My boyfriend doesn't want to do Valentines day, what do I do?

Yesterday I asked my boyfriend what he wants to do for valentines day, and he said he is probably going to pick up the shift at work. I told him that that really stinks because I wanted to spend it together and he blew me off. This will be our third Valentines Day. The last two we did romantic things and had a great time. We aren't tight for money, and he doesn't make more working since it is Valentines day then a normal day. We have been really stressed/busy lately with classes (were in college) and I was really looking forward to this. What do I do? Am I missing something?
-btw, before someone says it, he is not going to surprise me. he hates that kind of thing. also, I have told him how i feel and asked him why already. he just blew it off. he isn't big on any holidays really, but he knows i am-


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Most Helpful Guy

  • So, he isn't big on holidays, but did something for you the last 2 years. I say you owe it to him this year to just let it be. Sounds fair to me. Valentines day is not just for women, they seem to forget that. Why not do what he wants this year, which is nothing. Then you guys can do something next year.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel ya. This is my third year with my boyfriend as well, we have yet to spend a Valentine's together (for very valid reasons the past two) but this year he is working also. In his defence, he tried to get the day off but they had someone quit so he can't.

    The past two years, we "celebrated" on different days but he barely did anything/got me anything.

    I honestly just think guys don't see the sentimental importance of holidays like girls do. /: Especially in long term relationships since we already know they love us or whatever, they don't think one day is a big deal. I don't know. Hang in there!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Wow that's really cold of this guy. Guilt trip him into spending time with you Tuesday, seriously he knows you are into this holiday plus stress. What's wrong with this guy? 70%single guys would kill to be in his position

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What Girls Said 16

  • Be cool about it and tell him that someone asked you out on a date and you said yes. Then go out with some friends. He can't counter-attack that. And no sex for at least a week.

    If I learned something about guys, it's that you have to show them how you feel, words usually mean nothing to them. Treat them the same way they treat you: if they are not willing to do something that you want, then you don't do something that they want either. They have to feel what you feel. Also, they hate competition, so if he gets the feeling that someone else might snap you away, he's instinct will probably kick in. You need to show him that there are plenty of guys who'd love to go have you on a valentines day. Good luck!

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  • I think that's very rude. Okay he may not be a huge fan of holidays but you're asking for 1 officially romantic day of the year. Big deal. If he can't do that I would question him, it seems very selfish. He should WANT to be romantic with you.

    Talk to him and tell him your feelings on it. Be strong, don't let him brush you off. There's no excuse to skip it.

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  • You in a way have to suck it up or tell him how you feel. Perhaps he just doesn't feel like he wants to make the day special anymore which is odd because he did in the past however you will never know unless you ask him.

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  • Go out with single friends or stay home and watch movies and eat junk. I personally am not big on huge fancy things and would be one to work on a holiday. But I get that not everyone's like that so I'd think about whether or not you really feel you guys are compatible.

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  • If it really bothers you, and he starts making this kind of thing the new norm in your relationship, tell him that if he’s going to make a habit of disregarding your feelings—this won’t work. Be blunt.

    Make places with some friends. Screw him.

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  • Dump his ass Valentine's day is a day of love , you spend with who you love :$ If he won't spend with you I am sorry but you don't mean much to him.

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  • If you're in college you can't assume he doesn't need the money being in a relationship doesn't mean he tells you everything and if he's not big on holidays isn't it a bit selfish for you to expect him to want to celebrate just because you do? Be flexible get over it

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    • we live together and share all finances.. its not like he is off supporting himself and I'm demanding he give up money.

    • So you know specifically how much he makes per check so how much he has for himself after you split?

  • Not really much you can do as its his choice and he did it your way the past 2 times

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    • but the thing is, it wasn't 'my way' we planned the last 2 together. He had just as much, if not more fun than I did. Thats why I don't get it. :(

    • he's probably getting comfortable then. As he doesn't see the need to spend that time on one day which I get. But if it bothers you tell him. Or plan something yourself?

  • Even if he doesn't want to celebrate it.. it doesn't mean you can't! :) Make him a card, might cheer him up. OR offer your services if he celebrates it with you.. ;)

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  • Awww I am so sorry to hear that, perhaps you can make your Valentines on another day, and make it a special day for the two of you

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  • I'd be upset about it. He could take a shift any other day, why on this special one? I'd keep a close eye on things, because maybe he's trying to distance himself from you now.

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  • I agree with little_bird1. He's being an ass to you. I'd just try to make him jealous

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  • I kind of hate Valentine's day so my opinion probs isn't the best here but I think when you're stressed with work and college, it's a good idea to just relax. He could be stretched too thin with so many responsibilities - ask him and try to understand that this is one day out of the 364 days you have nice romantic day - there are plenty of other opportunities in the future.

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  • my reply would be GOOD we can avoid all the idiot crowds and buy same stuff on sale later BUT WE WILL celebrate another day together! I love you!

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  • Then just get him to have a late Valentine's Day, maybe the week after Valentine's Day both of you take the whole day off and just spend it with each other. That way you both get something you want.

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  • Don't do it then

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