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This article stems from a big demand from my previous two articles -
Common Questions on GAG
and
Ten Important Life Facts
Both of these articles derive from the questions asked on this site that are constantly asked by all age groups. So I decided to write a multi-part series of articles each will cover a common dating/life problem in more detail. DISCLAIMER: These are to be taken as guides not fact. People are entitled to follow their own intuition.
Life Lesson #1's article will be covering the biggest subjective of them all: You have a crush on someone, Now What? This article is suitable for individuals 18 and over (younger readers may find this useful).
If you are reading this article you must be interested in someone whether it be someone of the same sex or the opposite sex. Whether you met them through friends/family or at school/work or even in passing at a public place the first moments are all the same...what do I do now? All you know is that your ultimate goal is that you'll be dating them and for you monogamous folks - an eventual committed relationship.
The first thing you will do is wonder if they like you back. I'm under the assumption that they know you already and if they don't maybe pieces of this article or pieces of it will apply. You can google "signs of interest" and you can find 1000's of articles and blogs about common signs and some are similar while others differ greatly. Common signs of interest are:
Male signs of interest:
Female Signs of interest:
Now that you know signs of interest and are somewhat sure he or she may be interested your next step is building a rapport with him or her especially if you don't know each other too well. If you are acquaintances the next step is to get to know him or her better and getting them to think of you and/or considering you as a piece of their life.
The best way to do this is to get to know them and their interests. Just approach them and ask them how their weekend was and go from there. Some common subjects are what their interests are, family, where they are from originally, or what they do for a living. Key is to be witty and throw in jokes here and there.
After things have been going well it may be a good time to give them your number. You can either say they you suddenly remember that you have to get going to meet up with friends but wanted to see if he/she wants to grab lunch sometime. They will say yes or no..hopefully they say yes.
If you've known the individual for a long time such as a long time friend and since you've already built up a rapport your best course of action is to decide whether you are willing to deal with rejection and possible a loss of friendship. If you are then just ask them out...if you feel you can't handle rejection I suggest you either move on if you can't handle risk, or take some time to evaluate how important they are to you and your sense of self.
Next phase is first date or even the "talking" stage. Even though this is a multi-faceted area of the early stages of dating the biggest keys of advice I can give you (and please always keep these in mind):
If you keep those things in mind everything should go OK, if it doesn't then strive hard to find solutions at improving what doesn't work.
Common Questions on GAG
and
Ten Important Life Facts
Both of these articles derive from the questions asked on this site that are constantly asked by all age groups. So I decided to write a multi-part series of articles each will cover a common dating/life problem in more detail. DISCLAIMER: These are to be taken as guides not fact. People are entitled to follow their own intuition.
Life Lesson #1's article will be covering the biggest subjective of them all: You have a crush on someone, Now What? This article is suitable for individuals 18 and over (younger readers may find this useful).
If you are reading this article you must be interested in someone whether it be someone of the same sex or the opposite sex. Whether you met them through friends/family or at school/work or even in passing at a public place the first moments are all the same...what do I do now? All you know is that your ultimate goal is that you'll be dating them and for you monogamous folks - an eventual committed relationship.
Male signs of interest:
- Over-exaggeration of disinterest coupled with hypocritically always being around you.
- Face lights up when you enter the room
- Goofy/dorky behavior designed to get a reaction out of you
- Asks your opinion of something related to their looks (hair/outfit etc)
- Always facing you in a group conversation
- Involving you in a conversation that you aren't in
- His friends ask you what you think of him
- He asks you out**
- He is always where you are
- Touching (subtle or otherwise)
- Mirroring things you say or do (at the exact moment or down the road)
- Bending over backwards to help you
- Behaviors are different towards you than everyone else
- Constant looking at you or always positively talking about you to others
Female Signs of interest:
- Friends ask you what you think about her
- Always looking at you or always mentioning you
- Sudden shyness blushing or clumsiness
- Always around you
- Mirroring things you do or say
- Changing looks suddenly
- Doing things for you
- Acting different towards you than everyone else
Now that you know signs of interest and are somewhat sure he or she may be interested your next step is building a rapport with him or her especially if you don't know each other too well. If you are acquaintances the next step is to get to know him or her better and getting them to think of you and/or considering you as a piece of their life.
"Some common subjects are: what their interests are, family, where they are from originally, or what they do for a living."
After things have been going well it may be a good time to give them your number. You can either say they you suddenly remember that you have to get going to meet up with friends but wanted to see if he/she wants to grab lunch sometime. They will say yes or no..hopefully they say yes.
If you've known the individual for a long time such as a long time friend and since you've already built up a rapport your best course of action is to decide whether you are willing to deal with rejection and possible a loss of friendship. If you are then just ask them out...if you feel you can't handle rejection I suggest you either move on if you can't handle risk, or take some time to evaluate how important they are to you and your sense of self.
Next phase is first date or even the "talking" stage. Even though this is a multi-faceted area of the early stages of dating the biggest keys of advice I can give you (and please always keep these in mind):
- Relax, don't go overboard at impressing
- Always look presentable for the situation/date
- Know when to walk away
- Never settle, but don't expect more than one a normal person can give
- Don't ever assume just ask (especially when it comes men - they rather you ask)
- They are as interested in you as the effort they put in (and the things they tell you about)
- If it gets too difficult (even if they are a good person) know when to move on if it affects your sanity
- Work hard at be more confident/secure with yourself
- Have an opinion not an attitude - everyone likes people who have views about things ...don't be a "whatever you want" kind of person.
"Never settle, but don't expect more than one a normal person can give"
If you keep those things in mind everything should go OK, if it doesn't then strive hard to find solutions at improving what doesn't work.
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