How to act when an ex invites you to party?

[Anonymous]

So if someone that I used to date and haven't really been on speaking terms with for a while invited me and my friends to meet up with him and party this weekend after the football game, how do I act? I haven't really forgiven him yet and he sort of owes me an apology, but I still want to gradually let him back in and give him another chance. However, I know that an apology or serious conversation isn't going to happen in that environment. I know I should probably just wait til we can talk, but I don't wanna risk losing my opportunity. The problem is, I don't want him to think that just because I showed up and he was nice and bought me a few drinks that everything is fine. I was thinking about just not talking much and being kind of stand offish to show him that I'm still angry but I don't want to end up turning him of by being a buzz kill. I also thought about just focusing on my friends and paying him no attention, but that makes me feel like I'm just avoiding the situation. How should I act to let him know that I'm still angry but that he has a shot if he's willing to work for it without actually saying it? I don't wanna be a complete bitch and make him wonder why he invited me to begin with, but I want him to see that he is going to have to work to fix things with me. Any advice?

[JohnScofield]

face palm... girls are so difficult to understand at times. I have read the above and your reply to the answer below...

I suspect this IS his way of trying to apologize. So if you go, you have accepted it. SO you need to talk to him before you go and try to sort it out, THEN accept. If he won't then you know he isn't going to, and you have your answer and shouldn't go.

Trying to guess and do and play through some weird game is never going to get you where you want to go. I know I sound harsh, but I do not understand the non use of verbal communication.

But hey... what do I know! :-) I wish you well, I really do!

[Asker]

I KNOW its his way of trying to apologize. I want to talk to him and sort it out, but I don't think he's gonna wanna talk about it until he realizes that's the only way out. I feel like he needs to be around me and see how I'm reacting for that to happen. I thought of just saying no but that that just shuts him out without chance to change. I think he could maybe take baby steps to apologizing but I don't think he would just leap into it. If I say no would he try again? I don't see him begging

[JohnScofield]

I am sure you do. However, my point is, that you are hoping by letting him see you do one thing or another he will suddenly realize he needs to apologize. That isn't going to happen. But maybe I will be wrong. Good luck whatever happens!

[TheUglyOne]

You are not obligated to go. Unless there's mutual friends there, or its for a mutual friend, you don't even have a reason to go. Even then, you still don't have to go if you don't want. Politely, decline his invite. If you feel better, you can make up an excuse.

[Asker]

No, but I want to go and I want to fix things with us. I just don't want him to think that just because he invited me out and I went that he's forgiven. I want him to see that he has to do more. I don't want to act so unfriendly or uninterested that he decides it's not worth the trouble, but I also don't want to seem so happy that he thinks its all good. How can I act to show that I'm not over it and can't be won back so easily without discouraging him too much or appearing miserable and no fun?