You Forgot My Birthday!

It's not that we don't care about important dates. We truly would prefer to remember all of these important moments, if for no other reason, than to not get yelled at. Although, despite how hard we try, the majority of us can't remember an important occasion to save our lives (or yours depending on exactly what we were supposed to remember). I truly cannot say why we can't remember these things. Perhaps it's the way that our brains are wired (yes we do have a brain, it's simply a conscious decision to not use them at times). Perhaps we are trying so hard to not forget something important, that we psyche ourselves out to the point that we can't remember anything. Or, maybe we are still paying for Adam's decision to bite that apple so many years ago. Truly I don't know.

What I do know, with absolute certainty, is that this little male faux pas is infuriating to women. A man could care less if another man forgets his birthday. If he remembered himself he might be hurt, but he doesn't, so there is no foul. Women, however, actually transform into a raging machine of pure fury (just like the incredible hulk, but their shirt doesn't rip, which is unfortunate for us) whenever their man has a memory lapse. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. This recognizable saying all started from a man forgetting his anniversary, and despite how much hell he hath received, I guarantee you, he forgot the following year too.

I suppose that what makes women so angry is not so much that we forget. It's that they don't believe that we CAN'T remember, but rather, that we don't care enough. Why would they believe that the men they love are not desperately trying to remember every birthday, every pedicure appointment, and all of their sonograms? Because we are able to remember so much other seemingly unimportant nonsense.

Ask a man what his birthday is, and he will probably fumble with the answer (yes, it's our fault for the hold up at the DMV, sorry), but ask him to write down all of the patterns in his home football teams playbook and he can probably do it with his eyes closed. Try asking a man to set the clock on your VCR and, actually that is fairly difficult, not the best example. We also never forget that we have to press Power twice, DVD once, Power again, set the universal changer to setting 4, hit TV, and Power again to watch a movie. But that's simple.

Truly, I don't know why we are made the way we are. All I can say is that if you want your man to remember your dates (well, to have a better chance at least), sit with him while he programs them into his TiVo system and PDA. Not only is he always around these precious devices, but the process is complicatedly simple enough that he might just remember.

Still though, if you find that you are giving birth alone, give your man a break, it takes all of our focus to develop the perfect fantasy football team after all.