So the other night I was on Quora and having a back and forth with some girl on a post about narcissism, and let me tell you that for whatever reason, Quorans love talking about “narcs,” NPD, and other psychological issues when I feel that many of these same users are suffering with those things themselves. Anyway, this girl literally thought it was ridiculous when I told her I don't block people, and she proudly admitted that she blocks lots of people. When I asked her why she thought it was ridiculous that I don’t, she wouldn't really give me a good answer, only saying "You're hurting yourself if you don't." This was truly strange and I did not understand it! The really odd part is that even though we weren't agreeing on this, she didn't block me.
For the record, I do only ever block people who are a serious threat, like persistently harassing me with racist comments, extreme verbal assault, or someone being a stalker. Otherwise I do see it as pointless and stupid to block people, even ones I don't like or disagree with. If you're always blocking somebody you don't like or don't see eye to eye with, it says to me you're not a very strong person and you let others get to you. I also feel like most people want to block anybody these days just because it's there and they can, or because it gives them some sense of control, and I wonder how they feel if someone does to them what they do to others, for the same reasons as them, especially if it happens at random.
Learn to co-exist
Growing up, my mom always taught us to try to live in harmony with the world as much as you can. “Learn to co-exist,” she would say when me and my siblings would have fights. She taught us not to be weak wimps who can’t face people, but to stand our ground and not run from anybody, and to learn to live with people even when you’re not on the same page. This has stayed with me into adulthood, and oddly enough I maintain these values even when I’m on the Internet. Why? Because I’m still talking to a human on the other side of the screen even if they can’t see me and I can’t see them. Most people are flippant and prefer to have the attitude, “Why care so much? It’s just a random person online. They don’t know me and I don’t know them, who cares how they feel?” - and from time to time I too can be like that, but overall I generally regard most people I’m talking to as human beings still. And you never know what somebody on the other end is going through and if you say something that pushes them over the edge in their darkest moment.
This applies to blocking as well. I simply don’t do it unless it is for the severe reasons I listed earlier. Hell, I don’t even block any of my exes. Never have. I’m strong enough to deal with the loss and move on without needing to do that. I don’t even remove people from my circles either unless they’ve been inactive for years and we don’t even talk anymore, or we have some great, big argument that just escalates into all kinds of unnecessary words and attacks, which is extremely rare for me. Otherwise I don’t need to send some passive-aggressive message to a person that says, “I don’t like you” by blocking or removing them from my circle.
What about when somebody blocks me?
Unless I knew this person for years or very closely, like a relative or a lover, I simply continue on with my life! That person has obviously shown me they must not be important, or they have some kinds of issues and just aren’t very strong in dealing with people. If you’re blocking someone for small shit or even differing point of views, then you don’t know how to handle your world and have a feeble tolerance level. Or you’re doing it in the hopes that it’ll piss the other person off. Either way, it says to me you’re not very mature, and makes me wonder how you deal with your real life.
We all have disagreements with others. We all dislike somebody - there are some folks right here on GaG that I don’t like, but I simply don’t keep in touch with them and they don’t keep in touch with me. All good on my end. I don’t need to block them and see no point in it. I personally don’t care who doesn’t like me or who doesn’t want to be my friend - that’s okay, but there’s gotta be tolerance and respect.
A disconnect
Society teaches people that it’s okay to cut others off. It’s okay to suddenly start avoiding people. It’s okay to block or delete friends, lovers, etc. without warning or communicating why, and “you don’t owe them any explanation for it.” These are values of a proud, self-justified mind and ego. Not any kinds of healthy pearls of wisdom. Because these same individuals know very well if all these things were done to them in a shocking instant - especially by people they were close to, they would hate it and feel hurt.
So even though writing about something as unimportant as blocking does indeed seem unimportant, in some sense I feel that it’s a social malady in these times where social media is a common tool with us all, and is a reflection of who we really are when it comes to mingling with other people and how we handle them. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a bad person, but it definitely means you have some growing to do.
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