Don't want to go to prom, but girlfriend does. Now what?

[Anonymous]

Well it's clearly stated, but I'll add a little detail. I honestly hate social events especially one at school. I hate them even more when I have to where a stupid tux. It's itchy and uncomfortable then there is the fact the tie feels like it's choking me. I just plain hate wear clothes like that. My girlfriend wants to go to prom, but I don't. To me prom is a waste of time and money. Tux rentals, food, tickets, and everything else that is required. I get a headache just thinking about it. I don't want to go and I just stay home with some video games, pizza, and a few friends who also decided they didn't want to go. I told her how I felt about it all and that she could go with friends and another date if she found one. I trust her not to cheat or anything, but even still she still is trying to convince me to go. Stuck like that isn't me. I don't do crowded social events (Not even with family) and I prefer to have as less people around as possible. I'm mostly a loner with few friends and that's how I like it. Plus I hate more that 75% of the school. And I kid you not, I truly don't get along with a lot of my school.

Go

Don't go

I don't know.

[clarambrosia]

Lol, I refuse to go to prom too. All my friends are nagging me to go but I hate school events and I too hate the majority of the people in my school. I'm planning a trip to go to Mexico with another friend who isn't going to prom and party or go to Korea, solo.
If you don't want to go, don't go. Seriously. I think promo is too hyped, crap food, people you don't like, just lame. Encourage your girlfriend to go with another date. That's admirable of you to trust her with someone. If she wants to go to prom, she deserves to go with someone but if you don't want to go, just don't go. Save yourself the hassle, I know I am and make better use of your time.
I hate how people are saying prom is a lifetime event and whatnot. It's just prom. You wear a fancy tux/dress, take a ton of pictures with your friends and your date, eat crap food, drink the spiked punch and dance to mainstream music.

[clarambrosia]

And to all the people who are saying that's selfish? Why? If he doesn't want to go, he shouldn't be forced to. If I had a boyfriend and he wanted to go to prom and I didn't, I'd let him go with another date but I would get annoyed if he forced me to go.

[Asker]

Thank you for understanding and defending how I feel.

[clarambrosia]

Yeah like instead, make it up to your girlfriend with a special date or whatever. Honestly, pizza + video games sounds like heaven compared to prom.

[lonerider]

you ma'am.. won my heart today :D i wish every girl were sensible like you!

[Asker]

High five to that. My girlfriend is a bit of a gamer as well, but she has her girlish moments.

[Marshmallowfighter18]

Sometimes the relationship isn't all about you. Just go. It's kind of mean not to go with her. Maybe you don't get the point or whatever, but it's important to a lot of girls and it would be extremely selfish of you not to go. It's not as expensive for guys as it is for girls, so don't act like its soooo expensive. My date and I bought our tickets separately, ask her to do that if cost is such a big deal. But a tux, food, a ticket, and a corsage for her is not as expensive as dress, make up, hair, nails, ticket, boutonnière for you (girl buys guys boutonnière, guy buys girl's corsage), purse, shoes, special underwear (sometimes you need a special bra for a dress or something), and anything else she needs. Get off that "it's so expensive" soap box and let your girl have her fun with you on prom night. It's just one night.

[Asker]

Okay first I don't me this in a rude way, but it may sound rude. All that sounds completely pointless especially the special underwear, though I'm a gut and these things never make since to me. So the cheapest Tux rental available for me is $80 plus tax plus the school decided to go all out with this and then each ticket is $40 each. Not joke, my school is charging $40 for the tickets. Girlfriend already told me she doesn't have the money for it and neither does her mom, so I offered to pay since she already had to work her butt off babysitting just to get her hair done and have her mother's old prom dress fixed up, so please don't all me selfish. Then her friends being the fancy girls that they are want to rent a limo. All of that adds up really quickly.

[Marshmallowfighter18]

If she can't or is struggling to afford some of the stuff, that's all the more reason to go with her and let her have her fun, princess night. You guys don't have to participate in the limo. I understand all those things seeming pointless or not making sense, most guys don't understand strapless bras and clutch bags. Just let your girl have her night, it'll mean a lot to her.

[Prettygurl12]

Oh my dear boy, when the girlfriend wants to go to prom, you go to prom! It's really as simple as that. She wants to go to spend time with YOU not her friends or some other date. Prom is what you go to when you're serious. It's not like Homecoming or the Valentine's Day dances. Prom is serious business in HS.

So bite the bullet and take your girlfriend to the prom already.

[Asker]

Yeah not disagreeing with you, but I will say I will never understand this. I'd be one of the many clueless guys.

[Prettygurl12]

Lol just take her to a nice dinner, let her dress up like a princess, show her off, and let HER show YOU off and have a good time.

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

Just go. Its only one night and its not going to kill you , besides your girlfriend is going to hate you if you don't make this the most magical night of her life.

[Asker]

Maybe, but I still don't get the big deal about Prom.

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

People have crazy expectations about it because of movies.

[Red_Arrow]

They are expecting Carrie to show up?

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

Nopes girls just want to like dress up and take pictures and feel beautiful and think its like suposed to be a fairy tale.

[Asker]

I thought Prom was like that movie Prom Night with the serial killer. XD But on a serious note that for not being one of those girls who comments "You're being selfish".

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

Not really. I think prom is stupid because i had the worst two proms ever. but you are also going to break your girls hopes and dreams of having a magical night

[kittyforlife]

Well if you really like this girl, id say buck up amd just go. She (like most girls) has been dreaming of this event for a very long time, and by you going (even though you dont dig these sorts of things) can show her that you really care for her a lot. She won't forget this! If you're not totally in love with her, then stay home. I dont know your girl, but a situation like this could be a deal breaker, so keep that in mind.

[ronnieradkelover]

To make het happy. U shud go, for her. I didn't wanna go to prom either but for my bf, i did ( i was late, cuz i didn't rlly wanna go but still did) nobodys making u go but just kw rhat itll make her happy

[lonerider]

go if and only if she sacrifices her plans for you in the same way. if you two are not having sex, or she gives her friends more priority than you... DONT GO AT ALL..

[Marshmallowfighter18]

So he should only go with her if they're having sex? That's kind of really crappy.

[lonerider]

His level of sacrifice must depend on their level of committment

[Marshmallowfighter18]

Having sex doesn't measure your "level of commitment" that's a bad way of thinking about it. Most relationships are not all about sex. There could be any number of reasons why she might not want to have sex, that doesn't mean she isn't committed to him. Relationships are not all about sex. You shouldn't use sex as a measure of commitment, if you want to have sex in your relationship but aren't then find a different person to be with but it doesn't mean that the person who didn't want to have sex isn't committed or doesn't actually like the other person.

[lonerider]

nice excuse :)

[Asker]

Yeah pretty sure she'd dump me it I started thinking like you do.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Sometimes it isn't about you

[AmongTheApples]

Suck it up and be a man.

[supervixxen]

Stop being selfish or start looking for another girlfriend. If I was your girlfriend, I'd dump you.

[Asker]

Well good thing you aren't.

[supervixxen]

The feeling's mutual!

[Asker]

Just saying any girl who would just dump guy like that over something so small really doesn't care about the guy. Maybe getting a bit mad and upset I can understand, but just dumping someone at the snap of a finger show you don't care.

[supervixxen]

I'm saying that I wouldn't just *do* that over something small, but from your description, it doesn't really give an indication that you care about your girlfriend at all in this situation. It states almost entirely all of YOUR needs, what about hers? Obviously it means a lot TO HER, you chose to be WITH HER, ever thought about putting that into consideration instead of what you THINK about it? THAT'S what I'm trying to point out to you. And if my boyfriend did that over a relatively *small* situation as you put it, I wouldn't really feel very cared for either.

[Asker]

I'm just going to explain a few things. Two things I didn't point out in my question was that she didn't have the money to buy the ticket so I offered to pay for it as well as her part for a limo her and her friends want to rent. Another thing is that she can tell when I'm faking and then feels guilty because she believes she forcing me to do something. I honestly don't like doing that to her. I'm fine with you say that maybe I should go for her, but calling my selfish and assuming I don't care about her is where I put my foot down.

[Asker]

I want her to be happy, but I just think me going would probably do more harm than good.

[heyworlditsme]

go for her.