get married at any age though.
I don't really see such social judgment passed as something individual or chosen. I just see people being a vessel used by tradition and conformity enforcement, cynically described as "dead people voices speaking in your head". Traditions are the backbone of any society, but some people are thinking them through, while some people just enforce them mindlessly whenever they have a chance. It's peer pressure, it's a spectrum and while it has an important social function for societies' maintenance, it can also be quite depressing.
Modernity seems to want us to decipher what good and bad there is in traditions. It's a lot of cognitive work to do but I personally enjoy the task I'm presented with lol
Traditional, religious and societal norms all play a roll in the pressure to be married. So much so that many people will look down on you if you've been with your partner for a long time and haven't tied the knot. Men get it worst of all, I think, as society sees it as him being afraid or unwilling to commit.
There are legal benefits to marriage, but they're not really anything next level.
Myself, I used to be almost opposed to marriage; now I'm open to it, but still not prioritizing it. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years and we're in a great place as it is. We've been living together for 5 years, we both have our careers, we travel frequently, we get along with each other's families, we even game together.
It comes from understanding value of people and relationships.
Anyone can get a degree, job and awards. But being able to marry and build a successful relationship is something that speaks to the soul of character and family.
Few humans are capable of marriage, even fewer are capable of making a family from it.
Thank you
It used to be something that was a net positive and just isn't anymore... and the standards seem to be passed down.
Kind of like women that make money now, but they still expect the man to pay for all the shit. A passed down tradition when shit was a lot different.
I say the smartest people will think for themselves and find what works best for them, the greedy though... they're trying to pick and choose from another time the best things and also have the new best things at the same time. I won't knock it because if you get away with it... good for you. But if you end up alone and single just because you can't have your cake and eat it too... ha! Not my problem.
From my understanding, this is something that’s pushed onto girls because a lot of men care for looks and women are deemed less desirable (young and hot) after 30 so the pre-30 years for women has this happen to them. Guys aren’t desired based on looks so there is no pressure for us to marry
I never felt pressure. It just seemed the right thing to do. I suppose it all boils down to what your generation expects.
True
This has been pushed on woman and men for centuries. I feel like it started with arranged marriages. a lot of pressure was placed on the woman to fine a well to do man to care for them and pressure on the man to marry a submissive woman who can constantly reproduce expanding his blood line. Prime example are royal families
The pressure comes from the government ultimately. The idea being to breed new tax cattle and soldiers. What rancher doesn't want his cattle to breed?
I don't know why people like to exaggerate things... but the pressure to marry no longer exists. Marriage and children are at an all time lows. Pressure to marry was more like the 1990s or early 2000s.
But I believe that people staying single and childless is perpetuating a pandemic of loneliness all around the world. When you have no one to come home to, no one who has your back, loneliness is a natural result.
I never wanted to marry as such. My partner did and, meh, it was nice reason for a party and the exchange of jewellery. It didn't change our relationship.
Society literally fucked up, marriage is personal choice not necessary. ignore them. people need freedom not husband or wife.
You're 💯 on point
that is natural. a lady gets a monthly reminder that another month passed and was a missed opportunity. we want to continue not go extinct so my parents want grandchildren.
No idea. I have/feel zero pressure to marry.
I think it comes mostly from women who want to have someone to pay their bills and have children with them.
From societies expectations that come from tradition and culture
It’s just the old “that’s the way we’ve always done it” mentality
For me it comes from myself. Cause in my family everybody is married all of my siblings and cousins and now its almost my turn to jump the broom
Marriage is an institution which has allowed human beings thrive for tens of thousands of years. "pressure" is because it works.
Societal norms, and desires of fitting in and being happy
From family lot of times.
parents want grandkids to spoil