10 Tips For Dating A Feminist

10 Tips For Dating A Feminist

In this day and age, feminist women are more and more common. Sure they might be all about girl power and women's rights, but they still date!

There's many misconceptions and stereotypes when it comes to feminism, but don't let that steer you away from dating a feminist girl! Below are 10 tips for dating a feminist woman.

1. Conversation

Don't just talk to her, engage in conversation with her. Let her thoughts and views be heard and try not to offend her or judge her. Respect her right to an opinion and she'll do the same.

2. Your Relationship With Other Women

How you treat a female waiter, your relationship with your sister or your mother, and how you treated your ex are all cues and things she will pay attention to.

3. The Bill

She won't automatically assume that you've got the bill, but you should at least offer. And if anything, you'll guys at least "go Dutch" and split the bill. And paying for her meal doesn't mean she owes you anything or that there should be strings attached.

4. Fighting Her Battles

Don't feel the need to step in and fight her battles. She can stand on her own, if she needs you; she will tag you in.

5. Don't Try To Control Or Own Her

Just like you she doesn't want to be interrogated. Don't ask her 21 questions or try to control her.

6. She's A Boss

Just because she goes for what she wants or is assertive and determined that doesn't make her a "bitch," she's a boss!

7. Miss Independent

You won't have to do everything for her. Yeah she will need you, but she can take care of herself.

8. Sexist Jokes

Don't automatically ask her, "So do you hate men?" Sexist jokes are a definite no no! You'll either have to give them up or say them when she's not around, but she better not find out!

9. Support Her Dreams And Goals

If she is a feminist she will have likely had goals and dreams before you came along. Take interest in her career and dreams and encourage and support her. Better yet, be a power couple.

10. Still Be A Gentleman

There's nothing wrong with opening her door, but don't be surprised when she opens it herself or is just as courteous to you.

Remember, just because she is a feminist that does not mean she is from another planet. At the end of the day, she just wants to be treated as an equal with respect and understanding. You should be treating everyone with respect and understanding anyways!


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What Guys Said 109

  • I've been looking for a real feminist. So far only found one and she has boyfriend she's actually one of my best friends.

    Where are all the attractive real feminists at?

  • A strong woman will tell me that I am the man she's been waiting for. An ugly woman will tell me that I'm a few pounds overweight.

  • Huh. It always seems to me feminists have a chip on their shoulder, a victim card to play. Idiotically, it seems women think that slaving away at a job is it's own reward... foolishness.

    Tips for dating a feminist:

    1. Do not date feminists.

    The end.

  • I think separating people with labels is silly for you treat every one you date in the same way, with respect

  • I'll pass on dating feminists.

  • So if she's not a feminist we should treat her differently? Why I have the feeling that you're insinuating that if she's not a feminist she's not a woman that deserves to be treated right?
    I don't like how you try to picture feminist women, like if they were more powerful than other women, like we need to put her on a pedestal. Listen, I'm gonna treat you like I think you deserve to be treated, and this is something YOU decide. Act like a bitch and you'll be treated like one. Act like a lady, and you'll be treated like one.

    If you want me to be a gentleman, act like a lady, don't demand something and call me a misogynist when I ask for you to be a lady.

    • How would you describe the behaviour of a lady?

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    • @9mfeo no, it's very possible, but for some it is impossible cause they believe being a gentleman and a lady is something of a patriarchy society, which is total bullshit.
      The girl that wrote this Take I'm pretty sure she's not a lady, at least she doesn't think like one.

    • I agree with you - I think that there is a certain standard of behaviour that humans should expect from everyone. I don't feel the need to put a label on it (gentleman/lady/parakeet/whatever) but it can simplify conversations to do so. For some feminists, "lady" calls to mind a person whose defining characteristic is that they're submissive to a man instead of just an all-around nice person (which is how I interpreted your description). Funny, isn't it, how perception of language can shape a conversation?

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  • How to date a feminist?> don't bother. Anyway the great bulk of them are unfit to f-ck anyway. I am so tired of hearing a reaction on nearly everything as seen through the lens of the patriarchy & white privilege.

    Truth is feminists are just another advocacy group trying to get as much as possible flowing their way from big daddy government. They are nothing but marxist/socialists w tits.

    • So listening to another perspective, engaging in stimulating (and perhaps taboo) conversation, and acknowledging reality turns you off? Sweetheart, you don't need to worry about avoiding or rejecting feminists! We have standards and you don't sound like our type ;)

  • I'll pass thanks. I want a down to earth girl that I can laugh, play and have fun with. This article has made me realise how much I adore my wife. Please stay far away from me feministssssssss...

  • I'm actually dating a feminist not feminazi.
    She got very offened when I paid for both haha XD

  • Only an insane person would date a feminist.

  • I wouldn't date a feminist.

    Because I don't like headaches.

    • True.. confident, intelligent, and outspoken women do have the tendency to require a man that is able to keep up with them. But in order to keep up, you need to possess at least a modicum of intelligence... otherwise it can definitely result in frequent headaches :P

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    • @carpediem93 "Wage gap" was just an excemple. As I said women in our society have the best lives.

      Now try to voice your opinions in lets say Saudi-Arabia or Iran.

  • This was a good article. I believe in gender equality if everything truly is equal. In a relationship people must split everything. Especially at our age.

  • Any man or woman who believes in "gender equality" is a feminist. And I'm not one. :P

    I'd never date a woman who doesn't know her place, especially a society which is biased against men. In a male dominated society, I'd try and tame a feminist.

    • Excuse me? TAME? What are we-- wild animals who don't know our place? Chauvinistic, privileged, and ignorant men like you are the reason why gender inequality exists.

  • I choose to date a down to earth woman who loves children and family and doesn't identify herself by any isms and I will support her.

  • Wait change the way you act and you can continue dating us? Sounds like the end of a relationship before it even starts? I'll date someone who is an egalitarian thanks.

  • one tip for dating a feminist: don't

  • I'd rather drag my nuts on broken glass than date a feminist. Come to think of it, the two aren't that dissimilar.

  • I rather date a hillbilly then a femenist no man bad or good deserves something as low as a feminist.

  • "feminist" is a red flag, i hear that word and I'd probably be like "thinks for everything" n run far, far, away

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What Girls Said 34

  • This is more like tips on how to date an independent woman who demands respect and believes in equality.

    • In other words, a feminist.

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    • Respect is earned. Just because a person demands respect doesn't mean mean he or she deserves respect

    • @Thisperson01 I don't mean she literally demands it like a toddle, but her aura and self independence makes you respect her naturally.

  • Guys think all feminists are feminazis. I hate those bitches too, I hate that they can't see a video of a girl shaking her ass on TV without thinking that's just wrong and shit. Some girls like to behave like bitches, LET THEM BE. I hate that they can't laugh at a joke, I have a really black sense of humour, make your sexist or racist joke, It's okay for me.
    I am a feminist, I can ask a guy out, and be okay with his rejection, I can change a car's wheel, I can pay my bill, and many more things.
    I can clean my house, but if I live with a man, he could help me doing the cleaning, or cook as much as I do.
    I hate that girls in Nigeria can't get education because they are girls.
    I hate that guys think they will stop being "guys" if they do the cleaning.
    I hate that sometimes people pay less to girls when they do the same work as guys.
    I hate that women get the custody of the children most of the time, sometimes moms are not better than dads.
    I hate that women (sometimes) get less years in jail cuz they have a pussy.
    I hate that people think guys are rapists because they have a dick and that it's okay if a girl wants to rape a guy.
    I hate that people think it's okay to see a girl beating a guy and that it's wrong when a guy does it. Abuse it's never okay.
    And what I hate the most is FEMINAZIS.

    I am a feminist. I love men. I support equality.

    • You Rock. Welcome to G@G!

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    • Thanks for the lovely compliment...& having such a fantastic positive attitude , all girls / women need to be like you , there are too many mean & spiteful man hating women in the Western countries. And I like Latinas... I'm married to an Italian , my little girl is blessed with lovely Latina looks from her mum.

    • Well, I like variety, I like to hear different opinions. But I can't deny that I would like to hear more women wanting REAL equality.

      Well, western countries are really far away from my home. I live in Mexico, and I was born here, so I'm 100% latina.
      Not sure about that italian stuff, I've never thought about an italian as a latina.

      Why do men hate women in the western countries, I've never heard about that.

  • Most of the things on these list should be for dating a girl in general.

  • I don't think this list was needed. This list was created for radical feminists, who just want women to be superior to men. You want them to respect you, but you have to return the favor as well. Not all feminists are man-hating, overly-sensitive bitches. I think the regular, or non-radical femenists would treat their man with the respect that they deserve in return.

  • It's just a label.

  • Lol. This has to be satire

  • A feminist supporting the idea that a men SHOULD offer to pay the bill on the first date.. what a joke.

  • To all the men here saying they wouldn't date a feminist;
    Do you agree that women are equal human beings? Do you agree that women should have the right to vote, earn equal pay and have the right to voice their opinions? Do you agree that a woman's worth is not based purely on her physical attractiveness alone?
    If so, congratulations. You are a feminist.

    • I was on board until your last line. Don't force titles on people it's only going to make them resent you.

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    • Women are not equal to men and never will be we are diffrent
      What decade are you living in this is why no man wants a feminist because we have to deal with this stupid shit we hear on a daily basis

    • i believe women are equal, but biologically different, and therefore should have different roles. what does that make me? :P

  • Is this satire? This take even turns true feminists away from feminism.

  • I laughed when I saw the the split the bill reason. Why can't she pay for the whole thing? I mean she wants all these rights? Or no? Feminists only want rights when it suits them

    • I personally like taking turns paying for dates. Like if he pays for the first then I'll pay for the second, etc.

    • Okay good for you
      But she is making it seem like men are the ones who have to pay the bill. A lot of feminists think that way

  • From all the feminist I know and have seen I can tell you this...
    1. There is no such thing as engaging a feminist in conversation... it's more you agree or be shamed/attacked.
    2. She will constantly judge your interactions with other women, looking for every opportunity to call you on "your privilege" or suppressive nature.
    3. "She won't assume you got the bill but you should offer"... Seriously! So be equal, but also be a gender stereotype and offer to pay.
    4. If you step in she will give you shit because "she's a strong independent women" but if you don't help you are guaranteed to get shit for not helping. It's lose-lose.
    5. Don't try to control her, but you better do everything she tell YOU to do or be shamed in some way.
    6. There is a difference between being a boss and a bitch. Don't fall for the lie that her rude ignorant snarky attitude isn't bitchy. It is.
    7. She can take care of herself... but you better read her mind and determine when she still needs you help and when she doesn't or you will be told!
    8. You won't be able to make ANY jokes, not just sexist ones. She will have no issue saying snarky things about men, but if you do the same back... "she better not find out!" <--- notice this quote... this is truth. If you do ANYTHING she doesn't agree with and she finds out, you will have hell to pay. Walking on egg shells constantly is no way to live.
    9. Isn't this a relationship in general?
    10. Be a gentleman. <--- the catch all. So fit into a gender role, but don't expect her to. She can do whatever she wants because she says so, but you have to be a gentleman. Oh an don't EVER ask her to act like a lady, you will be sorry.

    Summary, unless you are willing to have her think for you and want to live in constant fear of every action and word you say, and when ever you do wrong, she will add it to her list of anti-male crap. Dating a feminist would be like doing jumping jacks with Nitroglycerin in your pocket... you will be just waiting for the boom.

    • Haha this is great

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    • Wow
      Didn't expect this.

    • I love the nitroglycerin in your pocked thin.

      I told the last feminist I dated, that talking to her was like walking threw a mine field blindfolded. It was not if I would step on a mine, only when I would step on a mine.

  • How to date a feminist: You don't.

    I honestly can't stand women who identify themselves as a feminist. If a man were to go up to a woman and tell her to bash in his manliness she would get all offended and call him a sexist pig. I'm sorry but some women just need to be stopped.

  • I'm one of the few girls who are not enjoy with the whole feminist deal. If I were a guy, I'd wreck my head trying to impress a girl who is waaay into feminism. I don't think it as that bad of a deal but some just take it way too serious and it makes things had for everyone else.

    • You're not one of the few girls. Actually, young women under 30 DESPISE feminism. Feminists are usually in their 40's/50's and won't be around too much longer. Feminism peaked in the 1970's/80's.

  • Great tips, generally, but I don't think many men on GaG are interested in dating us. Like I don't even think these tips will be necessary or useful for most of their lives. lol But it's nice to put some tips out there.

    However, not all feminists are the same. Certain things will vary, but generally this applies pretty consistently.

    But most serious feminists won't find themselves trying to date men who openly disrespect or disagree with feminism. And you'll find that in specific very liberal political/social circles, there are often men who fully understand feminism, and history and politics in general, and can meet you exactly where you are. Thats the goal right there. When that happens, and he just gets it... perfection. The meeting of intelligent, conscious minds. Being with someone who can talk about things on the same wavelength is always magical. It's like your brains are f*cking too. It's so good. Thats what you should look for, in my opinion, my feministas. Although, I do know it isn't as common as the alternative, so I understand that struggle.

    • They confuse feminist and "feminazi" all the time.

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    • @Bards

      If you so much as whisper the word "feminist" on GaG, expect all shit to hit the fan. Creating a list about how to date feminists is kind of like throwing meat to the wolves.

    • Hahah yess xD

  • Love this take!! I was so scared it was going to be the way extreme feminists are, when they are strong women when they want to be, and weak women any other time. I would call myself a feminist, but I don't want to be babied. Sure, I can't lift heavy things, but I give it a damn good try to not ask for help. I want to be respected, not as a woman, but as an individual. I hate when guys look at me like "stupid woman" or that I'm too girly to get dirty or something. Also, I hate the double standards relating to sex, body hair, gender roles etc . which is more or less where the "feminism" in me comes from.

  • Could we just go with the golden rule of treating people how you want to be treated? While I guess I am a feminist by definition in that I believe in equality (I've always had mixed feelings about the term), this article seems a bit to harsh in tone. Some of these are redundant or just seem like things I don't want. I am independent, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate help when it is offered. I think some people use the independent badge as a way of covering up trust issues they have with people (though I understand not everyone can be trusted. Also, if I have standards for who I date, it's only fair that that person have standards for me. If I want respect, support, and acceptance, I should be able to give it in return, right? If not, that's called hypocrisy.


  • Please.. Feminism means equal rights for women.
    If you don't believe in equal rights for everyone than I'm not even talking to you

    • Hahaha... What do you think you know, with your whole 18 years or less of experience on the planet? I believe in equal rights. Its the Feminists that don't believe in equal rights. Maybe they did a couple decades ago, but not anymore. Get a clue.

  • this is a bit immature really
    besides, don't give them any tips, feminista are not some kind of weird animals.

    • They aren't some kind of weird animals? Prove it.

    • Yes just treat us with respect, what kind of bullshit is this.

  • Im a feminist and although these are true I'd still be willing to reverse these roles. Feminism is about equality, even if it doesn't benefit you (such as men and women being punished the same for crimes).

    My boyfriend is aware that im a feminist and he's pretty cool with it, I don't mind the sexist jokes as long as they don't go too far. But he'll know when to stop so I don't think it's an issue.

    The thing with dating a feminist is that if she has to relate everything to it, she's probably just a bitch. You can still have a laugh about sexist things but don't cross the line, you know?

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