Why does my ex want to see me if he has a new girlfriend?

I was with my boyfriend for 5 years, and we broke up a little over a year ago. He has a new girlfriend, but he has been texting me like once a week the past few weeks. He is flirty in the texts, and he told me I was the best (sex) he ever had. He said that we should have a drink together sometime soon and that he wants to catch up with me. I haven't seen him in a year! He was my best friend. How should I be taking this? What do you think it means? Why did he ask me out for a drink but not to say, lunch in broad daylight?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like he is seeing if you still have feelings for him and he wants an ego boost. The other reason he may be contacting you is because he wants to meet up and see if you will have sex with him. I don't think he is missing you he is just missing the sex and he wants to use you. He also maybe not getting it from his new girlfriend. The best thing you can do is stop all contact with him. This is not healthy or good for you, him or his girlfriend. How do you think she would feel if she found out and would you like it if your partner was messaging an ex or wanting to meet up with them? No!

    To move on from this guy and get on with your life you need to cut out all contact with him, delete his details, ignore his calls and messages and don't meet up with him. Go out and have fun with your friends, enjoy your life, do the things you want to do and you will meet someone else when the time is right and when you least expect it. You are still quite young and someone will come along and give you the respect you deserve.

    It is clear your ex just wants to use you for sex, if he wanted more and felt more towards you then he would say that he misses you etc not just say that the sex was great!


What Guys Said 5

  • Let's see, he talkin' dirty to you, has reduced you to a potential orgasm, and wants to get you liquored up. Meanwhile, he has new woman and just can't wait to get out there and cheat on the poor lass. How should you take this? Save his texts and share them with his new woman. Then scrape this horndawg loser off the bottom of your boots and go take a very long, hot shower.

  • You two have a long history together. Clearly he's still very much attracted to you, or else he wouldn't be sexual at all in the text.

    Chances are, his girlfriend doesn't know how he's texting you.

    As far as what it means, I'd say he wants to see you again, and "feel out" the situation to see just how close you two could be. Things might be cold with his current girlfriend, it's likely that he thinks better of your past relationship by comparison.

    The way to take this would be "with caution." He's dating someone else. You were never just a quick hookup, you have five years of backstory. Figure out what YOU might want out of an encounter with him. If it's just a chance to catch up, meet somewhere public. If you'd like to see where things could go, invite him to an old spot you guys used to go often.

    Just bear in mind all the facts you laid out for us, and you'll figure out what you want.

  • He obviously wants to have sex with you. If you wanna have a friendship with him, state your boundaries and keep a distance for a while. If he doesn't just want sex then he will wait, otherwise he will probably just blow you off slowly.

  • Sounds like he still has feelings for you and attached mainly due to the best sex he's had! So he probably doesn't have a great sexual relationship with his current that he did with you so sounds like he is trying to find out. Offer to go for drinks and catch up if you want but say only in the day on sat afternoon or go for a coffee and say you have to be somewhere in an hr..

    if your not interested anymore use mate in the txts as this will show you only think of him as a friend now...


  • Is everyone thinking what I'm thinking

    Why don't you have a 3-way mff with the ex

    That way everyone is happy


What Girls Said 19

  • some guys think of their ex gf's as friends with benefits. unfortunately, like he obviously is trying to hide it from his other new gf. that's pretty bad.

    i have learnt to not talk to my ex-bf, one of my exes, he's a complete douche and a pig. I pretty much bitch slapped him when he tried to like get me to have sex with him. I thought he might have changed, but some guys never change

  • I think he's just having some troubles with his girlfriend and he wants to make her jealous. As much as you love(d) him, it's best that you avoid this, otherwise you'll get caught in the moment and his girlfriend will randomly come up to you one day or something.

    He's your ex, and he has a new girlfriend. You and him were the past, him and his girlfriend are the present. You need to tell him that, so he doesn't get any strange ideas. And if perhaps you want to see him, maybe lunch would suit your relationship with him better.

    Hope I helped, xo

  • pure cheater..he's just using you! get away if you can..

  • he wants you to be his HOE !

    dont do it. you are better than that.

    move on.

    he doesn't care about u.

    if he did, YOU would be the "girlfriend"

    but hey, maybe he's just being friendly.

    find out and don't fall for any tricks !

  • he is a player.

  • because he's a loser=/

    he just wants pussy

  • well the only thing I can come up wit is maybe things aren't going soo good wit his girlfriend or he just wana have sex wit you again. lets face it a drink you both get drunk nd have hot hay sex all night so right there is da key word. if you stil dnt kno den be bold just ask him yourself. Ask him staraight if he only want sex wit u. now wateva happens between you 2 is all up to you now

  • Maybe he doesn't like his girlfriend and wants you back. Don't go out with him or anything unless he already broke up with his girlfriend, otherwise that would be cheating.

  • He is keeping you close so that when this relationship breaks up he has you as backup - which is so selfish (I know this is true because I have seen so many people do it...even subconsciously).

    You need to gain back the power and not let him control you! Show him you have the confidence to date other guys and don't respond to his every call or text at the drop of a hat. I know exes are so easy to go back to because they are familiar and the history is already there...but if it doesn't work once...then why would it work again!?



    Sometimes love comes around...and it knocks down...just get back up when it knocks you down!

  • Okay honestly forget him. Think if you were that girl would you want your man messing around with his ex. If the only thing he has time worth saying to you is you're the best sex I've ever had then he obviously is looking for that instead of a relationship with you again. My guess is yes he still has feelings for you but how strong are those feelings if he's spending his time with another woman. Think about it be the stronger person here and don't buy in to his bull sh*t. I guarntee you will be the one end up hurt in the end. He wants to have a drink with you because then the two of you may be more comfortable being buzzed. This options for things to happen you know what I mean. You spent a lot of time with this person I'm sure the sex would be great if the two of you did but would you just be thinking where is this going in the back of your head?

  • Then ask him to have lunch and if he says no then he is just trying to get you back or trying to make his girlfriend mad.

    but it also depends on why you guys broke up, because if it was over something stupid then he probably still has feelings for you and he does want you back.

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  • NO! Would you want your boyfriend do this to you? Think about it.

  • obviously he is not inlove with you anymore..he wants to have sex with you...and that's all so if you have the pride get away and try and make him move ahead with his life..

  • Saying you were the best person who gave him sex means plainly that. He does not see you as girlfriend material to break it down. I don't think he is worth it anymore. It sounds disrespectful if anything. I would say f*** you. I think you both should respect the girlfriend. Don't complicate things. Yes it's his fault for texting you back... if you do want to meet him, be a FRIEND and not a sex-ex. You don't need that bad karma. It's rude for the girlfriend and it's rude for him to go back to you for sex.

  • he probably just wanna see you and probably just misses you

  • what a wanker exactly what my ex said and did tried everything for two weeks trust me once he gets what he wants he will forget bout you all over again his got a new girlfriend he left you his obviously not satasifed at the moment with his girlfriend jus walk away from his stupidity you should know better he had 5 years too love you and that wasnt enough what makes you think just cos his sending you these msgs and wanting to catch up his being genuine his not his playin gyou please walk away he had his chance you deseerve bettter