Lunch with ex boyfriend, what does it mean?

[Anonymous]

Guys & Gals, what does it mean when your ex boyfriend breaks up with you, then starts a new relationship 4 months later and is currently in that same committed relationship now for almost 3 months, and he has called you during the whole time for friendly chats, says he missing talking and gets emotional and upset over certain topics, now he calls and ask you to lunch but you, him and the other girl all work at the same place and your going to have lunch in the cafeteria where everyone can see you. I thought maybe they were done but if face book pages do not indicate that so I assume he is still dating her. Would she be okay with him taking his ex girlfriend to lunch, he didn't tell her but feels that I'm his friend so he doesn't care, or is there more to this action. I truly love him and want him back so I'm excited about lunch list week. Just wanted to know what other people think. Should I tell him at lunch that I miss him instead of being Ms. No Contact, wish him much happiness with her, if he's happy I'm happy for him. The truth is always the best way to go but I'm confused and wanted some advice. Thanks

[Anonymous]

He's not over you, guy's just don't move on. He broke up with you probably because he really did in fact love you and saw a future and committed relationship with you for the long haul. For some guys, that means cold feet. So he left you, got a rebound relationship and is testing the waters to see how you react and how he feels about it. My ex was all about me and marrying me and then left me over small arguments that if she were mature, could have worked out with me. She moved on in 3 weeks and has been seeing/sleeping with other guys and being a little party girl. There is no way if she really did in fact love me, that she'd be over me that fast (even breaking up with me). Love is a very difficult subject to handle especially when you're in it alone. I would absolutely have lunch with him, but I would remain calm and cool. Try not to mention anything about the relationship at all or anything that you miss or enjoyed from it. Let him do the talking about that, because if he brings things up he does in fact still miss you. I think that he wants to have lunch in some place neutral so there can't be any emotional outbursts. Or the only other thing is that he would be having lunch with you to show her that he's over you, which I highly doubt.

[Asker]

Thank you, well said. We were together over 6 years. I just found out that he came by my office yesterday but I had already left. Anything I get from him is good in my mind. I hope he will come back soon. I'm sorry to hear about your ex & your maturity is a most in a love realationship. I'm not out parting, I'm reading everything I can about how men are & how to have a great relationship. I have read 27 books & will continue to read more. Thank you, & good luch to you.

[candlewax]

Play it neutral and see how it goes when you have lunch with him. Don't go in with any type of agenda/script in mind. Just see what he brings up and go from there. If he brings up anything that requires some sort of decision or answer, don't decide just then. Ask if you can get back to him so you can think it over, mostly because you should. That, and it doesn't make you look desperate/too eager (assuming any pro relationship route).

[Asker]

Wow, great advice. I will do just that. Thanks for answering.

[Anonymous]

he's not over you I believe