Am I "lame" if I don't go clubbing or partying?

Question

I am 20 years old. I don't go clubbing or partying. I see a lot of my friends putting a lot of pictures on Facebook and instagram of them partying and clubbing. On the other hand I am about to enter my 3rd year in my business degree currently in summer school to speed things up. I work part time with 2 jobs one as a senior office administrator of a music school and working with a real estate agent. On the other hand my hobbies include constant going to gym after work or uni and photography.

Hence I ask this question because my life is so quiet. My friends on the other hand are often drinking, smoking, smoking weed, getting trouble ( getting into fights in the clubs or after clubbing by random) and strangers who want to fight. They also don't have a direction or goal in life.

Should I even be worried that my life is so quiet? Often I feel excluded as well because they never include me in their outings to these sorting things... And yeah is this a good reason as to why I don't have a girlfriend as well?

thecd1979 · Accepted Answer

You sound like a pretty busy person, much like I was when I went to school. The most important thing is staying true to who you are. Your so called friends seem to be going down a very different path from what you are. They might not say it but I can gaurantee that one or two of these friends of your's looks up to you and deep down wishes they had the disipline and drive to stay focused and do what you are doing.

This loud and crazy life that you might think is cool, is really not all that it is made out to be and you just need to see it for what it really is. The people who's life revolves around this lifestyle almost always are screw ups with no realistic goals or plans, they almost always are the people know how to party hard and live their life but can't hold a job, pay their bills and who have everyone else trying to clean up their messes. Look at it this way, when you submit a resume to a company asking for a job are they asking for a history of what parties you went to or fights you got into to determine if you are cool enough to work for them? Is the apartment community that you submit an application to to live in going to ask about or care about that information to determine if you are cool enough? How about the utility company that you will pay to keep the lights and water on in your home, you think they care about how cool you might be. I think you not.

jmowen · Accepted Answer

Not at all. As long as you're doing something with your life and have your hobbies and goals, you're not lame. I'm almost like you. I got my 'party days' over with before I turned 20. Just got old fast. Drinking, smoking, random hook-ups, etc. didn't appeal to me anymore.

Those 'friends' of yours. chances are their lives will be crappy when they get older because they were so into their party days that they didn't focus on school or have any goals. Some of them will get a criminal record from a fight and screw up their life. Later in life, they'll regret it while you'll be happy having a good career, raising a family with a beautiful wife who completes you and doing the things you love.

Don't feel ashamed or anything. You're mature for your age which is something very rare to find these days with the media sensationalizing everything (sex, drugs, etc.). You will find a girl who appreciates you for who you are. There are girls out there who don't party or do the things your friends do.

kangaru · Accepted Answer

I would rather have a quiet but yet meaningful life. Like you, I don't do any of what your freiends do and I am very comfortable with it. I know such life is not the kind of lifestyle I would pursue. You have work and studies to juggle whereas they are spending or wasting their time away, so you are good. You may want to find a girl who share the same values and belief as you , they can be anywhere depending on whether you want to enlarge the circle .

Your friends exclude you because they know you are not comfortable with clubbing and partying

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Nope. I'm in college and my life is pretty quiet (I need to maintain a 4.0 so I don't really do parties haha). Plus, I am done with that phase of my life. That's what high school was for, wild parties/clubbing.

I never really liked parties anyway though, so all of this is just an excuse for me to say no when my friends want to go out.

COCOCHANEL · Accepted Answer

i wouldn't consider you lame. parties are not for everyone. I'm not really into the scene either.

WoIIie · Answer

Anyone's life can look amazing on Facebook and Instagram because every profile is selectively biased. Your personal life in comparison can't keep up with everyone else's best because you live in reality, where you have bad days, take dumps, and fail to look glamorous when reading textbooks.

They have their own insecurities and shortcomings as well. You just don't know about them because they aren't instagrammed. Stay the course and you will succeed. With success, opportunity will come.

martyfellow · Answer

NO!  You're being sensible.  The odds of finding a worthwhile partner, or even a friend, at the meat market are really low.  You'll find weird girls, gold-diggers, insecure girls, and hustlers, almost entirely.  They'll regret the girlfriends they find in tsuch places, assuming they can find one...it's prettycompetitive, the girls are usually fewer than the guys, also!

Gravy_Davey · Answer

It is pretty lame I'm in a similar situation and its about getting the balance right. I have spoken to and lot of older blokes and all of them say they wish they had lived more when they were younger so don't write yourself off  just as you are starting your twenties.

koloktos · Answer

not at all. and this is coming from a guy who loves clubbing and partying.

i think since you're fresh out of high school, you still have the "everybody is the same and everybody goes at the same pace" mentality. People are different. Some people like sports. Some people like the arts. Some people club. Other people don't.

Anonymous · Answer

So... how exactly do these people qualify as friends?

Your hobbies may be solitary, and you could probably do with branching out more.

But I don't see how the drink, drug, rave crowd qualify as friends.

Janson · Answer

You aren't lame. People find their own enjoyment in different things. Clubbing can be a little overrated anyways

RedThread · Answer

No I don't go clubbing and I rarely go partying. I prefer a scenario where just a few friends hang out and shoot the shit.

tzdc21 · Answer

No you're not lame. It doesn't make you right or wrong to not go to bars or clubs

CindiluvsFriends · Answer

No because I don't either. of course I'm old enough to be your Mom,so...

greycadillacs · Answer

No, you're not.  Reading books is a good use of time.

Anonymous · Answer

No clubbing in college is so overrated

Am I "lame" if I don't go clubbing or partying?

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