Is confidence overrated?

Confidence is just part of a personality trait needed really to find a healthy relationship, for lack of it will lead to low self esteem,insecurity issues,control issues list is long its a combination of morality, intelligence,honesty,genuine, non judgmental ,over all some or most of these will make for well rounded person, confidence can easily be confused for arrogance, or conceit and there is no such thing as "its a fact" in pertinence to people in general there are all sorts be it male o are female, rich or poor,thin or large people have learned behaviors, genetic make up, its many things combined that make for a person whom has the capacity to give what the making and building of a relationship entails...Its complicated...Its work...Like anything else anything worth having does t come easy ...Same stands in relationship ...You have to be willing and able to do what is required...Any how confidence is nice ...Necessary as well..But its only the tip of the iceberg in the love /relationship world.

Actually, confidence really is a big turn on...or at least it is for me...The man I am currently interested in has confidence comming out his pores. He doen't drive a fancy car, he makes an average income...he is average looking...actually a bit on the short side...only about an inch or so taller than me...but he has that cocky, confident attitude. That, and he has the most amazing personality...and, a huge...smile...
All in all, a very sexy package...
As to your last question. I suspect that the men in question are only going for the physically perfect women...who perhaps don't have as much invested in being easy going. Often they can get by on looke...so...don't know...
Just know I love a man who is confident!

Confidence is definitely not overrated. It makes everyone look better. When we walk down the street or something and see an unattractive guy having a good time with his friends and acting confident, he automatically looks more attractive. When a guy is sure of himself he is just more attractive to everyone. There are popular, unattractive guys at my high shcool and they get the girls attention just because they are confident in themselves and there are also cute guys who have no confidence who girls want nothing to do with because of their lack of confidence.

And yes its true. We do judge whether we would like to get to know a guy in a matter of seconds. We look at him and we either find him attractive or we don't. If we don't find him attractive, we don't want to get to know him. Its really that simple...

There is a fine line between confident and cocky.

uh ya, we'll make a judgment on his cute or not, but then we get to know them...but if you're confident, you come out from the background and you're 'out there' and we notice you more and want to talk to you more. ALthough there are girls who would rather a shy, sweet guy...so it depends on the girl, be yourself, you'll find someone!

I'd just like you to point me in the direction of the book, research article, etc. that proves it as a fact that women are more judgemental. Because frankly, for one, I resent that comment. And for two, I am WAY less judgemental than pretty much all of my guy friends.

As far as the "Whenever a woman sees a guy,the woman has judged the guy already as to if she'd like to get to know him or not," that's not always true, it's not for me. And, I've read several times that guys will judge within 30 seconds of meeting a girl whether he'd sleep with her or not.

And yes, confidence is a lot. I have some homely friends that get girls and guys more than some of the most beautiful of them, because they are just confident.

Yea I think confidence is overrated.

On another note I do not think women are more judgmental than women. Men and women are equally as judgmental.

confidence is key but not cockiness. I think you need to have the confidence to hold your head up and to defend what you feel is right, but you don't need to be dick-head.

I agree with the person asking the question, I have approached many women with already a lot of confidence and not one time did it work for me. I did learn a far different method to get women to approach me first or to at least to get their friends to tell me they liked me (I didn't read about any self-help books or anything like that) I'm not getting into this too much here but it has something to do with being content with yourself (even if your quiet like me), having an interest that takes your attention away from women and ignoring them at the same time.

Women have the same rights and priviledges that men have today, but when something is inconvenient for them (like risking rejection or hurt themselves) they quickly go back to hiding behind their gender saying that only men should have to deal with hurt feelings and rejection. Just because a guy is not afraid to approach women it don't excactly mean they are strong, good leaders or confident in other areas of their lives. I know so many of these types of guys and they are usually dependant on me for everything and are complete wastes of spaces but they are great at fooling stupid narrow minded women to buy into their routine.

As long as women know that there will be an abundance of men to keep chasing them and crawling up their "a---s" they will keep using that against us guys. I think guys already have it hard enough without overeager men making it harder yet.

I think that the reason women want men to be confident is so that the woman can be confident that the man has strength and can be a good provider. It is really the women who want to be confident, and they want the man's confidence to support theirs. That being said, I think when a man has unwavering confidence, it cripples the relationship because he can never feel vulnerable, which is part of intimacy.
With regard to why confident men fail to attract women sometimes, my guess is that confidence alone is not enough, and that confidence has to be genuine. Self confidence is almost impossible to fake, and being self confident while simultaneously showing that you have no reason to be self confident just makes you look like a douchebag.

Confidence is not overrated. Why would a girl actually WANT a guy who isn't confident? Think about that. If you place two people side by side, one with confidence and one who has none, who do you think will have the most success? Which type of guy is more attractive to a woman, one who is not afraid to approach them, one who sees himself as being of quality, one who doesn't NEED her, but WANTS her? Or do you think they will find the guy who is too scared to approach them hotter? Chances are they won't even notice him, because girls don't spend their days searching out guys who are too scared to do anything. A guy who goes after what he wants -- not just with women, but in life -- succeeds. Have you ever seen an athlete win a world championship who didn't believe he or she was good enough? How about a successful business person? No, they ALL had the confidence to take the risk and go for what they wanted. And they succeeded. Sure, you might "get lucky" from time to time by going through life with no confidence, thinking it's overrated, but I prefer to substantially increase my options. I'd rather have a choice. You control your destiny, life is too short to wait around for things to come to you.

No confidence is not overrated, if your confident you not only will have a hell of a lot better chance with women, but also in life. Now when it comes to women, hell ya you need to have confidence cause if you don't you look like a scared little puppy. By being confident you can walk into a room, look around and say you know what, I can get any one of these women, but without it, you will say man I wish I could be with her, or I really want to talk to her, but I am afraid she won't like me or want to talk to me.

It really as simple as that, if you have the balls to walk up to any girl and strike up a conversation that's being confident, that's all it takes to be confident, confident guys get the girls and the scared ones wish they could get the girl.

Women do judege just like men do, but they don't judge just his looks, they judge him by the way he carries himself, if all you have is looks and no confidence, to women all you are is a pussboy, and women will see that and move on, and guys like that always say things like I don't get it I look good, I have a cool car, I make pretty good money, why can't I get a girl friend.

good-looking and rich doesn't mean confident.

Confidence isn't everything. A butt ugly idiot can't win over a model with just confidence.

Also, overconfidence is a huge turnoff.

Dude I completely agree. Girls will make a snap judgement of someone before they even meet them. They will think a confident guy is cocky. They will think a buff guy is conceited...Chicks sucks and I hate them. You can't win with them.