OK...here's the situation. In a month or so, I will be going on a trip to New York for a week. I just found out that my ex-girlfriend's sister is going to be there. She seems more excited about me being there than I am just going to NYC.
A few months ago, I was dumped pretty bad by my ex. She gave me the I don't want to date anyone right now line. Along with "you are my best friend and I always want you in my life" lines too. Mind you that after two weeks of her dumping me, she is already dating someone else. She doesn't return my phone calls or emails. Pretty much cutting me out of her life. I fell in love with her and she tossed me aside.
Well, her sister was there when all of this was going down. So she knows exactly what my ex did to me. Her sister and I have been in contact with one another before and after the breakup. She even told me afterwards that I would be a guy that she would date too. If she was just saying that to cheer me up or not, I couldn't tell you.
So with all that said. If something may happen on this trip, should I go for it? I mean I do find her very attractive and we actually share a lot in common. I want to because...well I want to get back at my ex for crushing me. I was in pretty bad shape, especially around the holidays. But a part of me doesn't want to burn any bridges and I don't want to use her. Even after everything my ex did to me, I somehow still love her and hope that, one day, we can be together again...but knowing her, and from what she told me, it probably will never happen. Plus her sister is a sweetheart and I don't want to hurt her in anyway
I have the Angel and Devil on my shoulders. If I do or I don't, I know word will get back to my ex. Honestly though, just being in NYC with her sister just seems like it would be an amazing time. Almost romantic even. I know that sounds pretty corny but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that might turn out to be one of the most amazing times in my life that I will never forget...but also might end up being the biggest regret of my life.
Ladies, help me...what should I do?
A few months ago, I was dumped pretty bad by my ex. She gave me the I don't want to date anyone right now line. Along with "you are my best friend and I always want you in my life" lines too. Mind you that after two weeks of her dumping me, she is already dating someone else. She doesn't return my phone calls or emails. Pretty much cutting me out of her life. I fell in love with her and she tossed me aside.
Well, her sister was there when all of this was going down. So she knows exactly what my ex did to me. Her sister and I have been in contact with one another before and after the breakup. She even told me afterwards that I would be a guy that she would date too. If she was just saying that to cheer me up or not, I couldn't tell you.
So with all that said. If something may happen on this trip, should I go for it? I mean I do find her very attractive and we actually share a lot in common. I want to because...well I want to get back at my ex for crushing me. I was in pretty bad shape, especially around the holidays. But a part of me doesn't want to burn any bridges and I don't want to use her. Even after everything my ex did to me, I somehow still love her and hope that, one day, we can be together again...but knowing her, and from what she told me, it probably will never happen. Plus her sister is a sweetheart and I don't want to hurt her in anyway
I have the Angel and Devil on my shoulders. If I do or I don't, I know word will get back to my ex. Honestly though, just being in NYC with her sister just seems like it would be an amazing time. Almost romantic even. I know that sounds pretty corny but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that might turn out to be one of the most amazing times in my life that I will never forget...but also might end up being the biggest regret of my life.
Ladies, help me...what should I do?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
1. She likes you. Her saying that she would date you then she was telling the truth. Even if it was jokingly. It was her hint. She could have said a lot of different things to "cheer you up." Think of the roles being reversed. What would you have meant by a statement like that?
2. Don't use her to get back at your ex. Two wrongs do not make a right.
3. I don't know if you should go for it. SHE should really consider things between her and her sister before going for it though!
4. If your ex isn't fine with her sister hooking up with you and finds out, she could make this sister very unhappy and it could cause a riff between them. If you are cool with that then fine.
5. Your ex is probably pretty over you if she is in a new relationship, but some girls are crazy about that kind of stuff even with their ex-boyfriends/ex-husbands of 17 years ago crazy.
6. Think of it this way with your ex. She likes someone else. Perhaps she didn't know that it would happen but it did. We actually can't control the chemicals that go on in our brain when we meet someone we like.
7. Relationships require a lot of work from both sides and when one or both sides break down, the end will come eventually. Relationships are like gardens, they need a little work each day in order to continue bearing good fruit.
I think you should take some time to yourself and heal. Don't rush into anything. Why not just have fun, be honest and yourself. You'll enjoy yourself more and so will the sister.
If you are still in love with her sister then I do not think that you should pursue anything with her sister or anyother girl right now for that matter. It's pretty obvious that you're still hurt from the break up and anyone that you get with right now would be a rebound. You need some you time, you need to get over her and reevaluate what you're looking for. From what it sounds like her sister is into you and maybe she always was but if you take a chance you could ruin a lot for yourself like the friendship with the sister and maybe a relationship with your ex in the future. Take a few months to yourself and if in that time you think you might want to start something with the sister because you like her then go for it, but make sure that you do it for the right reasons and not because you want to get back at your ex. It's not right or fair to use people for your own selfish benefit, besides imagine if you were on the other side of the fence I'm sure you wouldn't want to be treated like that. Right now you should look forward to having some fun on your trip sightseeing and enjoying yourself while you're here in the Big Apple.
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