So my best friend and I were hanging out with a bunch of her male friends a few days ago. Later today she said that one of them didn't feel comfortable around me. I asked her why and thought that I had offended someone. She said that he thought that I was very vocal about my opinions on certain things and that a girl should be a little modest. I didn't swear in any of the convos as I'm not a potty mouth and I can' understand what he meant by saying that a girl should be 'modest'. I mean you ask me for an opinion and I give it to you only to get the backlash of him being intimidated by me.
I find this really annoying in guys. Was I supposed to say nothing and sit there with a stupid look on my face while they have a discussion? Well he should be afraid because now I'm quite annoyed with him.
You might be arrogant and not know it, but that would turn off everyone, not just guys.
Your friend might have some bad intentions, like jealous of your good looks so doesn't want competition around guys and lied to you about the reason. Kind of far fetched though, I don't think that stuff happens often.
Maybe you don't mind arguing about things people don't want to talk too much about, like politics, religion, etc. People don't want a friend who's going to try to convert everyone they meet to christianity or environmentalism or talk down to people who have different opinions on serious issues. We've all had those friends who get drunk and shoot their mouth off about how their life is so horrible no one likes them. Some guy friends we can't take around girls because they'll just start arguing with them or say something vulgar or steer everything around getting drinks or throwing a party and the girls are just tryin to chill and hang out, etc.
If you don't have some serious problem tho, I never have thought a girl who spoke her mind was much different than any other. Didn't really consider it until your question, so I'm assuming its as unimportant to other guys.
I try not to be offensive and I'm by no means arrogant or degrading to others. I'd never treat someone with disrespect unless they had it coming. I'm not an easy person to get angry.
i'm actually a happy drunk. lol - 3 months ago
Answerer
Yeah the first 3 paragraphs are really small chances, I was really struggling to find a reason why this is happening because I cannot understand why a vocal girl would be a problem - 3 months ago
First off he is no man. Any male that tells you to be modest is only trying to compensate for his insecurity. I love a woman that speaks her mind. It keeps things fun and interesting. Consider yourself a truly blessed gift among women because you have a strong personality. Lots of women have no substance. And if they are arrogant and vain because they think they are the hottest thing ever.yikes.that makes things worse. I'd rather my life with a woman that's an average looking person with a strong personality than a super hot chick that's either a total asshole, or a clueless idiot. I'm a highly educated man and I need that outlet in a relationship. I love talking to the girl I'm with. intellectual connectivity with a female is a big turn on to me!. and most women I've dated like the fact that I'm open to converse about all kinds of stuff. a little debate and disagreement is healthy and nice as well! Never ever change who you are because of one jerk. This world is packed wall-to-wall with clueless, mindless, apathetic idiots. Live your life the way you want. And never stop using your mouthpiece!, don't be modest girl! . unless your a crazy feminist chick, that has a mullet hair cut and wants to cut off men's johnson's in wal mart parking lots with a few of her tobacco chewing oil working roustabout chick pals, then you might want to be a little more modest for legal reasons. good luck- make good choices- j
LOL absolutely loved your feedback. it's just hard to find guys who can be equally stimulating in a convo. sometimes I find myself walking in and out of a convo not because I'm not interested but because I keep hearing the same thing over and over again. and when I do say something they're not used to hearing from a girl it's like all of a sudden everyone's got that 'omg I can't believe she just said that' look. *sigh* - 3 months ago
Answerer
The repetitive loop men have I understand as well. I have a friend that is a guy I call HBO2. most guys are like HBO2. Same old shit always playing, but sometimes you notice something new in the movie. A cure for this cd on skip mentality is for couples to go out and experience new things. I take dates to film festivals, art galleries, museums, expo's book lectures etc. MY only problem now.....is finding the right someone to date. *sigh* ohhh for sure! huge *sigh* - j - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Awww...yeah at the moment I'm steering clear of guys around my age. there's nothing wrong with them except that I can't seem to find one mature enough to hold a lasting convo with. it's painfully difficult. some people are satisfied going to a movie whereas I would love to go to the museum, attend a classical music concert or just walk on the beach and talk endlessly about anything.
i also for some reason get mistakened for being older than I really am and not because of my looks either. strange - 3 months ago
Answerer
It's not strange. You are what the holland project describes as one of the "thinkers" in society. I fall into this category as well. and sadly, the dating pool for me here is like the lottery- a few winners...and a whole shitload of losers. I think it's a smart move to get away from the little boys your age. It will get harder to find a person who stimulates you mentally. Girls here are busy packing into night clubs to act snobbish and gangsta. I want no part of it. - 3 months ago
I agree with jbone79 ! This guy sounds just like a guy I work with. He thinks any woman that speaks her mind or doesn't put up with BS too "aggressive" . He's totally timid and has insecurity issues.
Any guy that can't handle a real woman isn't a man at all, they are still little boys that need to grow up. Keep being you!
The only way it's a turnoff is if the girl is really emasculating and unfeminine. You can be opinionated and still keep your ladyness =) But the mere fact that this guy insinuiated that you weren't "modest" and actually used that word choice, leads me to believe that he is a d-bag.
Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
I nice dinner date at a restaurant, be it steakhouse, Japanese hibachi or Italian. I would wear business casuals but nothing over the top and all cleaned up. We would talk about anything but I would do most of the listening to show I am focused on her. Afterwards, a nice drive around town for a few or a walk in the park if the weather is good. To end the date, I will never try to steal a kiss.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
A woman will know that I am a very honest and straightforward guy with a tremendous sense of humor. She will know that I am one of those nice guys that women have been looking for all this time yet have been here all along.
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