Guys: What's your opinion on dating overweight girls?

Question

I'm 26 / 5'2

My weight last year was: 254lbs / 115.2 kg

My weight right now: 170lbs / 77.1 kg

It's a work in progress!

Would you date an overweight girl at all (with a personality you like) and would it make a difference if she was (like me) in the process of losing weight...or is it simply not something you'd go for because you could never be attracted to an overweight girl?

Reason for asking: I didn't feel good about the way I looked / lived, but now; having lost all that weight I feel great about myself. Way more confident about flirting & Co even though I still have a LOT of work to do and most guys would probably still consider me fat.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

First off, congratulations on your weight loss. Keep it up. I too would like to see a before and after pic hence why I am not anonymous. I too am loosing weight and not only does my stomach look smaller, but my arms, chest and penis look bigger, so that's a plus. It has also boosted my self confidence. Go out and buy a great outfit, it will help your outlook that much more. I mean everything. Panties, bra, jeans/skirt sweater/blouse.

I find that if you loose weight to quickly without firming up and toning at the same time, you tend to get that flab under your arms. Start weight training. Also as you are at a plateu with your workout, you need to change it up, intensify it some and keep going. Swiming is an awesome way to get a fll body work out with out really bulking up like a body builder or loosing your bust.

The best diet and exercise regiment that I have ever done was thanks to the United States Military and would gladly pay to go through boot camp again as a diet/exercise program (yes I would) and think that it would be a good way for the government to make some money! Talk to an ex-service member, Cadre, or Recruiter to find out the exercises. Now on to your questions.

I have always been attracted to larger women. One because I was a larger male and had little to no self-esteem or self-confidence. When I originally lost weight (247 to 163 in 12 weeks) I started dating and 'entertaining' girls that were size two (or smaller) and 32B as I gained weight I lost "the one." After 10 years of extreme self hate, 360 pounds and many suicide attempts I am loosing weight again. As my size went up so did the girls that I hit on. Now I am married and wanting to loose the weight for myself. She too is big but does not care about her (275) weight nor does she care to try loosing it. I don't think I would leave her over it, but it will cause us to have a lot less in common. She'll sit around the TV eating while I am out hufing and puffing walking 5 miles 2X a day. She can't walk around the mall with out stopping to "REST" or have a snack at the all you can eat buffet. The more we grow apart the harder it will be. I am doing this for me, her and my health. Can't she do it for just one of those reasons?

Once again, keep up the good work. If you join the Y or most gyms, they will assign you a trainer free for "X" amount of days/weeks/months. Give it a try.

thesude241 · Accepted Answer

i mean, the thing is that guys are more visual people so we prefer a girl who is physically attractive.  The issue here isn't dating but the idea of first attraction. Sure personality matters but you have to get to that step of finding out each others' personality and that requires an initial approach and the physical attraction is what creates that approach. So I guess what I'm saying is that, I probably wouldn't date an overweight girl. I apologize if that comes off as shallow.. But good luck on your weight loss! don't do it just to get guys. do it for your own health! :)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I loved this! I am 5 ft 2 and170 lbs now. I HATE it. I'm pretty in the face, but I carry everything in my abd. I joined CrossFit and I'm working my way down... but it feels so slow! I'm so sad. I randomly came across this post and it seems so inspirational. Seems like there are mixed feelings about whether or not a guy would be attracted. Idk, I'm pretty confident... I used to be 143 lbs and I was happy-ish then... and then I moved home (worst idea ever). In college, I could maintain my weight because I picked what I ate there. Here, my mom comments on everything and cooks super unhealthy foods! I'm so frustrated. Thanks for this though. Good luck to you! Are you still working at it?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I can't answer your question since I'm a girl and everything, but I just wanted to say congrats on getting healthy! You're doing amazing :)

ARONN · Answer

Lots of guys are attracted to overweight girls (aka heavyset, fat, stocky girls). My girlfriends (one at a time) included overweight girls both fat and stocky. I remember one of my girlfriends in particular who was very short and very large (more fat than stocky) and who had high self esteem because she knew she was stronger than many guys including tall skinny guys like me (I stand 6-foot-1 and I weigh 135 pounds). One day, she boldly challenged me to a weightlifting contest to find out which one of us (HER? OR ME?) could lift a bigger, heavier barbell overhead. She stood only 4-foot-9 while she weighed 190 pounds (massive for her short stature) while I weighed 125 pounds (measly for my tall stature). At my apartment, there was a big, heavy, fully-loaded barbell set up on the floor. I had already tried to lift it over my head. I lifted it up from the floor but when I tried to lift it over my head, I COULDN'T EVEN GET IT ABOVE MY THIGHS! When she arrived, she lifted that barbell up from the floor and I watched her while she easily swung it up over her shoulders and then, while I continued to watch her, she easily lifted it over her head. I just stood there, STUNNED, and ALMOST IN DISBELIEF at what I just saw her do. I failed in front of her as well. Afterward, she and I stood in front of each other with her looking way up at me while I looked way down at her. I thought she would be turned off after she outlifted me but her strength being far superior to mine actually turned the both of us on. She and I began kissing each other tenderly while we were both caressing each other. However, it didn't advance beyond that because it was still early in our relationship. I was barechested so we noticed that I stood so much taller than she did that my nipples actually rose above her mouth!

HandsomeRaj · Answer

Maintaining proper weight and a good form / body certainly requires hard work whether someone has been obese or not.

You have been working hard on it and feeling good with the results is a great thing to happen. I'm sure all of us here are happy for you just as you are for yourself now.

I don't understand statistics and measurements that you have mentioned out here as I believe that the actual look of the person can be very different viz-a-viz the measurements and stats.

Coming to dating 'over weight girls' - for me I need to click with that girl and like her. When that happens I have obviously not looked at any other aspect since my liking her matters. So yes I will sure date the one as described in your question :)

BTW I became overweight and began gymming again 9 months ago after over 20 years since I had put on tremendous weight in the past 2 years that made me go instantly from atheletic to fat and today I'm back to being atheletic (and better :D). There are obviously tons of girls who come along to lose weight and what I've noticed is that not every girl looks good after she loses too much weight, it goes the contrary for some and actually yes. So watch how much you lose and where to stop :D

As of your problem of being 'fat' apart from health and mobility issues that can crop up owing to being over weight, you'll be surprised young lady to know the number of men who actually prefer larger women :)

tadpole25 · Answer

I would date an overweight girl, if I found her attractive otherwise and she had an interesting loveable personality. I like a girl with curves (I won't lie). But I am just as attracted to skinny women too. I like all different body types. Perhaps 250 lbs for a girl who is 5 foot 2 may be a bit much for me, but 170 is no problem for me.

Actually, there's this one girl at my school (who many people would probably think she's 40 pounds overweight), but I think she's an absolutely gorgeous 10/10, one of the top 10 most beautiful women I've seen in my entire life.

Maxen92 · Answer

Yes, there are guys who dates girls who are thin as a stick and girls who are overweight.

The funny thing is that I've seen overweight guys who are more attractive than ordinary/buff guys.

Not everything is about looks, it's more important that the person in question has a good personality and can be trusted.

Who cares if guys think you're fat or not, you shouldn't be the one adapting to them, you should solely do this because YOU want it, not somebody else.

Otherwise, you are being taken advantage of, you have become someone else instead.

TurbulentDan12 · Answer

First off a huge congratulations on the weight loss! That's awesome I'm sure it feels great. Keep it going!

And I have to say I absolutely would go for it because I am going for it now. While my girlfriend is not huge, by BMI scales she is overweight and I think she is beautiful. And pretty much everyone agrees with me. I could go on about her but that's not what this question is asking lol. A pretty face is way more important at the end of the day than a nice body.

But that's never an excuse to not be healthy. Of course stay healthy and try to get to the healthiest weight you can. Your confidence will only grow :)

TheGoodTheBadTheHOT · Answer

Honestly, I don't think I would. I mean I'm simply not attracted to overweight women because I'm a slight fitness freak.

Once the weight is lost or at least a large amount of it was lost then id become more and more interested. I'm not exactly proud of it, but I am very superficial when it comes to starting a relationship with personality coming after.

By the way, congratulations on the progress. Really impressive. At your weight I wouldn't call you fat, 'chubby' would probably be the word of choice. Which is certainly better.

Best of wishes for the rest of yoyr journey, I hope you reach your goals. Just make sure not to overreach and lose too much, its not a good look.

Erwin · Answer

I used to date a girl who was slim and then after a while she got fat because she suddenly starts eating a lot. I didn't dump her though and in my eyes she was still as attractive as when she was slim. I suppose if you really like someone weight doesn't really matter (though she did slim down a lot after that).

Personally I've seen some skinny dudes who are dating a girl twice their size. Recently my friend who used to be overweight back in high school married a really handsome guy. She has lost a lot of weight but still can be considered chubby. It's a good thing that you're trying to reduce your weight, being overweight is not an excuse to be lazy. Improving your appearance definitely can't hurt in the long run.

SteelyMcBeam · Answer

Yes; you are very datable right now because you aren't giving up -you are taking action!

You are not a dreamer; you have ambitions and you see plans through. That's a REQUIREMENT for girls I date. I am sincerely happy for you.

I'm trying to go the other direction and gain weight (muscle) because I am kind of on the scrawny side. I feel like I am making some progress but have a looong way to go still. I probably won't see any results for another year or so because putting muscle on takes a long time.

I'm 27 / 5'8"

Current weight: 150 lbs

Body fat %: ~13% ( no six pack =( )

Nixalot · Answer

This is one of those things I don't know how to really answer. I feel like I could totally date a bigger girl, especially if I liked their personality. However, despite what I consciously think I have ever only liked really skinny girls with small boobs and the gap between their legs. And I only have ever dated the latter as well.

So there are definitely guys who want some more to love, and guys who don't. I have just come to the conclusion that some people have types set in their brain that are nigh-inescapable.

inkofthescholar · Answer

im a bit pudgy as well...ive lost 10 lbs this ast month after making it my new years resoltuion to drop weight...i go through periods of time where I have lsot a lot and gain it back but this year I wanan go all the way and my current cirucmstances have actually allowed me to really focus on it and I'm doing well...i wish you well with your plans...but YES...i actually have found a lot of girls who are a bit heavier cute and pretty...i would love to have date/date many of them...and ia daccept her as she is but imt rying to loose weight too and since she wants to and its her goal id try to be really supportive...i think it'd be fun to have a girlfriend trying to loose weight at the same time I am..we could do it together and it might be good to have that support.

animalwithin · Answer

Truthfully, no. I'm a health freak, gym 4-6 days a week, eat really clean. Working out saved my life at one point as well. The older I get the more I value a woman who takes care of her body, especially since many women use age as an excuse for being not fit as they get into their late 20s. All this said, I deeply respect you because you refused to continue being unhappy with your health and you're proactively doing something about it which separates you from many women and men for tha matter. I think the more in shape you get and the more work and heart you put into it, the more you'll come to value a fit male as well. Please don't stop working hard to lose weight, you'll get there soon, and while it may seem tough at times and that you've plateaued, keep pushing and the results in the end are worth it :)

CubanRaftRider · Answer

Depends on exactly HOW overweight she was/is. I wouldn't want to date a morbidly obese girl but overweight is fine. I am in the process of losing weight as well. It would be awesome to find a girl who is also doing that. Keep each other motivated.

With me I look at it as I have been taking care of myself and working on losing weight so why would I want someone who doesn't? Similar example: I have a full time job and have goals in life so why would I want to date a girl who was too lazy to get a job and has no ambition in life?

Congats on the weight loss. I am in a similar situation. I was 5'7 250lbs and now I am 185lbs a year later. I have learned that I actually enjoy running and I am going to be in a mini marathon in May. Still working on it also. Great job and keep it up!

mattygfromtheMD32 · Answer

I'm personally not attracted to large girls. It makes me feel like the biggest ass because I'm fat myself (though, like you, I'm losing weight). But I learned you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone and if you do you'll end up unhappy. So I'm losing weight for health and to make me less of a hypocrite. Now, when it comes to dating overweight, it all depends. I have some overweight friends who are very attractive but they're just not very overweight. I'm having trouble describing it. I'm not gonna judge a girl based on her weight. She can weigh like 170 but if she doesn't look like it, then I obviously wouldn't know or care.

This answer makes me feel like an a**hole.

Anonymous · Answer

Well, you are still overweight, but that's amazing progress.

Anyway, you don't need to be a supermodel, but you should try to be no more than 20lbs over the recommended "healthy" weight for your height. At 5'2, that would be around 125, so if you can drop below 150, I doubt you'll have very many guys automatically ruling you out for your weight.

Anyway, congratulations on your success so far, you've already accomplished more than most people ever dream of, I'm sure your success will be ongoing.

MikeK · Answer

Half the girls I've dated have been overweight... I was desperate, as pathetic as it sounds. I'd like to say I can get past a girl's weight - and see her personality... but you know, I just can't. I want to be able to pick up and carry my woman.

Now that I'm past the dating scene, I really don't think I would go for a girl who weighs more than me... I just can't do it.

Take me for example: I weigh 155 pounds - is it really going to look good if I'm paired up with a girl who weighs nearly 100 pounds more than me?...

I'm sorry... but looks DO matter

atomicraindance · Answer

My ex was self conscious about her weight too. She was the one who pursued me, and once I saw how big her heart was, I also realized how physically beautiful she really was. Only shallow jerk-offs dis a girl based solely on her weight. Keep on keepin' on girl!

Ichron · Answer

As long as I'm still physically attracted to her enough, sure.  There's a time when a girl is too big to be attracted to her any at all, but for me a lot of attraction is more than just physical.  If there's enough physical attraction, and the rest of her is great, then yeah I would.  It's hard to say what the limit is on a girl being too big because every girl carries weight differently and stuff.

PhilaPenn · Answer

Glad you are getting healthier. But do that for yourself, not anyone else. I like the gym and playing sports so I have more in common with girls who share those interests. I'm usually attracted to petite girls. But I've been attracted to some women who weren't small. I think Adele is really pretty, plus she's talented which makes her even more attractive. Beyonce isn't really thin, she's hot though. Personality and talent can definitely make a girl more attractive.

sexyasianboi26 · Answer

I don't date overweight girls, but don't let my words get to you.

You need to think, losing weight, as a golden opportunity. You are climbing on a stair, and your goal is at the top. The more you shred the fat and lose the weight, the lighter you are, and you are able to climb the ladder faster, and soon enough! you will REACH your goal.

That goal is different for everybody else, it could be your perfect body, your dream guy, whatever it is.

Keep up the work and effort.

ketfoen · Answer

In your current form and weight, I might get attracted to you if I got to know you better of course and you were awesome to hang out with and have a good personality.

I'm 5'7 and weigh 74kg, I don't think I would be attracted to you if you weighed more then 20 - 40 kg more then me.

Your ideal weight being 5'2 would be like 55 kg I think.

MyNameIsJonas · Answer

Personally I wouldn't date a girl who is overweight.  I'm a fitness freak and our lifestyles would clash. I would however encourage her to live healthier and get her weight healthy. It's as much as a health problem as it is an attraction problem for me.

Joedog · Answer

Oh man there are such hypocrites out there! Fat girls all put out easier than slim girls - from my own experience! Whether it is from low self esteem and the fact that a guy is actually interested in them. Or whether my theory that a girls appetite for sex is directly proportionate to her appetite for sex is true?

TheManHimself · Answer

don't do it, even if you don't care what people think, it has bad effects on your self-esteem, plus you are also damaging her by lying to her, you don't want to be with someone unattractive neither she wants someone who is faking his attraction to her. It is an insecure act and it is foolish.

stubbsy · Answer

I wouldn't mind, I work out often but even I have body fat, and to me, a girl who has the right attitude, and a nice personality would make you blind to what's skin deep, she would demand you looked deeper and found what she was all about, and by then, you really wouldn't care how big she was, youve seen enough to want to know more already,x

beastman88 · Answer

i have but now I wouldnt. id prefer girls that are healthy and look after their bodies. as long as I knew she was seriously trying to get healthy again id date her. as I've had weight problems as well. congrats on the good work keep it up. I was about 255 last year iam 192 right now. I still got some work to do but I feel great. it really is an uphill battle but its worth it for the end result

asdaven · Answer

First off, good work. Personally,  I think women who are too skinny are not attractive looking and I find slightly over weight far more attractive.  Wayy overweight or obese, well that's a different story.

Markezzo · Answer

Weight is just a number to me, and frankly I am very attracted to girls that are modestly chubby. If you look good despite your weight, respect yourself and make sure it doesn't affect your health I'd date someone like you no question xD

Anonymous · Answer

Your weight wouldn't stop me from starting a friendship. If over time I see you're still making really good progress towards becoming a healthier you I'd open myself up to the possibility of dating you.

That's really great you're making such good progress. Keep it up and I know you'll see the woman you want to be in the mirror one day!

Kiran04 · Answer

I think I'm done dating over-weight girls.  I've dated two or three, and they're always so insecure and mistrusting that I end up breaking up with them.  I'm tired of having my motives questioned.  I'm tired of walking on egg-shells around insecurities I do nothing by try to sooth.  I'm tired of being treated like garbage.  Over-weight girls are very unappreciative and hostile beings in my experience.  No desire to date that.

Anonymous · Answer

ive dated both ends of the spectrum and have have seen some bbw that look good (personal limit is 210 from my experiences).

But its all in how she presents herself (being confident and dressing well), if you're big and can make it look good you shouldn't have to many problems but if you're out there lookin sloppy to us (looking like the people of walmart photos) then yeah the issues abounds.

Anonymous · Answer

It depends more on the kind of person she is, and how she makes me feel. Overweight girls tend to be nicer generally -- less proud, and more accomodating!

(Btw, when we were much younger, there was this extremely plump girl working in office with us. A lot of us guys would fantasize about having sex with her. It seemed hot to us :-) She was a nice person too.)...

MyUsernameRules · Answer

I would date an overweight girl only if she's willing to continue staying healthy and losing weight. Personally, I'm a skinny guy but I've been hitting the gym for a while and quite willing to look healthy and decent so it would be nice if I found a girl like that.

TerryBlakelol · Answer

Honestly, I prefer "bigger" girls:) I used the quotes since they aren't that big to me. And especially since you are trying to lose it! That takes a lot. You aren't fat at all. I think fat is a state of mind. ANYONE can be fat but it takes extra energy to lose the weight. I won't say something like "you're beautiful no matter what" (Too generic) but you are taking charge of how you look, and I would date you.

Yellowsmurf · Answer

I would if she was fun to hang out with and I enjoyed her personality. I'd support her if she wanted to lose weight of course but I wouldn't really ask for it unless it was too much.(your weight last year was too much, this year's I'd be fine with).

I find attractiveness in all women but I'd want her to be healthy, not too fat and not too thin.

Premonition · Answer

Keep up the good Work an do it, for yourself. If you do things just for the Opposite Sex request. Than you might end up having regrets.

Good Luck in your Future of Dating an Loving but Mostly be Happy & Enjoy yourself.

Shoresy · Answer

First of all, congrats on the accomplishment! Secondly, no chance I would date a fat chick. I realize that you should look at what's on the inside but no matter what, I still have to bring a girl home that won't make my parents laugh at me.

Premonition · Answer

its all about the preference of the guys. Fat, Thick, Skinny or Petite Doesn't really matter, I just hate Lazy Ass Girls, regardless of her weight.

alexsc · Answer

Way to go tcnc, loosing that much weight.

Personally I like girls that are a little bigger but 115 kilos is probably a bit too big even for me. 77 kilos sounds like a good weight though, I bet I would find you hot the way you look now.

Lovetoanswer · Answer

It's all preference some guys like skinny girls others like realistic girls others like overweight girls. My preference is bigger girls. It's all in how you feel about yourself and not what anyone else thinks. I am glad that you are doing what makes you happy and not everyone else keep up the good work. Good luck in finding your Mr right.

Opalivian · Answer

Sorry, I prefer average weight girls. I don't want to constantly talk about food, losing weight, how to exercise, and how they lost a couple pounds today. In short...hypochondriacs. I'd like to give her piggyback rides and throw her on the bed.

KingsOfleon88 · Answer

I'm attracted to a girls face more than anything. Cute face>body.

the-man-who-knows · Answer

I have always dated women seeing who they are on the inside rather than basing it on just looks or weight. I would rather have an overweight sweet woman than a thin bit&&.

Congrats on getting healthier!

Michaelmwm19 · Answer

If she was sweet and really nice and the attraction was there I've been attracted to some over weight girls before.

Anonymous · Answer

No. Sorry. It just wouldn't cross my mind to ask out a fat girl. I'm not perfect myself, but there's a big difference between needing to remove two inches from your waist and needing to lose 50 pounds.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

To be honest even if I really liked your personality, I couldn't date you. Attraction is what separates a friend from a potential lover. We could be great friends but I couldn't date.

Anonymous · Answer

I wish that you had left the updated photos on line as I just went to check them and they were listed as deleted, I was hoping to see how good you are looking now!

HandsomeRaj · Answer

Update 7: WOW that's GREAT work! very encouraging - way to go :)

fuark · Answer

half the guys on here are lying. I want a hot girlfriend with a nice body, considering I like her personality

SwissCheeze · Answer

Don't really care but its a lot harder being an overweight guy then it is a women.   God forbid a guy doesn't have a six pack.    A lot of guys love BBW.

Anonymous · Answer

Congrats! You've worked hard, and your looks show it. You've got from probably being a 4 or so to more like an 8.

Anonymous · Answer

can you give me advice on how you are losing the weight? hopefully you have more advice than "burn more calories than consumed"

Anonymous · Answer

How did you manage losing so much weight? What's the trick? Pls share...

Anonymous · Answer

no I wont. it just doesn't work out.  I don't want to date a girl that is bigger than me

kenzy64 · Answer

to be honest , I don't mind a girl being a little curvy but if a girl is just fat that has no shape  like she is overweight like 500 lb , to me the girl doesn't seem to care about herself.

Anonymous · Answer

I think overweight girls can still be beautiful and sexy, so I have no problems with dating them.

Anonymous · Answer

I would date her only if she agreed to get fat again with an extra 26 pounds

SaltandVinegar · Answer

If she had a cute face, we got along, and she was losing weight then yes I would date her.

Anonymous · Answer

I would date an overweight girl, but not that overweight.

animalwithin · Answer

Keep at it girl, you'll get there :)

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, I would easily date her, no problem at all..but would she date me considering that I have bear body hair!

Guys: What's your opinion on dating overweight girls?

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