What is wrong with me?

Question

I've never had a boyfriend.

Friends have dissed and ditched me

Guys don't really approach me.

Why are they so mean and cold?

I don't get it.

I have never had sex. Never kissed anyone other than family. Always concentrated on school and I rarely go out with friends because like I said I don't have any. I've been in trouble with the law and I do have low self esteem and health troubles sometimes. But people are NOT and are far from perfect. So what gives? Can't they understand this? or is it hopeless? I don't wanna give up on looking for friends and or a boyfriend, but it's really getting me down...and I'm already down. I keep asking but people are always like just be yourself but if that worked I would have been able to make at least SOME friends right? I had friends in high school, but ever since then, they left and now I can't make any to save my life. :-(

onemoreplease · Accepted Answer

You kind of answered yourself when you said you have been dealing with school, health and legal issues. At some point, everyone has to put their social lives on the backburner to deal with other demands, and that's life. It doesn't mean you are unlikeable.

If you want to make friends, you can't give up on meeting people. Several years ago I moved to a city where I had no friends or family... I knew absolutely no one. And I was shocked by how much effort it took just to make 2 or 3 casual friends. Jobs, group clubs and activities, internships and volunteering are all good options. Most importantly, stop having these counter-productive thoughts. Not only are you feeding into your own bad self-esteem, but you're giving off a desperate vibe that makes people uncomfortable. So, the more you're stressing out about having friends or a boyfriend, the less likely it is to happen. Be patient, put yourself around people as much as possible (even if it's just reading at a coffee shop,) and learn to be okay with just being on your own. You'll never feel really good if you can't be alone with yourself, no matter how many friends or boyfriends you have.

shadwspeeder · Accepted Answer

We'll be here to talk to you anytime! :D

Your probably just not meeting the right kind of guy around... it's hard to find a guy that isn't slutty, or looking for a relationship for the wrong reasons... or just doesn't like you... but I'm sure you'll find one someday! XD Being yourself is literally all it takes. Sometimes... I only get asked out by at least a guy or two a year... If you see a guy you like, go after him.

Grabowski · Accepted Answer

Here's the thing: You are wrong to think that you need someone to find happiness. Happiness is a state of mind. You have got to be happy being on your own. Then, and only then, you will find happiness with a guy (or a girl, depending on your sexual orientation). Being a couple is actually is more of a challenge when it comes to find happiness. When you see a couple, it is wrong to assume that just because they are a couple they are happier than you. NOT SO, MY DEAR! NOT SO! I have seen too mant od thw so called "The Adams Family" if you know what I mean.

I have seen too many people that, for one reason or another stick with their "partner" and they are, let me just say-please forgive the profanity' f***ing miserable to the point that they were better off alone. REALLY! My parents are examples! In the end, they are, not only created hell for each other but also, for my brother and I. FUCKIN' EH! We certainly (my brother and I) didn't deserve that!

stevo · Accepted Answer

People can be so cruel. Yes, you're right, people are far from perfect. But that doesn't give them the right to pass judgement on you because you've never had a boyfriend or what not, forget what they think. Chin up. You are busy with school and such, so don't worry about it. If people don't want to be your friend, then hey, their loss. Since they've dissed and ditched you, you are far, very far, better off without them. You need people to be supportive of you, not critical.

But know this, god never closes one door, without opening up another. There will be plenty of new friends and even a boyfriend for you waiting in the wings. I wish you the best : )

What is wrong with me?

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