Why choose boyfriend/girlfriend over family?
I don't get this, and I don't know why my sister does this all the time. I mean, she is always dating someone that my parents disapprove. my guy's... Show More
Most Helpful Opinion
i agree with you on the "making sure he is (fill in the blank)" part. most kids just get stuck in the rebellion stage and like to do that to their parents in different ways whether its through the relationships they have, the music they listen to, movies, style, behavior, etc.
other times it is because some girls really are into the loosers. I met a girl who actally looks for bad guys because they "mess around with girls" because theyre fun. and she also said she likes their attitude of being rude to people besides their girlfriend. which I find... interesting but very bewildering. I mean COME ON you're asking for some kind of abusive relationship, possibly pregnancy and STI's (Sexually Transmitted Infections).
i don't understand this to the slightest bit and probably never will but if that's what she wants then that's what she wants.
What Guys Said 3
Surely there are more important things in life than pleasing ones parents. I love them, I respect them, but I'm sure as hell not letting them choose who I hang out with. I'm an adult and if they respect me then they'll have to respect the choices that I make. I'm not telling them who to date and who to hang out with either.
Ummm... Families start as boyfriends and girlfriends. It just means that the person is more dedicated to their current relationship.
Why do girls date losers? Everyone has different levels of self-respect, different types they're attracted to, etc. but most of the time it's the fact that they think there's potential in the man, and they want to try and fix him... or they're just a bad judge of character.
Parents are ultimately there to break away from. You aren't required to clone their values, morals and taste in boyfriends. Think for yourself.
They generally have your interests at heart, so should be listened to, but your life is your own call once you are adult, so no matter what coercion they use stand up for your own decisions.
> well I guess this is the same question always asked on here... why do girls date losers?
No it isn't, but the inflated sanctity attached to parental views is a recurring theme.
What Girls Said 4
Because your parents aren't always right.
Yes, your parents usually want what's best for you, but often they have their own prejudices, assumptions, or ideas about what's "right" for you that are different from your own. As ManMandM said, eventually you are going to break away from your parents and become your own person. The person you become might be very different from who your parents are or who your parents want/expect you to be. As an adult, and even as a teen becoming an adult, you need to learn to think for yourself (even if that sometimes means making mistakes----it's okay to make mistakes, they're there for you to learn from).
You can listen to your parents' point of view, but in the end, its your decision about who you date. Sometimes your parents might be right---they might see something in a person that you cannot see. On the other hand, they can be wrong a lot of the times. I've seen a lot of parents disapprove about who their children date because that person's culture/race, religion, socioeconomic background, etc. or simply because they haven't gotten to know the person yet.
My boyfriend's parents didn't think I was right for their son when we first started dating. My boyfriend's previous serious girlfriend was very bubbly, outgoing, and talkative, even around strangers. On the other hand, I'm pretty shy and quiet until I get to know people, so I was a pretty sharp contrast to his last girlfriend and they took my quietness to mean that I was unfriendly and unsociable---until they get to know me, and now they like me a lot.
Someone has to date the losers...
I feel kinda scarred by some of what my parents have ingrained in me with the strictness and what to do what not to do. I just want to move out and get out to learn for myself and become my own person. Of course kids should respect and listen to their parents. But I think parents don't understand not all kids can be controlled. Up to a certain age, they need to be treated like an adult who can make decisions and think for themselves and not a kid. And when they start rebelling they really need love and support not constant brandishment by the family.