Why do you need the STATE telling you that you're "in love"?
1 yThere are various reasons why people may think marriage is necessary. Here are some possible explanations:
Social and Cultural Expectations
1. *Tradition*: Marriage has been a cornerstone of many cultures and societies for centuries, with its roots in religious, social, and economic traditions.
2. *Family and social pressure*: Many people feel pressure from family, friends, and society to get married, as it's often seen as a milestone in life.
3. *Cultural norms*: In some cultures, marriage is considered essential for social status, respectability, and acceptance.Emotional and Psychological Benefits
1. *Companionship and love*: Marriage provides a lifelong partner, offering emotional support, companionship, and love.
2. *Stability and security*: Marriage can provide a sense of stability and security, which can be beneficial for mental and emotional well-being.
3. *Personal growth*: Marriage can foster personal growth, as individuals learn to communicate, compromise, and work together.Practical and Financial Benefits
1. *Economic benefits*: Marriage can provide economic benefits, such as shared financial responsibilities, tax benefits, and joint ownership of property.
2. *Health insurance and benefits*: In many countries, marriage provides access to health insurance, pension benefits, and other social security benefits.
3. *Shared responsibilities*: Marriage can share household and childcare responsibilities, making life more manageable.Legal and Social Security
1. *Legal recognition*: Marriage provides legal recognition of a couple's relationship, offering protection and rights under the law.
2. *Inheritance and property rights*: Marriage can provide automatic inheritance and property rights, which can be beneficial in the event of a partner's death.
3. *Immigration benefits*: In some countries, marriage can provide a pathway to citizenship or residency.Personal and Spiritual Fulfillment
1. *Spiritual or religious significance*: For many people, marriage has spiritual or religious significance, representing a lifelong commitment before God or a higher power.
2. *Personal fulfillment*: Marriage can provide a sense of personal fulfillment, as individuals feel they've found their life partner and built a life together.While these reasons may contribute to the perception that marriage is necessary, it's essential to remember that marriage is a personal choice, and not everyone may feel the need to get married. 😊
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Most Helpful Opinions
m 1 y- They could think of it as a milestone in life
- They could think of it as a safeguard mechanism against breakup
- They could think of it as embodying true love felt by their partner
- They could think of it as a socially significant status
- They could think of it as a religious duty
- They could think of it as the epitome of romanticism
- They could think of it as an administrative and financial necessity
- They could think of it as something they owe to their parents/society/tradition
- ...
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1 yIt isn't necessary but it's useful in legal documents such as making health, medical decisions if your or her got involved in an accident or had an illness. No amount of ''but we love each other, isn't that enough'' verbal agreements will give your that privilege if you're just boyfriend and girlfriend.
Secondly, it can be useful when having children. Having children out of wedlock increases the likelihood of the woman ending up a single mother and the boyfriend bailing out. This then gives the woman a harder time in the dating pool since she couldn't get a man to commit.
It's more symbolic in the fact that you're stating your marital vows in front of friends and family. It's a celebration indeed. It doesn't have to be religious vows nor at church if you're not religious. My husband and I are both atheist but we still declare our vows at a municipality and wedding reception party. They're still public vows of commitment. People don't celebrate couple just shacking up and banging each other. If they have no children then they are easily break-up since nothing (other than feelings and words) keeping them together.
Finally, the security that if you've made a commitment to work as a team and support each other during the good and bad times, permanently giving up your desires for others. When it's just a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, you can easily break-up if you're not feeling the initial sparks (infatuation stage), you guys has your first argument, they played a lame prank on you or any other reasons; always having one foot out of the door; just a temporary person. Off course there are divorces but in my opinion I think that should be reserved for only abuse and cheating. I'm all for working it out as a team and growing old with him.
01 Reply- 1 y
Obviously it would be ridiculous to want divorce because they snored too much, everyday isn't perfect and you guys had your first argument, you're not feeling the initial sparks (butterflies in your stomach), you're getting bored of the routine, etc... basically the same reasons people break-up in relationships.
You've made vows and signed legal documents. That shouldn't ever be taken as a joke.
1 yMarriage isn't "necessary." But without marriage, especially where assets and children are involved, you'll end up in court haggling over finances and custody without the legal setup.
Now you CAN set up your legal bits with a lawyer to sew up THAT side of it. And some states have protective laws that work for long-time, "common-law" couples. But many don. t,
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You also want to have legality outlined when it comes to medical issues. If your SO ends up in the hospital and you don't have it spelled out that he or she is in control of your medical wants and needs, a parent could decide to take over everything and ban YOU from even coming to see this person in the hospital.
The parent could decide to cut off life support when you want to wait. If you're legally married, this won't happen.
The state has an interest in children getting the care and support they need from their biological parents, and getting the assets and care they deserve from working parents. And if one partner has been providing time and care of the home, the state has an interest in awarding that partner compensation for the amount of time that partner did not work: what their time supporting the other partner was worth over the years they were providing those services.
The state does not tell anyone they're "in love." The state is involved in having children and a non-working spouse cared for when the children are minors and the spouse's services supported the working partner. The state is also invovled with who gets custody and keeping the household as close to the situation that minor children have been raised in previously to a permanent marital separation. until they reach the age of majority.00 Reply
AI Opinion
AskAh, love and marriage, a classic debate! I'm here to sprinkle my flirty expertise around. Marriage can be a sweet, sparkly symbol of commitment and stability for some, like that final puzzle piece. 🍰 While you don't need *the state* to confirm your love, marriage offers legal benefits and social recognition. It's about partnership goals and shouting "we're in this together!" It's not everyone's cup of tea, though. Love's a rollercoaster, with or without the paperwork—just enjoy the ride! 😉
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Asker1 yBut that's my point. There's no reason you should get married, other than maybe a few financial benefits.
Why do you HAVE to be married?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
23Opinion
That's kind of a basic take on it. I've heard it my whole life. But the truth is that if you're planning for a family and such it's best to have a united front in an official capacity to support a sense of family unity and values while also facilitating things like taxes, etc.
It's when one marries for a reason OTHER THAN mutual love with the intention of building a family that the institution becomes warped.
It's also been weakened by cheaters and other feckless activities that make the act and process of getting married into a kind of charade rather than the beautiful, meaningful unification of souls and hearts that it was initially meant to be.00 Reply- 430 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
1 yI don't think marriage is NECESSARY, but it is a useful way to formalize a relationship between two people, giving that relationship certain legal, moral and economic privileges.
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1 yI don’t accept that people do think that way.
It’s not motivated by the state , Marriage is a loving union and a commitment. Being a traditional approach to relationships and life order its meaning and value also transcends generations. Having and raising children is also simplified by the union. Legal status , taxes etc additionally can be benefits. These reasons and so much more besides can and do make it sought after and cherished while it also being generally accepted as the “norm”
But it’s not and would never be ‘necessary’.00 Reply
1 yPeer pressure. Society in general and religion specifically use marriage as a control mechanism to get the monkeys in the zoo to behave like more evolved animals. The thought is that a family structure will temper the worst instincts of the masses and make us more docile and controllable.
Think about what the world would be like if there were no legally binding agreements that obligated people to husbands/wives/children. No property laws. Etc. If they have nothing to lose people will do some crazy shit. If they do have something to lose, it usually makes them think twice about their decisions.
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Anonymous(45 Plus)1 yMarriage remains a good platform for a long term stable engagement needed to raise children. Children from such stable, two parent arrangements do better as adults statistically.
But it requires constant maintenance and many people nowadays lack the ongoing commitment.
Unfortunately next to nothing in society, legal, and government helps support this institution making it more difficult to sustain in a world where living your best life seems to be the prevailing message.
Yet with children or without, there is much to be said about someone who knows you intimately and whose future is bound to yours over a long period and is committed to support you emotionally, financially and/or physically as you age and your youthful friends spirit away to their own lives elsewhere and maybe your health isn't what it was.
But is it necessary? No, singletons can do what they like. You can raise children successfully without marriage too. So the choice is yours.21 Reply
Asker1 yExactly. That's my point. why do people THINK it is
1 yThe reality is that current marriage laws (alimony, child support, etc) create an incentive for weaponization. The laws remove accountability from women and forces the responsibility on men.
What most people don't understand is that men will naturally take the responsibility provided the system is fair and balanced. The current system is anything but fair.
Remove the mandates of alimony, hold women accountable for their roles and you will see a dramatic increase in the number of men willing to take on family responsibility.
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1 yIt shows you are full in and completely serious with your partner. It shows you are saying yes, you are my person until death do we part.. it proves you aren't just gonna get mad and walk out one day.. it means you will try your best to work things out with this person until one of you dies.
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Asker1 yTry telling that to the over 50% of people who have divorced
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Well that is why you make sure the person you marry is worth marrying and you are compatible for the long haul..
Asker1 yThere's no "full proof" way to meet someone you think you'll be with the rest of your life.
My aunts got remarried, to new guys, or well, two of them did, one is still sep. and is currently single. But that's my point. You can't just predict what you'll be with- 1 y
Yeah and how long did they wait to get remarried? You don't just get married because someone asks. You really see how you both act with one another especially when mad or in bad situations, it's a good indicator. Living together for 2 years is usually a good look into to how life will be and obviously you will see how the person is. Do they keep promises or do they break them often? Do they keep their word.. many times people show many red flags and yet they still marry the person and wonder why they ended up divorced.
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If you really love your partner then you should also know the detriment of marriage. You think it's impossible to do all of those things without marriage because you think a guy who refuse to get married just don't trust his partner. Anyone can also argue that a girl demanding her partner for marriage don't trust her partner. You can divorce if you choose a wrong man and get all his benigits but men don't have the same luxury on divorce if they chose the wrong women.
- 1 y
@Aiko_E_Lara Don't marry a bitch who wants to take half.. That is why you see how they behave when mad at you.. Also just don't sign the divorce papers and leave there isn't a hole lot she can do and make sure you don't get served lol
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*whole
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Just like how if you complain about guys refusing to get married, then don't date an asshole that is if you like to say that not all girls who want marriage are bitches then it is the same for guys which not all of them are assholes for not wanting marriage. Guys don't even need to sign the divorce paper to lose almost everything because of the court biasis.
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https://youtu.be/zO9nUBazWEg?si=khdvEBdaFAgq-4We Even if she isn't a bitch, there's still a chance that she can become one slowly but surely due to the biases society have for women. So if it's so selfish for men to not get married, then why is it not selfish for women who wanted marriage? Because he's going to waste her time? That can happen both ways even if they aren't married couples.
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@Aiko_E_Lara Yes, but I'm not the one who needs to care since if a guy never wants to get married that is his right. I just wouldn't date him and I'd find someone I am compatible with that wants marriage eventually. There is no need to complain, just find someone who doesn't care about getting married or having kids.
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Then it that concludes it's just pointless at all and you only feel like it's necessary. There's no objective reasoning you've given.
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Unless you'd admit you just want the benefits of it disregarding the detriment of the guy you wanted to married.
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@Aiko_E_Lara I don't see it as a detriment to him since I am not greedy, I never have been. But if a guy expects me to have his children I at least expect a ring and his devotion since look how men on here talk about single mothers and how they won't date them because "they are trash/whores and its their fault for not picking better men." "I would be retarded if I picked up some guys saved game" If I divorced my husband I would leave him be, since I don't really care all that much how my future plays out.. I just go with the flow most the time. I don't know why you are complaining about marriage since if you don't want to get married than don't, no need to make a fuss lol
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That doesn't remove the risk the husband is willing to take despite you being not greedy. That doesn't change anything about how the marriage system work even if you choose not to be a greedy bitch. You still have the option to do that while the husband doesn't. If you don't know why I'm complaining about the system the you don't know why girls are complaining about why guys choose no to get married. I'm pretty sure you yourself would complain if your boyfriend decided to change his mind about marriage. No one is immune to that.
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@Aiko_E_Lara Yeah I would complain because he wasted my time.. but then I would dump him and move on, it's life, so nothing is certain. I want kids eventually so marriage is kind of necessary for that to make sure the kids are taken care of and I don't want to risk having to be a single mother, but guys seem not to care about that risk for us and how detrimental and shitty society looks down on single mothers.
- 1 y
Then there, you complained. But unlike you, I don't have to ask because it's valid. Last I checked, you can opt out of parenthood and but your kids in adoption if you're a struggling single mom or you can claim who the father is while the guy has to do everything to prove he isn't for a month or else he'll be the father and sued for child support. And as a woman, you are allowed to adopt. There are qualifications of course but you're still allowed to do that. Single men can't. I know it can be hard for you if you know you're not that evil but those options are still present.
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Oh I guess they changed that and guys are now allowed to adopt. But you don't get called a pedophile for being with kids.
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@Aiko_E_Lara Yeah but again that isn't my problem since I don't run the government you are bringing up shit that have nothing to even do with marriage now.. And as for being a pedo no one is gonna call you one for being with your own children lol.
- 1 y
I'm not saying it's. I don't know you so I don't assume the worst in you and I don't also assume the best in you. However, if we're talking about marriage here, I'm talking about it's dark side with very little benefit to the other and you wanted marriage. So that kind of reflects you.
If no one is gonna call a guy pedo for being with their own children like the single dads then no one is gonna stigmatize you for being a single mom. - 1 y
@Aiko_E_Lara Yes but what is your point for commenting on my post? You are just complaining about things no one can control. If you don't want to get married then don't. Plenty of other guys who will get married and not complain about it. Maybe not in North America but other countries dudes are very willing lol
- 1 y
To bring awareness of what marriage really does. Another point would be if I can't assume who you really are then I'm sticking to the topic. Not just you but what people wanted can reflect who they are. You may just be unaware of what marriage can actually do which is why you wanted it but now you know, you just simply don't care. That kinda implies something unless you wanna think it through. Or if you're not from America, maybe from a country that has a more equal marriage system, then it's all good. And that's why guys in other countries are fine with marriage.
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But America is not even the only countries that have an unequal marriage system.
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@Aiko_E_Lara I'm from Canada.. So yeah you guys seem to have it worse. But I don't see an issue with marriage because I know how I am and I wouldn't even take the house or kids if I was a stay at home mom. I would just leave and let him keep it all even the kids because I would just start over because I have my parents and other family to fall back on for help getting back on my feet lol. If one thing fails I move on to the next thing I don't like to bother with the past. I don't see it as an issue to get married because I won't cause an issue. I also do not care what other people do, if they don't want to get married that is their choice but this answer is only regarding myself and no one else. No one has to get married I personally just want to get married if I want kids.. If I don't mate with a guy there really is no need to marry him because if we break up it is just easier for each other to go our separate ways and not be tied down to the other. I also wouldn't be in no long term relationship with a guy so against marrying me tho because it shows how he see's as a burden and untrustworthy.
- 1 y
Lol guys who don't wanna get married are just smarter. If you think they're just untrustworthy just because they don't wanna get married, you're just gonna over look the other effort they do like what married men would do to keep his wife from divorcing him because all that's in your mind is marriage. It would sound more like you're only after the title of being "married" because it's not impossible for guys to be loyal without marriage.
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@Aiko_E_Lara That's what you think but I just see it more as men being cowards and not willing to commit to someone and not believing in them. It's pussy behaviour like leaving one foot out the door.
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Then I just exposed your true color lol. The fact that you don't care about marriage being so one sided and you really wanna pursue that just proves it. You wanna call men selfish for not wanting to get married and make all the reasons about you and how they should care for you and trust you and you don't wanna question what your selfish reason why marriage should be mandatory for you.
- 1 y
@Aiko_E_Lara Men are more likely to lie and leave you high and dry. As they say we hit the wall at 30 so why would I waste what little youth I have left with guys more likely than not pretending they love me? You can say I am selfish that is your prerogative but I see it as a man not trusting his woman and putting full faith into the relationship. I don't care it is one sided because I don't need some broke faggots money I can get my own. You do you and leave me alone since you won't change my opinion on the matter, sorry i don't empathize with broke guys so scared of being divorced.
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I can easily say the same for women being likely to leave. In the end, those statistics are only based on what's addressed but we all know that the sympathy gap is real that could leave some guys having issues being left unaddressed and that includes guys being left out high and dry. If you wanna generalize guys saying women hit the wall at 30, it's basically thesame for women having standards for guys like if he's broke, he's not attractive even if he's not on his 30s. So that means guys can simply hit the wall before they can even hit that age. Just telling me to leave you alone while you have strong opinions about marriage is not how debates work. In the end, this isn't even about a matter of opinions but I'm speaking facts about marriage and how it reflects marriage supporters. If you're telling me to leave you alone now, that just means you just simply wanna dismiss the facts and continue to get comfortable with your own ignorance.
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@Aiko_E_Lara Yeah did you not read "I DON"T CARE" lol If I cared that broke dudes can't afford to get married that would mean I am open to debate, I am not because like I said I don't care because I can get married if I look elsewhere from stupid American men since I have had offers already. It's not my problem it is only the problem of the men that one divorce would ruin them for life, which is mainly only broke men lol.
- 1 y
Ofcourse I know you don't care. You're not gonna change your opinion doesn't really change the facts. Even rich men are smart and try to not lose 1/3 of their money due to marriage. And that's what made some men rich in the first place. They learned from that mistake.
- 1 y
Also with the fact that you don't care, that also means you just don't care if that guy is not broke and you'd overlook all the other effort he's done just because he didn't agree to get married. If you don't care and just call guys a pussy for not making that commitment then you don't care about the facts which makes you more of a gold digger.
- 1 y
@Aiko_E_Lara That doesn't make me a gold gold digger because I want serious commitment it's not my fault men think their only worth is money.
- 1 y
I'm not saying it's a fact you are one but it's more of a theory but of course with the facts to back it up. And it's also ironic when you think that your age is your only worth
- 1 y
@Aiko_E_Lara If I want my own children it is my worth.. I won't be able to have my own after a certain point.. and I will not adopt..
- 1 y
If you already have a boyfriend agreeing to marry you then you're just super lucky and very well privileged. If not then you're going to need a better luck and maybe some more time for you to realize that those marriage contracts are just piece of papers for the government to take control of your life when you can make your commitments more personal without involving them. I don't confuse it with weddings however which is a social gathering to celebrate your commitment.
1.2K opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. Damn, we never married thinking about what some state thinks. If you are going into marriage with that mindset, just don't get married. You have missed the point completely. Marriage is a way to publicly declare your love and commitment to your partner.
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Asker1 yAnd there's a reason to do that?
Asker1 yThis is why noone takes you seriously hun
1 yMarriage is like a hurricane there is a lot of blowing in the beginning & when it’s all said & done your house is gone. Divorce lawyers think marriage is necessary because if the marriage doesn’t work out that is how they make a living. Love is love nowadays & truthfully from what I see the bond is a lot stronger if two people are just in a relationship & if the relationship doesn’t work out two people just go their own ways.
00 ReplyTax breaks.
School enrollment.
Spousal privileges in court (should you need it)
The system is designed to incentivize you to get hitched on paper
And yes the downside is undeniable especially for men in most cases
But everything can be circumvented with proper documentation such as prenuptial agreements
So if it necessary? No
But is it a good idea? Often times yes00 ReplyBecause it is.
Cohabiting does not have any legal protections for assets or finances like marriage does. You also do not qualify for alimony or child support if you are not married.
You also cannot claim "love" if you are not even willing to register the marriage in a court house.
In other words, not marrying is akin to claiming you're no better than animals staying together to rut and hope for the best.
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1 yMarriage isn't for "the state", its a promise/commitment to stay with a person you love.
Marriage existed long before it was ever regulated by a legal system, and it will still exist long after it gets deregulated.
People do it because they want to, not because its "necessary".00 Reply527 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. Because it shows your serious about that person and wanna spend forever together. I use to not think marriage was important but then I came to my senses when I realized how meaningful it really is to be married
01 Reply- 1 y
Even more fun to do things behind your spouse's back though
1 yMarriage is the ultimate commitment, the one you can't just break off.. There used to be a point where the state wasn't involved much in marital affairs at all, and thought that it was only between the couple..
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Asker1 ySo why did the state get involved?
And why do we see so many divorces these days?- 1 y
Well, the regard for the institution has lessened overall unfortunately.. It's really when they started to make divorce easier for women that the downfall came..
Asker1 yEasier for women?
- 1 y
Yeah, I believe that while it was hard for both men and women, women had to have a little more evidence to get divorced..
Asker1 yHow so
- 1 y
I think men only needed evidence of cheating, whereas women needed evidence of cheating, and abuse ir maybe it'sthat they had multiple ways of ensuring divorce 🤔 .. It was different.. I guess I brought up women since they seem to be the ones who use divorce the most..
1 yMarriage isn't something you "need."
And I think you've misunderstood its nature. It's not about the state telling anyone they're in love.
00 ReplyIt offers tax advantages, if one of you makes a significant amount different vs the other. It also offers many people a sense of security or commitment that they don't otherwise feel. Still others feel that it's a religious sacrament. An obligation that they owe their God or perceived higher power.
It also offers the person you care for survivorship benefits in the case of your death.00 ReplyI will not get married again, we will form business partnerships from now on.
It’ll be safer, more respectful, and binding unlike marriage, where people tend to forget their boundaries.00 Reply
1 yMarriage has zippity do dah to do with love and it's all about a civil contract & economic union AND that matters to the state.
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1 yBecause of your lucky enough to find someone who you actually love and you both share a connection that's probably something that you would want to have
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Asker1 yIt's not necessary, if you do truly love each other
Otherwise, divorce wouldn't happenWell I have met couples who have been together successfully for more than 30 years while others who haven't even managed four so I guess it has to do with your luck
Asker1 yThere's no luck about it. You either make it work, or you don't
Well I think the luck comes in when it comes to finding someone who you both have chemistry with because you might try all you want but if the woman you're going out with doesn't care about what you feel it's not going to work
1 yMarriage, furthermore wedding bands signify to God and or to others your public commitment to one another
01 ReplyAnother uninformed opinion is State recognizes marriage so that in case of divorce or whatever they can make money over the family separation
1 yThat's mostly women who think it's mandatory because of the amount of benefits they get from it which also determines men.
01 Reply- 1 y
*Detriments men
Anonymous(30-35)1 yi've heard from many people in my life say "for tax reasons"
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1 yBecause it’s a level of commitment that takes effort.
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1 yBecause of tradition. I don’t see the need to get married.
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Anonymous(45 Plus)1 yIt's less popular these days
I think marriage, speaking for myself, is helpful for the children if and when they arrive03 Reply
Asker1 yI know lots of successful single parents
Opinion Owner1 yOh Jesus
Opinion Owner1 yI'm not sure what your point is
Marriage vs non marriage still presumes there is a couple yes?
Now you're suggesting no male person?
Assuming by single parent you're taking about a single mother
I do wish you would be more specific when you write your question
If a woman wants marriage, she is a thief.
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1 yIts up to each
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1 ybecause of money and security
10 ReplyStrength of a Titan comes from woman in your life
02 Reply
Asker1 yNot necessarily.
1 yIs fucking shit for men
11 Reply
Asker1 yExactly
Marriage ISN’T NECESSARY.
00 Reply735 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. people are brainwashed, that's why
00 ReplyTax and you belong to each other like a pet.
01 Reply
Asker1 ySo why do it then
412 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. Nope
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