I agree with star drifter. Looks is what makes you interested in a person and personality is what makes people get a long with their chosen partner but there is still the intelligence of a person to know how to act properly and know what to do in situations. Those three things are the major characteristics that a girl should have. Well that's in my opinion. Knowledge is also very important not just in studies but on what's going on around people
FYI, It looks to me like A and B are really the same answer. In my case, it's not so much what as when. In the very early phase, it's very much a physical attraction. Having felt the attraction, then personality quickly takes over and determines how well we hit it off. There are women who can say things with their eyes and have an attitude that affects body language and how they move. Then there is the voice. Some of that is part physical, but not entirely. Where do you draw the line? So it's a definite 70/70 for me.
Looks can land me, but a personality has to cement the deal. Some women just become ugly to me when I find out what they are like as a person. On the other hand, I've found some women with great personalities to be more attractive the longer I knew them.
For me looks at first, because I really don't know their personality. Their attitude will be a catalyst on what to expect from their personality. Once I establish their personality, then it takes the place of what I love most about them. Looks = interest, personality = LOVE!
It's not exactly my theory but more of a phenomena that is generally true with men. From what I have learned in psychology, men's desire for women's physical attractiveness has a negative correlation with their age. In other words, as men age increases, their demand on looks decreases. As we men age, we become wiser and put more emphasis on personality.
Good looks are what captures men attention at first. But it is personality that keeps us in the relationship and committed. So why are there so many men who seem to put looks over personality you may ask? The answer is because there are generally two different mating strategies that men use, or I should say born with. I will explain further if you like. Maybe Ill write an article on it later =)
As for me, I did have high demands on good looks when I was younger. But over time, my preference changes as many men do. Anyhow, my reason for placing higher emphasis on personality than looks is quite simple. I just want a life long companion who deserves my time, energy, and love. I want to devote all of that into a person who can touch my heart and I can trust. Good looks doesn't guarantee trustworthiness. In fact, when I know a woman is focusing too much on looks and not enough on personality, I can safely conclude that she is living life on a superficial level. If she lives life on a superficial level, then shell be loving people at that same level. Its just not deep nor meaningful enough for me. However, when a woman has good personality, it implies that she is a person of character, dignity, and trust. I will feel safe to share my life savings and intimate secrets with her without worrying about her leaving me for some superficial reasons.
So the bottom line is, as men and women age, they get wiser(I hope). And they tend to place higher value on good companionship than good looks, wealthy, power, or anything else. Having a good personality means having a good potential to be a treasured companion a long term relationship type of thing.
Agreed, in the longterm a mate with a compatible personality is more than important. As they say, looks fade with time, but personality more or less remains steady. You say that as men age, they concentrate less on looks, but more on personality. I am sorry, I would have to disagree with you there. Older men who have affairs if not always go for some younger than their wife. As for women, they place a lot of emphasis on the wealth (generally they go for older men because they are usually wealthier - 3 months ago
Answerer
The key word you used here is *affair*. Generally when we seek affair, it's only for a short term relationship. Why would personality factor in when you're sleeping with someone for a night or two? The main idea is that both men and women will be more actively seeking what is biologically imprinted in them, that is looks for me and resources for women. But over time, both sexes sort of converge into a need of companionship or good personality. - 3 months ago
Interesting ratio. Give me your theory to back it up. :) Coming from a guy, I would have that ratio to be highly unlikely. Enlighten me. - 3 months ago
When I was young, crazy and horny, looks was all I needed. Now that I am older, somewhat wiser and still horny, personality first. It takes more than two boobs and a pretty face to impress me, a woman must have a heart and a kind personality for me. But I will always peek at pretty women anyway.
My problem is that nobody looks at me with any interest no matter how good my personality is :(
I have to agree; the older you get, the more personality means in a relationship. I guess guys can be pretty shallow when they're young! - 3 months ago
Well, you have to remember that younger people aren't fully developed emotionally either. They can reproduce, but are otherwise still children in some aspects. - 3 months ago
There has to be that initial attraction! After that, personality is what counts. I'd lie if I said you had to stereotypically hot to make me look your ways. that's not what I'm saying. I have to think you're hot, good looking, cute. no one else even has to agree with me (Personal tastes are too varied). so, I guess that makes me superficial in the end, because I do think looks count. Sorry, but I have to enjoy looking at you!
The hottest guy can become unattractive if he opens his mouth and either has a cocky personality or is unintelligent. So people that say looks don't matter are full of it because looks are the bait that reel us in and personality is what determines whether or not we'll stay on the line. So they really go hand in hand.
For me, personality is what I find the most attractive. Yes, physical attractiveness is always nice, but personality definitely has more to do with it.
Poll added by question asker. Cast your vote to see the current results.
(Age:25 to 29)
When: 3 months ago
