Lidepi
Written By Lidepi
Category Dating

Where Did All The Nice Guys Go?

 
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I see this question posted with some regularity in the many personals sections on the internet and what not, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out quite yet.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were f***ing treated you.
"See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you."

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends."

Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.
"Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life."

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you weren't dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship.

So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life.
Gogus olculeri

He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.


Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.

2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.

3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab a hold of it.

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I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.


So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've f***ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't want you, now.

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Article Comments

  • 4 months ago
    Amen to that. If you don't take us for granted, ladies.
  • 6 months ago
    We never really left, we were just thrown to the side and overlooked and emotionally given the finger.
  • 7 months ago
    "You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating with physical intimacy."
    BULL. SHIT.
    Women aren't vending machines. You can't put in nice coins and expect sex to fall out. What the hell is wrong with a woman expecting a nice guy to be a *friend?* Holding you while you cry, letting you vent - those are all things that girls do for their friends. Even guy friends. I'm tired of women being vilified by so-called "nice guys" for expecting the friendship she f***ing signed up for.
  • 7 months ago
    & this reminds me of Pretty and Pink. God was I jealous of that girl. I never had one of these.
  • 7 months ago
    I'm actually saddened by the fact that I never had one of those.
  • 8 months ago
    It's so simple, so cynical, so zen
    And so true
    I was involved in this type of "relationship"
    I never let it change me though
  • 8 months ago
    This is such an awesome article. Cause it's true.
  • 8 months ago
    "I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you."

    Heh, I guess this is why I am Mr. Cynical toward women... LOL
  • 8 months ago
    I was expecting something truthful in this article because I was led here by one that was but it's not. I think the beginning scenario with the guy going after a girl who was ALREADY ATTRACTED to SOMEONE ELSE was a bad start. I mean what if her current boyfriend did exactly what he did just to get her? See sorry to say but when guys think like this it ends in disaster for them. Putting down their confidence, trying "methods" his friend give him. And fail. Once more.
  • 9 months ago
    i suppose the author expects that just because he is (or was) nice, all women he came into contact with should have swooned for him. not so! I've had some "puppydogs" in the past, whom I didn't encourage in the least. whether they were nice or not wasn't even a factor, I wasn't just going to give my vagina to them. in any case, the moral of that story is that I've never dated a jerk, used someone for attention or regretted casting away incompatible suitors. OP, try not being a puppydog.
  • 9 months ago
    and so you should, as it is ment to be, but you would be a hypocrit if you opened your fat outh about it based on your comments in this section. so LULZ @ You
  • 9 months ago
    6 hours later I actually just thought of something else. Picture a guy and a girl meeting at a party. and them sitting down and talking, after a couple hours the guy realizes that the girl will just friendzone him, the women in the ommentn section would get real pissed off if that guy gets up to go to the washroom and does not return to the girl, instead finds another girl who would be more romantically interested in the guy. the vary girls in this comment section would find that insulting,
  • 9 months ago
    3. I am successful and I do not need some dumb **** riding on my coattails. with how things are going in my life I would never need to buy the cow.

    few weeks ago I seen some girl walking down the street trying to get away from her ass hole boyfriend, crying her eyes out. And the only thing that came to mind is "you made your own bed" thinking about how many nice guys she passed up to get to that ass hole makes me sick to my stomach and therefore impossible to have any sympathy for her.
  • 9 months ago
    I am married to the queen of my world and she has been with me through all my faults. I have never once in my life turned down a girl based on their looks or any such non sense. Having said that, heaven forbid should anything happen between me and my wife I would NEVER date again for a few simple reason. 1. the girls in this comment section are generally the opinion shared by the female population. 2. I seen how girls treat nice guys and it pisses me off.
  • 9 months ago
    I find it funny as hell the women are so butthurt by the truth they try and pass it off as the guys fault.
    Everything the poster had to say is backed up by Objective evidence in first year psychology. Trying to pass off responsibility by saying "you here just as shallow" or calling them "Bitter" is not based in any provable fact and goes to show that these women still refuse to accept responsibility for they're actions and the psychological effect it has on nice guys.
  • 10 months ago
    I've been that guy numerous times and this article is pretty accurate in all aspects, I have become more of an a**hole but only to shield myself from anguish. If you want a nice guy or can't find one then blame yourself, because you probably have already met that guy and are just too blind or stupid to see it. I will however continue to treat women with respect, open doors, buys them dinner, and offer them support even if it gets me nowhere, however, my heart no longer resides on my sleeve
  • 11 months ago
    How many of you girls that are ranting about this article being stupid actually have found that "nice guy" or whatever guy you have been looking for all your life? why when a guy does something stupid its hell for us like when we cheat its all wrong, but when a girl does something stupid and bitches about it we are supposed to kiss your ass and say your sh*t doesn't stink?
  • Over a year ago
    when men almost NEVER feel sympathy for the "desperate" or not a model girl. Well guess what you want someone whos hot and confident and cool or whatever(which is why you were atttacted to her in the first place) she wants the same qualities in her own boyfriend. Its your own fault if your going after the hottest girls and getting your heart broken (lol) your being superficial yourself, and then asking the women not to be superficial. The reason why some women complain about their being no nice men is bec
  • Over a year ago
    This is a really stupid article, and ill tell you why. These so called "nice guys" are just horny men who want to nave the hottest girlfriend that wohuld take him. They don't consider personality at all theyre just going after looks. Well guess what, if your going to go after a hot girl, who is confident then expect her to want the same thing from a boyfriend, not a puppy following her around all day attending to her "needs". It seems like you expect women to feel sympathy for the desperate guy w
  • Over a year ago
    lol so true so true buddy I don't get it either they need to stop being so stupid and stop droping their pants for jerks and save it till marriage and she expect us to be there for her and show empathy and it's either she picks me aka nice guy like myself first or I'm gone and I will be long gong what you think of that I'm not giving her a chance after when and if she rejected me
  • Over a year ago
    Seriously, if they are still in their twenties then they are fine.
  • Over a year ago
    This is a great article. Couldn't agree more. I am working on being more aggressive and domineering with women. I try to be less considerate and less of a gentleman.

    The fact is, that most girls really don't want a nice guy they just say this to be polite.

  • Over a year ago
    A SECRET

    Girls say they want nice guys but don't. The term "nice guy" is a misnomer. The "nice guy" they are looking for and "nice guy" they reject are 2 DIFFERENT THINGS. Women want someone who is confident, witty, outspoken, learns what makes them tick, and is a charismatic who doesn't reveal too much of himself too soon. Women don't refer to this guy as a "nice guy" because "nice guy" has already been used by women as code word for wussy. One who exhibits approval seeking behavior.
  • Over a year ago

    If a girl (or guy) does not see YOUR WORTH, just move on to someone who does. The problem with this article is that the self-proclaimed nice guys are not actually good guys. If a girl / guy has established you as a friend and both parties are very aware that they only see as a friend, they are not using you. Friends mean you support each other. In this case, it seems like you expect acting like friend will get romance.
  • Over a year ago
    Dead on. I am a "nice guy" to friends, but I do act differently if I am interested in a woman.

    I learned a long time ago the hard way.
  • Over a year ago
    I don't think he's whining about all women in general - just the ones who p*ss and moan about not being able to find a "nice" or "good" man. They can, they just didn't want them back when they had their teenage good looks, now that they are aging the positions are reversed - only problem is that guy they passed over has moved on too. He's different, he's married, whatever, just not available. Think of all the girls you know who are perpetually single and ask yourself if I'm wrong about them.

  • Over a year ago
    No... I think this guy is spot on... after being "used" for attention I got tired of it and changed how I behaved. Much of it is psychology and regardless of how you women may argue it... you simply try to dismiss this man's posit because, deep down, you know it's true. Guys and girls love what they can't have and are always seeking validation. Nice guys give it up too easily by being available and accomodating whereas a**holes do not so it draws you to them as a challenge. Behavioral psychology
  • Over a year ago
    Look who the negative comments are coming from? WOMEN. I've had perfectly fine experiences with women - since I changed how I acted. Now I realize this is quite the extreme viewpoint I laid forth, but it was roughly 2 years ago. I was 19 years old and have a different view than I have now.
  • Over a year ago
    "He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be."

    That's what I did when I was younger, at least until I realized I could just be me and still meet girls. I was just looking in all the "wrong places" so to speak. Although this guy's rant is pretty one-sided and angry there is a fair amount of truth in there.
  • Over a year ago
    Stop assuming that every girl acts like some stupid cheerleader in a crappy American sitcom >_> It's not the fault of the entire world's population of girls that you didn't get laid.
  • Over a year ago
    Thats awesome. Great article from The Onion.
  • Over a year ago
    LOL. http://www.theonion.com/articles/but-if-we-started-dating-it-would-ruin-our-friends,11473/
  • Over a year ago
    Bottom-line, guy or girl, why date an ass/bitch? If he/she is bad at least a few times in a couple days, dump his/her ass, if it happens enough they might just take the hint and you're happier
  • Over a year ago
    If the nice guy wanted the girl, why didn't he ever say anything? It's true its the girls own fault, but are you really attracted to a girl who doesn't care enough to dress nice, doesn't have the confidence to say what's on her mind, and has no passion to pursue a career that she is successful in? Just because a girl screws you over doesn't mean you should be a douche, and if a guy screws a girl over that doesn't give her the right to be a bitch to the nice guys. Point is, it's a two way street.
  • Over a year ago
    Guys, the next time a woman calls upon your niceness, just remember the responses of some women in this thread, and what their true feelings about nice guys are: They don't care about your problems and feelings. They only care if you can help them with their problems and feelings. Fuck'em!!!
  • Over a year ago
    "Oh yeah--men who hi-five about this article are high five-ing misogynistic, bitter, woman hating HATE SPEECH" <-- If that's true then all I have to say is: HURAY FOR MISOGYNISTIC, BITTER WOMAN HATING HATE SPEECH!!! Wooohooo!!!! I'm a misogynist and you now what girly, YOU made me that way! Woohooo!!!!!!
  • Over a year ago
    I think you are putting too much blame on women. Attraction cannot be controlled. I am not a chick magnet , but I can't go bitter because of that . There is third way between bieng a nice guy and bieng bitter. The third way is to be bold , toughen up and work on one's confidence , attraction self esteem etc....... I think in general , girls are more forgiving and sensitive to feelings than guys. We just storm around looking for the hottest girl.

    We cannot control attraction.
  • Over a year ago
    My first boyfriend and love was exactly what you just described: Followed me around like a lost puppy, was there for me when I was emotionally hurting, and always tried to take care of me. Then, after of almost 2 years of dating he dumped me because people told him I was too clingy. Even if you date a nice guy he can still turn into an asshole.
  • Over a year ago
    Agreed 110%

    Great article...
  • Over a year ago
    I never knew girls disliked guys for being too nice!

    @rainydaydreamaway: I agree with Snorkledorf. There's nothing wrong with making the first move!
  • Over a year ago
    Bitter much?
  • Over a year ago
    Rdda, if he's as you described him, he probably just has no gut feeling for when/how to suddenly take the offensive. You said you've asked him out -- did he turn you down flat or something? When I was inexperienced and inept, it took my first girlfriend breaching my space by resting her head on my shoulder "out of the blue" before I got a clue. And even then she had to escalate it to first kiss without a whole lot of help from me... Inexperience carries a lot of inertia, but once we got going...
  • Over a year ago
    And emailed him, given him cds and guitar pics I got from a favorite artist of both of ours... given him every go signal there is... and no go. Now I've moved on, sort of, though I'd still go out with him if he asked and I know he wants to, hints about it in his emails, but hasn't. And I know it's about confidence, which I've sincerely tried to boost by letting him know what I like about him. But he won't make a solid move. How long does he think I should wait?
  • Over a year ago
    And here's where all you nice guys start to hate me. I have been interested for about 3 years in a guy who most would consider a true geek. He's chubby, older than me and could use a wardrobe update from somewhere other than Home Depot. But he is a good guy with a big heart. He's super bright, very humble, dry deadpan sense of humor which I love and we can connect on just about any subject, especially music. And he obviously thinks I'm hot and has made his attraction known. I have asked him out,
  • Over a year ago
    Perfect.
  • Over a year ago
    I like this. It tells the story from a male perspective, yet I believe this story is Unisex in it's content. It tells of how far the superficiality in our culture really goes. I'm glad I was turned down by the first woman to reject me. Every person plays their part and all the world is a stage. It's how we decide to digest rejection. Some are made into men who find greatness, others become monsters that leave the world asking, "How did it come to this".
  • Over a year ago
    And I believe everyone who has read this will appreciate this as well: http://www.xkcd.com/513/
  • Over a year ago
    You speak the truth. Unfortunately I don't have it in me to change and become one of them. I can move on, but instead I've mostly moved on to nothing...because I know changing into that isn't morally right and there is nowhere else to go. So I wait...and may possibly forward this on to a few girls I happen to know. If anyone has an alternative to waiting, the Articles section of this website is waiting for you. ;)
  • Over a year ago
    SPOT ON! Kudos, to whoever wrote this.

    I'm totally for open expression, but for above commenters, it's not always necessary to equalize extremes....I think the bimbo conception is far more ramprant, and therefore, goes without saying.
  • Over a year ago
    This is a great article lol.Very TRUE
  • Over a year ago
    Always did like this one here, no matter where I read it. most of this is true. But, ladies, you DO have a part to play in it, just as the so-called nice guys do. Ladies, grow the hell up, take responsibility for ur actions, take control of ur life.. and by God, stop settling for these morons who call themselves 'bad boys'... I say the same for the fellas- they need to quit bitchin bout these females who dnt want 'em. Who in their right mind wants sumbody who dnt want them?
  • Over a year ago
    Wow. That's totally me and I occasionally want to shoot myself in the head because I shot myself in the foot. :/
  • Over a year ago
    Yea even tho I skimmed thru ur article
    ur totally right
    i mean I'm a nice guy and have never treated a girl badly
    and if I did I said sorry and apologized
    but all the time the girls use me
    & then they say "why do guys treat me so horribly"
    & I wanna say "cause you treat me so horribly even tho you know I'm here for you u just take advantage of me"
    but always say something else

    & when you said "See, if you think back...you, he'd" no doubt ur right
    & say I want a niceguy but want bad boys spontanou
  • Over a year ago
    Well, what about the women who only fall guys who are much older and/or married? 90% of the time, I find out after I start liking the guy that he is married. It's like a curse! I guess it's because they're already highly attuned to what a woman needs and wants... and he's got the "provide for my woman" bit down. It's all a matter of attraction.

    Don't even get me started on the "nice guy" conversation. That would be a long-winded battle of keyboards.
  • Over a year ago
    Amazing.. ur right.. that sh*t is for immature girls and immature women.. I read another article that talked about why nice guys finish last.. it said they finish last because they are boring and girls don't want a boring guy they want excitement.. hahah my take on it is.. boring is much better than disloyal... and I met this one girl who won't shut up about her ex.. bad mouthing him and telling ME she cares about him.. I'm like. yo.. IM right infront of u.. why ru bitchin about some loser.. -__-
  • Over a year ago
    Hey Bro, man your story is so right on, Forget all these haters saying this isn't true. I'm a very nice guy who treated his past girlfriend/fiance with so much love and respect. we dated for 5 years, I never hit her, o verbally abused her. I never cheated on her. I treated this girl like a queen. She told me after 5 years of dating she doesn't love me enough to get married. She has bone and joint problems. I am always there for her, but It seems to nicer I am, the more I try she hates it.
  • Over a year ago
    In some ways it is true. But it also goes the other way around. I stopped dating for 2 years after a heart break, finally trusted someone again, that supposedly was a very sweet guy, treated me great, then one day he just stops talking to me. He went back to his ex that cheated on him. It made me realize that men just love b***hes. So basically, when you meet a bi**ch just know that there is some "nice guy" that made her that way.
  • Over a year ago
    People are going to love who they love. Just because a woman didn't choose the red headed step child who doted after her all these years does not make her and ass. It makes her a woman who is conscious of what she wants rather than just settling for what's in front of her just because it offers her emotional security. Remember, we want the whole package too.
  • Over a year ago
    2 words! Paleeeeeease! and Pathetic!
    I supposed every woman owes this puppy dog her life. Women need someone who they have chemistry with. Wake up dude! These nice guys pursued these girls for superficial reasons of their own and then they want to throw it in womens faces for not choosing them!? Have your pity party by yourself about not being able to attract the hot girl!
  • Over a year ago
    They all got scared away from the women they treated great and still got burned by them. My 1st girl I was terrible to. But, as I matured and realized I didn't want a mate to be disrespected. I got disrespected in return from the new one. Call it Karma or what have you. I'll probably deserved it from my past. But, now I'm jaded and the next girl needs to show me I mean a whole lot more to her than the last one that left me to go back to some loser ex that doesn't work and has a crack problem.
  • Over a year ago
    I don't think I overlook nice guys. In fact, I have a crush on one. But to a degree this article is true for both genders, women tend to do this more to the nice guys. Realistically speaking, there are many times when being nice is not what makes a girl's heart throb for a guy. Honestly speaking, I don't think I do this. I honestly do believe I fall for the nice guys.

    When I first start to like someone, I try to figure out his flaws first to see if I can handle it. accept them.
  • Over a year ago
    I'm a woman and you just said a mouthful of truth that a lot of women should have figured out along time ago. Loved it. OMG you're so right. I also would love to add. Women try being a nice girl and just maybe you can bring that nice guy back out. I also loved what gggggggggf said about guys going doing the same thing. You're chasing the girl everyone in the world wants, but not the girl that lives down the street. That knows more about you then anyone, because you grew up together.
  • Over a year ago
    Oh my gosh. This almost made me cry! I totally feel for that just a friend guy. And I totally think that women do this! (At least the ones with guy friends.) I think the problem is that most women are attracted to the romantics of heartache. They want to feel hurt and wallow in self pity. I say that those women should get over themselves. Those are the girls who've never had issues dating and can easily overlook the nice guy that they 'want'.
  • Over a year ago
    Right on the money. when I read this article it was like a reality check. I wrote an article myself but its not as well written as this
  • Over a year ago
    Wow... dude this is right on. I couldn't have said it better myself except I'm still the Platonic buddy, I liked your use of words lol. Anyways awesome job man.
  • Over a year ago
    This is just straight up truth on this matter. But the same could be said for the "nice girls" and their frustration. I have read this several times, and it made me smile each time I did....
  • Over a year ago
    For those of you complaining about this article, I believe it 100% depicts what happens to people not just men but woman also and the ones who read this article and have gone through what it describes will not automatically seek revenge on the opposite sex for the stupidity of the ones who treated us like this article says but hope that it helps the ones who treated us that way to grow and learn from their mistakes
  • Over a year ago
    Simply amazing story and so very true
  • Over a year ago
    This letter is one of my favorites as I share it with many of my female friends. Being 32 and friends with a very large group of VERY attractive younger women, I hear about this scenario all the time.
    Today it's true many women and men alike are shallow. Seems some people look at a significant other as a fashion accesory or confidence builder versus a soulmate. I noticed though, the ones who hate this letter ARE the shallow ones! "You want the truth? Well YOU can't HANDLE the truth!" J.N
  • Over a year ago
    Am I the only one who thinks this article actually perpetuates the "nice-guy syndrome" by taking the blame from the people where it belongs? Yes, sometimes flaky women will dismiss good guys, but more often than not because the "good" ones are creepy, needy or insecure (usually all three). Women want secure, confident guys who will truly respect them, and it's clear this bitter author has both a hatred of women and a martyr complex that would humble Jesus Christ. For your own sake and that of your future happiness, grow up.
  • Over a year ago
    And I should also point out that you say men shouldn't expect things handed to them for good personality or whatever, but women expect that everyday. Not even for personality, but just based on the fact that they're WOMEN. And to top it off, good looking women expect things handed to them just for their good looks.

    You've got to take a step back and realize that I've pointed out some pretty accurate things, and apparently you have a problem with how society is right now because that's it.
  • Over a year ago
    Clearly people agree with what I'm saying, even women. This is an overexaggerated story meant to overtly point out some truths that women share. This is more of a satire on how shitty women treat men than a nonfiction story.

    Most women are horribly shallow, especially at my age. You are thinking in the generation in which you grew up, and I'm sorry but its outdated and you have not experienced the new generation of college age kids in america.
  • Over a year ago
    Oh yeah--men who hi-five about this article are high five-ing misogynistic, bitter, woman hating HATE SPEECH...
  • Over a year ago
    What you should be saying is you won't waste another moment on a girl like that, even for revenge, and you will reserve all the kindness, door opening and flower giving to the girl who loves you, appreciates you and treats you like a king as I do my own "nice" man. Sure--Chad may get all the babes, you may be 35 when it happens, but who cares! Wouldn't you rather have something real than to say you scored with 100 brainless Buffy's? Think about THAT and get off the bitter rants...!
  • Over a year ago
    Besides, don't you think it is entirely possible that you, like the women you trash, keep making the same dumb choices in woman for the same unenlightened reasons and that is why you have had bad experiences. why a are you telling men be jerks because shallow girls do shallow things? There is a battle going on between the sexes and telling men to be assholes is not the way to stop the war or to foster communication -- it is only a call for revenge...and on to my final note
  • Over a year ago
    You don't think it pisses me of that some blond chick can get promoted ahead of me or some guy catered to a low life girl who played games while I sat at home dateless--I was THIRTY-FIVE when I finally met the man I wanted--what are u, 21? WTF?. You are not going to get what you want- just handed 2 you--and a girl isn't obligated to like you just because you are NICE--you have to be compatible--share the same goals...all you did was make men angry about a situation they cannot control..
  • Over a year ago
    Damn this writing template--anyway--what I was saying was, guys are JUST as guilty of chasing girls who look a certain way and not caring about the inner person --until they get burned by the heifer--then they want to become vindictive. what you are doing is destructive, not constructive.

    why is it your idea that you are supposed just be handed any girl you want? some guys have it easier--so what?
  • Over a year ago
    I suppose what gets my goat is that if a woman came on here and said "I got burned by an asshole, and because of that, I will tell all women to treat men like the jerks they are!" then you and all the men in here high-fiving you would be calling her a bitter, angry bitch.

    why--she is sayign nothign no differnt then what you are.

    Bsides, I was otssed aside by guys who cahsed afrter bond bimbos--I kenw I coudl give them the lvoe they desires--they called me thier "friend" while they kept gettig
  • Over a year ago
    I was the nice guy growing up, always seen as the brother-like figure, never boyfriend material. Luckily I found a Lady who appreciates this Nice Guy.
    Good Article.
  • Over a year ago
    I guess its just my experience. I've dealt with far more women that fit this perfectly than not and that's where this generalization comes from. Sure, its definently overexaggerated, but that's meant for people to look at and think about even more. I mean, clearly its causing a lot of people to stop and think, and that's what I aimed for in the very beginning probably about 4 years ago now.
  • Over a year ago
    Bingo my friend.
  • Over a year ago
    But you made it appear as if you are going to make every girl out there pay because you made an error in judgment. Not all women are playing games if they don't want to give it up to the first guy who is kind--the mature thing to do is move on when you see she isn't interested and don't give of your self until you know the girl likes you back, not become an asshole with an ax to grind with girls. Do some women use men? yes--men use women too! We live and learn--not seek vengeance...
  • Over a year ago
    I agree to this, not whole-heartedly but mostly yes. I kind of found my way out of the relationship with the jerk boyfriend and into one with the nice guy who helped me whenever my ex had hurt more or everything else you said. I thank you for opening the eyes of many other girls.
  • Over a year ago
    I said emotional intimacy, meaning that when something goes wrong you always go to the guy for support. I think this is much different from your example of a guidance counselor. This is the guy that you hang out with everyday, sharing all your deepest emotions with. And no, it doesn't automatically mean that you have to have sex with any guy that's nice to you, that's not what I'm trying to say. This was written with someone very specific in mind, not as a mold to fit every girl into.
  • Over a year ago
    I just has to respond to this part "You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. " So does giving kindnesses automatically mean you get sex? If my guidance counselors listen to me, does this mean I owe him sex? can't you simply do something nice without wanting to get laid--how does this make you a nice guy at all? And if this was the case you were NEVER that girls friend but a liar and manipulator waiting for a shot to get laid.
  • Over a year ago
    Amen Good man Dave--AMEN!
  • Over a year ago
    You just read my mind my only wish is that Any woman say WHERES THE NICE GUYS ????
    SHE SHOULD READ THIS AND START TO REMEMBER WHAT SHE DID IN THE PAST !!!!!!!
  • Over a year ago
    Hahaha...awesome!
  • Over a year ago
    The part that gets me the most is typically they'll even turn to that nice guy they're with after their boyfriend treated them like crap and likely dumped them and say "where are all the nice guys in the world" as they are comforted by a nice guy. I feel as though you hit the nail on the head and you did so in a very eloquent manner, thank you.
  • Over a year ago
    If you plagarized this article, you need to stop.

    I think I figured certain things out; at least to a small degree.

    I want a woman. Not a girl. The females you are describing are not women but girls. There can be 18 year old women, and 30 year old girls.

    Great women are rare, and they usually get "snatched up" quicker than the guys because of the way our culture is. It won't stop me from looking. I just hope I don't become bitter and nasty with all the waiting and pain.
  • Over a year ago
    Thanks ace--I wish most men were mature enough to just accept that they need to simply just move on and not punish every woman out there for their own mistakes in judgment...
  • Over a year ago
    This sounds like where I'm at right now. I'm on the fringe with her. She's my best friend and she recently got cheated on and she tried to work it out(which I applaud her for trying). I've been there for her through thick and thin. Now single, she turns me down because she doesn't see me in the romantic sense. But she loves me. In the platonic sense. Great article and I'm a nice guy that's not gonna become the asshole because of a woman just to get laid.
  • Over a year ago
    Amen, brother. Amen.
  • Over a year ago
    Also--people need to start learning from their dating mistakes and stop blaming the world--men claim women make men pay for their past mistakes , but when guy turn into a jerk cause he got burned, he is doing the same thing. At least to female credit, when they decide to grow up and want nice guys that is what they look for, whereas men get angry and bitter and try to make all women pay for one bitch who broke his heart as apposed to sucking it up and learning to grow.
  • Over a year ago
    Fair to an extent--but at the same time, men are just as guilty of this. I was a nice girl who men didn't want to be with, I suppose because I wasn't aggressive enough. I met and married a nice guy and so did a lot fo my friends. As I have said in my previous posts, it is not that women don't want a nice guy, it is that they want a certain type of nice guy just as a ,man wants a certain type of nice girl--besides, are we not to blame for our folly of letting someone abuse our love?
  • Over a year ago
    Good article. but you know, same can go for guys, and it often does. There is plenty of guys who prefer some brainless hottie over a nice girl because that was they can seem cool.Girls see that and begin asking questions like " oh, do guys like nice or naughty, wild?" Then they try to become what they think guys really want, and then, become girls you've described above. So, I think everything depends on how mature the person is, not whether it's a guy or a girl.
  • Over a year ago
    So true on so many levels.

    Women (and even men) who have their heads stuck up their arses don't even deserve the attention of the nice guy (or nice woman).

    I was the "nice guy" up until a few years ago. Now I am the total asshole as told by most people. Yes, I'm getting action like you wouldn't believe, but, I find it quite boring honestly.
  • Over a year ago
    YES! It is true, it is true as it is written. Ladies, take notice!

    For Trickstir85: It sounds like your friend already "shed his mantle"....

    Some girls get it though. I'm with a wonderful girl right now, that was looking in all the wrong places for what she now claims I am, the best man in the world. I love her to bits, even if though it took her a while to realize it...
  • Over a year ago
    I live in Los Angeles, and I originally wrote this less then a year ago. I realize it appeared on craigslist, and I have the original email responses of people nominating the post for "best of".
  • Over a year ago
    This pretty much sums it up. I think the balance is where guys have to reach maturity and develop confidence, but girls have to stop using people (intentionally or not).
  • Over a year ago
    Oh and I suppose I should indicate that my previous comment was directed at the original writer of this story. Not the plagiarizing half-wit who posted this here. There is solace in knowing I found this out before I rated the article.

    1 star.
  • Over a year ago
    Created an account just to reply to this article.... Wow, excellent insight. I wasn't fully on board with what you were saying at the beginning, but the end is spot on. Ya, I was one of those nice guys. I had a girlfriend that pushed me away, so she could be with an asshole. This taught me to be an asshole. Now I'm an asshole, married with two kids. My wife is miserable and still wants me. My ex-girlfriend is miserable, and wants me back.

    Women do not teach men to be anything but assholes.
  • Over a year ago
    I saw this on Reddit like last year... Originally it was posted on craigslist...

    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html

    Plagiarism is so not cool. :(
  • Over a year ago
    Dude, women can't help what they're attracted to any more than you can. While you were making doe eyes at the hottie who had her choice of men, there were three other less good looking women who were wondering why none of the boys were interested in them. Where were you? Ah yes, chasing after a girl out of your league.

    And when those women say that they want a "nice guy", they don't mean you.
  • Over a year ago
    A juvenile attitude? You yourself just agreed with what I said by stating that you have a hard time getting your foot in the door. This article isn't meant to apply to every situation and every stage, but its saying that as a nice guy its harder to get and keep a relationship short term.

    Also, take a look at my age. I'm sure it doesn't apply to older individuals, but it applies to me. I'll write another article once I'm older about how I feel. Thanks for the feed back.
  • Over a year ago
    Hahaha! ohhh shit I love this! But just so everyone knws... I have never, so far, acted like an "ass bitch" to any of the nice guys I DO knw! So this is a great heads up!

    Good-Job person Lidepi :D
  • Over a year ago
    Unfortunately, most woman are attracted to the bad boys! It isn't until you get a bit older and realize what is important .......then you like the attentive guy who will hold your hand.........who is calm, caring, knows how to communicate................
  • Over a year ago
    I think you take a very juvenile attitude toward the nice-guy problem. Maybe in high school you'd be right, but actual women *love* nice guys. Granted, as a nice-guy, I don't have the sex appeal that a lot of dangerous guys do, so it's harder for me to get my foot in the door. But once it is, I have the opposite problem of girls getting to clingy too fast.

    Plus, I think it's much better to be rejected outright for being "too nice" than be with a girl who secretly harbors that attitude.
  • Over a year ago
    I couldnt have said it better myself!! this is the truest article ive read on here. I go through this with every girl I like, I wish sometimes they would get their heads out of the dumb asses and realize this. I hope you don't mind I'm going to keep this article and send it to some of those girls who will never grow up.
  • Over a year ago
    Good article. My best friend is a really nice guy...and I am really nice girl. Problem is that he rather go for sex-on-legs (pretty hot girls who make fun of him anyways). Agreed, girls tend to do this more often..but, even guys can be equally as bad. My best "nice" guy friend is amazing...but, he thinks all girls wants jerks. We dont.
  • Over a year ago
    Thanks for all the support guys, clearly I was not at my best when I wrote it. Maybe some females will take notice and things will change, although it seems highly unlikely.
  • Over a year ago
    Good story, and, unfortunatly, all too true. :(
  • Over a year ago
    Heck yes! Every female needs to read this. I've had so many girls used to treat me like this, heck, even if I didn't have feelings for them and was just being a friend, they only called when they needed something. I've moved on from them all, may they rot for all I care.
  • Over a year ago
    PREACH!!!! PREACH!!!! Lord knows how many times I've seen guys turned down because they were "too nice." But the dude that was cheating and being a complete jerk was what they were looking for. After they have been used and abused, they want to look for the nice guy. And this is the PERFECT answer!!!! Well said!!!!
  • Over a year ago
    Amen! I thank my stars every day that I woke up and realized that the jirks I was in relationships with were only after one thing, and usually got it. I now have a boyfriend who is wonderful and wouldn't trade him for the world
  • Over a year ago
    Well said, I wish this could be sent to every woman so they could appreciate us more :)
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