i need advice on how to fix a relationship that started out as friends with benefits. we just have casual sex, but i'm starting to like him. we don't have a "friendship" going on, basically is just sex. at first my plan was to keep it like that, and i didn't wanna get attached to him. but now i feel that i want him for my own. whether or not i'm confusing my feelings, i would really wanna know how to change the way he sees me. i don't want him to fall completely in love with me, but at least i would want him to have a more deep relationship with him, you know share our stuff. i would definitely accept the fact that it's really hard to do, and just keep it the ways it was, but if somebody knows if i can do something about it please tell me.
Update: I was wondering how can I have his attention again, and somewhat make him see me as something else other than his sex toy.
6 months ago
So, you've talked about it and you know that he wants to stick with the original plan? And his original plan was always the same as yours? Anyway, just try to work on him slowly. If things tend to be eat and run, ask him what's the hurry. Why not hang out a while? Gradually start to spend more time and see where it goes. If he won't do that much, then he has reasons why or somewhere else to be. I guess I don't understand FWB just for that reason. If I feel attracted enough to want sex with someone, I doubt I could be sure to avoid getting more attached. It only makes some sense to me if you've been closer at one time and have decided on this as a compromise between staying together and jumping back into the dating scene. Even then, it seems unlikely to remain at a constant level of intensity. If you haven't said it out loud, does it seem like he has or has not picked up on you're feelings? I don't think you would mess things up by telling him - provided that, if he says lets leave things as they are, you can say you're OK with that. No pressure.
Thanx. no we haven't talked about it, but you know it's obvious that his plan is to still the same. When I first met him yeah he was all into me and stuff but then when we decided to take it as a fwb, then he just kinda stopped calling me or being you know nicer. basically yeah what we been doing is just "eat and run" lol. but as I said before due to the actual situation I don't I can pop up a question like" hey would you like to be something else" so what I was wondering is like what can I do have - 6 months ago
Answerer
I think without trying to steal extra time whenever you can and make every moment as special as possible during the time you have, it will be difficult. Work on his likes (both sexual and otherwise). Start gradually. Don't suddenly smother him. If you can get him to spend more time, it will be because he is enjoying where he is and not be so quick to leave. If he still must leave, then what draws him away is strong. - 6 months ago
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