Ex-boyfriend and family sends me graduation card....what now?

Question

I broke up 8 months ago with my ex boyfriend. We were together for 4 years and I was head over heals for him, we talked about getting married, and our family's were close.  I thought everything was perfect.but in my last year of college everything changed, I wanted to work and be independent, he felt like I was not making room for him in my future and looking back I was not because I was not sure he was the one for me. We broke up, he started dating someone right way and I stayed single.  We talked and he never told me about his new relationship, I had to learn from mutual friends. We met 5 months ago for coffee, we both cried our eyes out, he said he wants to see me more, the he has not found anything better and misses me. I said lets see where life will take us, I told him I still loved him but I just do not know my future. His new girlfriend seems good for him and I am happy if he's happy. I do miss him and I think a large part is because I am single and have not found better.  I still get sad, its not easy we have not talked for 5 months now because I had to stop the communication.it was to hard.  I just graduated and I got in the mail graduation cards and generous gifts from my ex's grandparents, sister, parents, and the hardest I got a card and gift from the ex. It brought me back down, I cried and cried over it.  It was so hard to read what he had said when I have not talked to him in so long.  He went from my best friend to nothing.and now this contact hurts.  I don't know what it means, maybe just a kind jester or is it more? I think I will take the high road and send out thank you cards but why such kind jesters when they could just have done nothing and I would have maybe been better? I am confused, hurt and frustrated why I can't seems to get over him.what does the cards mean?

S8tr1234 · Accepted Answer

i think the fact that that you were together for 4 years makes his family feel like you're important enough to be thought of and during the time that you were together, they came to think of you as an extension of their family. that kind of bond and relationship regardless of you now being broken up is hard to just cut off over night. mind you I wouldn't just jump into conclusions just because they sent you some gifts and cards. I think that this was a kind gesture and they wanted to help you commemorate an important stage in your life. I know it's a bit painful and it seems like you guys aren't really over each other.

i think you need to sit down and think what you really want. I mean on one hand you want to be independent and figure things out on your own without being committed to him. on the other hand you want to be with him. I know it's like an internal struggle and you feel like you're being pulled from all directions. I think you're coming to a crossroads in your life and you need to decide which direction you want to go. every door you close, another one opens. it's either you accept that he's someone else and move on with your life, or you overcome your fears and doubts and fight for him! my only suggestion is to seriously think about you want and then act on it. but please don't dwell on this for too long as you said he is with a new gf. you have to strike while the iron is still hot. until you figure out what you REALLY want, you won't be able to get past this. we can give you suggestions and encouragement but you my dear will have to be the one to decide what's best for you.

take some time to reflect on yourself. write in your journal. get back to basics as in really dig deep inside and ask yourself what it is you TRULY want and need in life. I know it won't seem clear right now but with time you'll figure this out. but whatever it is that you decide, stick with it and don't let your doubts get to you. listen to your heart and however scary the outcome may be, thins WILL BE OK. don't just tell yourself this, BELIEVE it.

best of luck to you and try not to worry too much. Cheers!

kandi · Accepted Answer

Maybe even though the relationship is over, they all -- even the ex-- still care deeply about you. After all, you all did spend 4 years together. Some of the memories of that time can't be wiped away.

They still care for you. Do you still care for them?

EmilyS524 · Accepted Answer

just confront him! B like lets go to dinner! Then b like you know how you said you missed me earlier! Well I feel the same! as much as I tried and tried to get over you I know ur the one for me!

rubberbandman · Accepted Answer

well you were with him for 4 years. I am sure that in that time you built close relationships or at least good friendships with those people who sent you cards? Its normal for you to get cards from friends and family, and sometimes you get cards from your parents friends whom you don't know so well. So it makes perfect sense to get cards from your ex's fam, especially considering you were with him for 4 years.

But sounds like there is more. I can tell that you really miss him. Maybe you should trying dating again, or if you truly don't want to you should date new people. You are def not over your ex yet.

AJtogo · Accepted Answer

I would think that the cards mean congratulations on your graduation.  I would assume that you were a part of all their lives when you were in school and just because you an he split before graduating doesn't mean they aren't interested in what happened to you.  They obviously like you, so just accept the gesture and send your thanks.

wondering-mind · Answer

As of today, it's aug 2008, I'd like to know how you have resolved your problem cause I'm currently stuck in a similiar problem.  Wish you the best and look forward to your reply.

Ex-boyfriend and family sends me graduation card....what now?

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