Girls don't 'go for assholes', they just end up with them

It's not that being an asshole is initself appealing to girls (or at least not many), it's that assholes are better able to come across as disinterested. Girls like to think they are getting the better end of the deal if they date a guy - the want a guy who's better looking, a higher socail rank or richer and so on. So a guy who actually likes her and can't conceal his affection will come across as valuing her too highly, whereas the asshole won't value her anymore than countless other women and so she'll get with him thinking he's out of her league because he doesn't care what she thinks.

Imagine a second hand car sales man seems really eager to sell you a car, you'll be suspicious. That's how girls react to nice guys. If the salesman doesn't seem to care if you buy it your more likely to think he's got less to gain and so the deal is better for you. (Even though it probably isn't.)

Also rememember, there's nothing wrong with cheap dates, just don't let her know that.

Girls don't 'go for assholes', they just end up with them.


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What Girls Said 8

  • I'd say that this was true. If guys don't seem to think you have flaws and come across as way too eager, then it can be a little disconcerting. Obviously though, someone who doesn't seem interested in you at all can be off-putting too, but at least they're willing to approach you, so you give them a chance.

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    • If a guy asked you out but didn't seem attracted to you would you be inclined to say no? (Assuming you like him otherwise.)

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    • So that's probably not my main problem?

    • Probably not. Maybe you're scared of showing them that you feel that way and, because of that, you withdraw a little? Obviously, I don't know, this is me taking shots in the dark :)

  • Women do not end up with assholes because they come across as disinterested. Disinterest often puts a girl off.

    The real reasons are
    1. Insecurity. They don't believe they deserve better.
    2. The taming the bad boy fantasy.
    3. They come across as nice guys at first but show their true colours later in the realationship.

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    • "They come across as nice guys at first..."

      Acting nice actually works?

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    • But even when it's just an act?

    • Many girls don't realise its an act unfortunately. Especially the younger ones.

  • This might work on some girls, but others it might not. I know it wouldn't work on me. I don't want to have to work to get a guy interested in me. Like I shouldn't have to pretend like I'm more interesting or cooler than I really am to grab his attention. Either he'll like me for who I am or he won't. If he acts all hard to get and disinterested, then I will just assume he's not into me and will eventually become disinterested in him back. I like a guy who shows affection and that he really likes me. He doesn't have to be clingy or even show affection at first. But as long as I can see him being more and more into me, it will only make me more into him. I just can't like a person who doesn't show a good amount of interest. I see it as a waste of time and feelings.

    Playing hard to get might only work for a little while, but eventually they'll get bored when they don't get the desired results. Nobody wants to keep chasing someone forever, unless they're desperate.

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  • So only assholes take girls on expensive dates?

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    • Oh no that was just something I added on the end because I needed to include an image. (A moderator/Editor put the other one in.)

  • no assholes end up with assholes. someone whose not an asshole would never out up with one. even if they didn't know going in, they leave once they found out., and going for someone you think doesn't care is something only assholes do. asshole does not =- confidence. it = insecurity. confident people are not afraid to be humane. insecure people need the i dont give a fuck veneer bc they are terrified of being rejected.

    i would never go after a guy i thought wasn't in love with me. and i dont really get a thrill out of a guy asking me out. its all cliche. it shows greater character mini if he can accept my asking him out with grace.

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    • "no assholes end up with assholes. someone whose not an asshole would never out up with one."

      Not even if she's insecure/stupid?

  • Well if they end up with each other, she obviously chose him

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  • thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu !!!
    FINALLY !

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  • This is true for some but not all. Some women, like myself, like a clingy guy because I know that I'm out of his league and therefore he can't cheat on me because anyone he cheats on me with would have to be uglier than me and therefore defeat the purpose. Where as an asshole would come across as too confident for me and may want to cheat on me and possibly could because he knows he can do better. It really depends on the woman as with men we all have our own views on things. Personally i think it's stupid to date an asshole.

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    • Are you being serious?

    • That's really sad you go for guys like that to feel secure... And you're wrong if you think he won't cheat on you. He'll just meet another chick that also likes clingy guys and do her behind your back.

    • well, i'm not trying to say that i would allow myself to be cheated upon, i'm just saying i won't date a guy if i know for sure he'll treat me like shit. Maybe i didn't word it correctly, but i want a guy i know will treat me right, and he can't cheat if we're together 24/7, right? And who's to say i wouldn't find out anyway if it did happen and who's to say i wouldn't break up with him, really? I'm not trying to argue but i like men who are different than the usual type of guy, i like men who stand out and aren't afraid to be themselves but also show that they care about me. We can have different types, ladies.

What Guys Said 8

  • Chuckle, stick with the girls who like dates. Probably from minority cultures, who don't think in terms of leagues so much, the way you, correctly, describe a lot of mainstream US girls.

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  • So you're actually saying that girls go for assholes hahah
    I'm sorry, but you can tell if he's an asshole in less than 24 hours, if she chooses an asshole, if she doesn't see that, then she does like assholes, and that's why nothing he did put her off, cause she actually liked it

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  • The "assholes" are usually more confident and actually have the cojones to approach a female.

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    • Because an asshole doesn't value her particularly, she's just another woman, if she says no he can ask another. He just wants a woman, he doesn't care who (provided she's attractive). So he can approach her confidently because the outcome doesn't matter to him all that much.

  • Women DO got for thugs, badboys and evil sociopaths during their yougthful years. Only when a woman is used up does she go for the average guy. The average guy will never get the crazy sex she gave the badboys. The average guy will get bitched at all day, job slave and a provider... his new sad existence.

    Men stay single or just become a badboy.

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    • Once she is used up? Really?

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    • Sup Bards, what I mean is that if a girl spends her younger years banging like 50 guys on total and taking all that emotional drama it's going to show once she reaches a certain age. Most of the time married men never get the same sex her past badboy boyfriends got. The married men gets less sex as of matter fact.

    • You'll need to tag her like this, @Bards

  • You realize that what you said in the body completely contradicted the tittle, right?

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    • You just misunderstood it. They end up with assholes, they don't consciously go for a guy because he's an asshole.

    • It may not be concious, that would actually explain a lot, but threy do do it.

      "

      It's not that being an asshole is initself appealing to girls (or at least not many), it's that assholes are better able to come across as disinterested. Girls like to think they are getting the better end of the deal if they date a guy - the want a guy who's better looking, a higher socail rank or richer and so on. So a guy who actually likes her and can't conceal his affection will come across as valuing her too highly, whereas the asshole won't value her anymore than countless other women and so she'll get with him thinking he's out of her league because he doesn't care what she thinks.

      Imagine a second hand car sales man seems really eager to sell you a car, you'll be suspicious. That's how girls react to nice guys. "

    • Is there some reason you felt the need to quote that? You haven't referenced it.

  • Good metaphor though I don't agree with it.

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  • So basically women are accountable for their own actions or life decisions.

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  • "It's not that being an asshole is in itself appealing to girls"

    BOOM. The truth to all you whiny nice guys.

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