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SHYMEN101. Pow.
I know the aggressive males are so appealing to a female, because it fits the media or propaganda projected image of what a man ought to be. You get one, and too often their brains are just full of jello. They're delicious, but not NUTRITIOUS. Too often we reach for the 99% fat ice cream when we have frozen yoghurt around us – healing us when our hearts get stomped on, hugging us when our tears become worthless.
Sometimes, who we end up with, isn't really the 'ideal' we thought was perfect for us :) ... sometimes, they're right next to you. All you need is COURAGE, and hopefully, this article is a good double dosage!
I'll tell you a little secret. Shy men, are GEMS.
Babe, if you like a shy guy, realise they're called shy for a reason. WEAR THE PANTS.
Behind that glass demeanor, the sweaty palms, is a witty, ROMANTIC and intelligent human being WAITING to be saved from LONELINESS. He is the guy that will love you for simply you, even if you're wearing track pants or have a steak sauce (A1) stain down your top. It is unconditional.
I can tell you this: If you're a SMOTHERER - they're a perfect match. They CRAVE affection. Shy men, won't vom or LEG IT at your overwhelming affection. They feed off it.
Help the poor fella out. They need more - FORWARD HINTS. Normally, a normal guy will notice a twig and bite, shy men NEED A TREE TRUNK worth to gain the same courage … to even touch you.
DO NOT THINK HE IS SETTLING FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING THE WORK. Heck, think, the only way he is ever going to get a girl is if he gets approached by one, and WHEN YOU DO SO, you're doing what he wants. Yes, you are vulnerable, and yes, under normal male circumstances - you're throwing yourself at him - but he ISN'T NORMAL (in a bloody good way). He finds your vulnerability AN APHRODISIAC.
YOU = SAUCY MINX. So, JUMP.
Now, they're a peculiar specimen. Let me explain.
NO GAMES. Shy men, the large portion of them, are inexperienced, 'nice guys'. They often are too scared to make a move in fear of rejection due to insecurities - which we see as appealing (as in a way, our flaws are what makes us 'perfect' and unique). Too often they end up rotting in the 'friendohmygashnosex' category - because they're afraid to take the TEENY step to push the relationship to the next level ... and because of their INDIFFERENT DEMEANOR, too often women (who, come on, are still pretty old fashioned and like to be asked out) see as a sign of DISINTEREST. This is absolute BULL.
Don't get me wrong, they're insecure but THEY ARE NOT WEAK. For some reason, we (ladies) forget that they ARE MEN. THEY HAVE THE DESIRES EVERY PRIMAL MALE HAS. URGES. CRAVINGS that need to be satisfied. Their hormones have been buzzing since a young age too. Imagine being in 'HEAT' and having your legs BOUND together ... they're literally CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGONS. Sex with a shy guy is the last thing you should be worried about.
They're wise, because they seek out strong (honey, you're stronger than you realise :)), beautiful, independent women, and he gets a kick out of knowing that he has your heart and you have his. Mutual support. A beautiful partnership.
They are often introverted, in the sense that they compete against themselves and beat their own personal bests. These are the men who will be stable enough to support you. Long term relationship material.
If the shy guy is REPLYING you (calls, text messages or even talking to you) HE. LIKES. YOU. Or he'd just swim away or disappear. The fact that he is communicating with you means that HE IS INTERESTED. They speak a lot with their EYES. So, whatever hunch you feel, it is ON THE SPOT. They DON’T play games. Black and white, simple and easy flowing partners to have.
We (ladies) need to realise that ROMANTIC love is TURBULENT, IMPERFECT, INCOMPLETE love (it is often limerence or the longing of an incomplete love). If happily ever afters weren't the end of fairytales - I bet you Cindy and Prince Charming wouldn't sound as flash. The TRUE LOVE - shy men can offer is PEACEFUL, TRANQUIL, FLOWING love, that is like a good WINE, only gets BETTER as it ages.
He will nurture you, as they are normally natural 'GIVERS'. Although, they may be reserved with showing affection, they may not be able to boast out loud how much they care, they'll show it through PASSIVE means (this requires listening to you and thought), being there when you need them, saying sensitive little comments to make sure he can see your beautiful smile, everyday.
Note - he isn't retarded. Don't treat him like one. Compliment with your HEART. BE YOURSELF. Because he'll love your inner freak (because he has one too - we all do) ... he is eager for your two secret worlds to blend into one. The intertwining of your imaginations will be truly beautiful.
It is worth it. So, PULL up your pants. Zip up that fly. And POUNCE. Like a cougar.
REOW.
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Article Comments
i hope as many girls would read this
Again, incredible article. This should be a standard teaching. Your man is one lucky guy to have a woman who understands him. Best wishes.
Just saying from the comments and whatnot... you know the whole "for girls ready to settle down" or some sh*t. F***"settling"
scar1 - yeh its impossible to describe every person. more a framework people can work from :) thanks xx
mjmolly - thank you :) be ope to love and it'll find you! xx
lovelylife - go for it! he'll love you for it ... literally :P ! xx
arlen21 - high school is social boot camp you learn to put on masks, but when you're back in college you begin to be who youa re and you learn to be comfortable w who you are as well.- we're all shy around the people we truly like. yeh, well, I like men w a good balance, but you know that the loud ones, theyre loud for a reason because they not ready to...
anonymousdude: agreed. shymen have great compassion too :P ... subtle ay :D !
yeanotheranon: ha ohhh I like that tune :Pyeh well my shy guy makes me this way :P mushy ay ... ew...kidding :P
tc123: thanks :) don't give up hope. I'm not the only one!
hopelesslover123: he does or his friends? if he didn't like you he wouldn't be there. you sure it isn't his internet girlfriend from canada or something?
arcanus: ha ha cheers :) relaly made me smile! and I agree :P modest huh!
macgeniusnow: yeh, agree. shy men will let you down gently but won't string you along, andi think it is better to face the reality then have ajerk string you along.
barkmoon: cheers :D x
eshkidd: good on ya! ha well, the thing is shy men often try to put on the whole media version of strength (looks) but forget that the emotional strength they possess, the stability - is what a woman truly sees as strength later on in life. x
eskimo_girl: hahah yeh gerard butler is a babe, and that movie is so funny. goes to show that even jerks have a soft heart. we're all human afterall :)
yeths: god yes. you will have an emotional, intellectual & sexual partner. xx
icemaster2340: I congratulate ya for being more outgoing, but I just reckon you should have to change yaself too much for a chick :) and agreed. girls should take charge too :P xx
weaponzero: thanks :) exactly. true trust should come with honesty.
mids09: well I hope you find her soon! smile more :) and be open with your expressions. sometimes all it takes is to hold her gaze and a big welcoming smile!
poseidon17: women are becoming more openminded to approaching. plus the ones that approach the shy guys are likely to be outgoing ones with soft kind hearts so it is a win win. if you wanna change yourself then go for gold, the thing is not to make yourself into another, be uncomfortable - and get a chick to fall in love with a version of yourself that isn't who you are on the inside. if you truly can then defs!
onekindofgurl1: congrats :) he will treat you well! I'm so happy that you told him! he'd be over the moon! hope it works out! nervs are natrual, its the fun part of the relationship :P plus you'd relaly be one of a kind to him! xx
nessaa12: let him know :) you have nothing to lose, only a man you love to gain! xx
dylan1989: thank you and I am very happy ot hear that :D yeh, girls are too shy but I can assure you that well, we're not all cute & shy in our minds. thus, it is really learning to take that extra step and breaking away from our ivory tower to getting prince charming to notice and save us.
chrsschb: thank you :D keep doing what you're doing sunshine!
curtisc83: cheers :) women are subtle, sometimes it is just a subtle double take. a smile. so flash a smile back :) you have nothing to lose but only her smile and maybe a new lady to gain :)
probabilist: thank you! emotional intelligence can be applied anywhere. human society is just a massive web of relationships :)
merry Christmas all!
realdeal: I appreciate your view. it is realistic. I'm describing shy guys as men who understand emotions, part of any health relationship is the want to put another in front of oneself. when you love someone, it goes both ways :) I asked females to be active & to notice these beautiful men, not to take advantage, but to offer their unconditional love to those who deserve it. p.s. - we don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.
*two thumbs up*
He is 20, never had a gf.
When you mentioned touch restraint I figured he might still actually be interested if this article is true. Please someone comment alongside me and clarify if he is shy or not interested, even annoyed. You gave me hope, but I need you to see my description. Thanks. =)
He has trouble looking me in the eyes,he shows of in front of me, sometimes I even catch him looking my way when he thinks I don't notice, he also has trouble touching me when we are alone and I did so, he starts smiling and/or laughing when he does look me in the eye and looks away. I once offered my umbrella to share and he just smiled (blushed?) moved away and said the rain doesn't bother him. I indirectly told him I liked him, he just smiled brightly.
Girl: "I made some obvious significant eye contact with him, but he never even followed up. He must not be interested."
Guy: "She glanced at me for a moment, but then quickly looked away again. She must not be interested."
A girl can look at a guy, smile at him, look away, look back, smile at him again, then pretty much stare him down...and the guy will still be convinced that he ultimately made the "first move."
nice article ;)
This article should be a MUST-READ for every girl on this site.
great article
tech - thank you! and definitely! they are worth it - as I'm dating one atm.
cali - fab :) I'm happy for you! honestly, just be straight up - since you've known him for a while - do something cute, like a cd of all his fav songs. tell him in a creative way - cause I can tell you - 'i like you' will not scare him - he'd probably do a little happy dance in his head! mail me. x
This honestly gave me the courage to tell him!
I am not sure how though?
He follows everything you have said.
Do you know how I sould go about telling him without "scaring" him?
Great article!
jbird - cheers mate :) hah, you mean a huge shove :P it's really a small step but it is absolutely petrifying but DEFINITELY worth it! x
but is hard to believe because in High School its hard to get over all that happened...
alot of ones ideals get instilled then weather you want or not.
girls from my end have alway looked over nice and shy guys...
i had a horrible story based on this fact/myth fyth?
so hearing this is like a mindfck...
NEVER CHEAT ON ANYONE!!
talon - thank you :) haha, I fell for one. but not without reason ;)
But my gosh...this is an article that I've been looking for...too bad girls like you are like 1 in a million.
drummer - thank you very much :)! x
weapon - hah, well. guess we're on the same page now. guess I was on the stimulant all women get a kick out of before - emotions. cheers mate! x
she hit the nail on the head! great article and so entertaining too! :)
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Are you actually a girl? o.o
100% accurate
i know it's a guide for women but I couldn't help but read with shy in the title
i don't exactly like the "only way he going to get a girl is to be approached" this isn't exactly true, it's just harder for us to make the move. but as you said we'll make small moves
i feed on love and give it right back, no strings =)