Does Age Matter?

So, does age matter? The romantic in me wants to say no. If the two of you love each other, than go for it; love will conquer all. But the pragmatist in me says differently. Most relationships are difficult enough as it is, why add the social stigma of a large age difference into the mix. As forward thinking and politically correct as most of us would like to think of ourselves, society seems to display a certain level of scorn towards a woman dating a much younger man. Women who mainly date younger men are labeled as "cougars." A young woman in a relationship with an older man may be labeled either as naive or a gold digger. In either case the man is likely to be labeled a stud either for scoring a mature, experienced woman or a hot young thing.

If you are an older woman, you might be asking "What's the harm in dating someone younger than me?" Assuming both parties are of a legal and consenting age there is probably little harm in dating it can be great confidence booster to feel like you've still got it and can get a younger man. While women tend to hit their sexual peak in their mid 30's and it can last throughout their late 40's, this is the same time a man of the same age might start having problems. So a man in his 20's who is hitting his sexual peak may be pretty desirable to an older woman. Younger men also tend to be more accepting and supportive of a career woman versus an older man who may have more traditional views of women and their roles.

More serious thought should be given however if you intend for your relationship to become more serious and long term. While everything might seem great in the honeymoon stage how are you going to feel 5 or 10 years into your relationship? Will you still feel as attractive, or will you be worried that he's looking for a younger model? What if he decides he wants children and your biological clock is no longer ticking?

On the flip side if you are a young woman dating a significantly older man, you may be asking "What's the harm in dating someone older than me?" Once again we'll assume that you are not 15 and he is 30. While it might seem great to date a man with a job and a car versus an immature 15 year old boy, whose mom still has to drive him around, you have to wonder what the motivation of the older man is.

Assuming once again that you are both old enough to make such a decision there are certain factors you need to consider. "One Adult, one child and one senior please!" If you want children, think about your family dynamic. Although men can father children well into old age, is he going to want to take on kids? If so, how will your child feel about having a dad as old as his friend's grandparents? Or maybe he wants kids and you are nowhere near that point in your life.

Although there are many erectile dysfunction drugs on the market these days, is that something you want to contend with? While sex isn't everything, most couples will admit it is a big part of their relationship. If he is feeling less than confident in the bedroom, that will almost certainly affect your level of intimacy.

If his health declines as he gets older are you willing to take care of him? Is money going to be an issue if he retires with a young family? Sometimes we forget to think about long term issues when we are blinded by love. While these things may not be enough to keep you apart, they are definitely things you will want to plan for.

So, I'm not sure if age matters but maturity plays a big role. If you are both at the same level and want the same things out of your relationship, then I say go for it. Most things that are worthwhile come with a challenge and a May/December relationship is no different.