The most common question I see on here is 'I'm (insert age) and have never had a girlfriend/boyfriend. Why not?'. Now, I think I have some pretty good insights into this, that I've decided to share.
Please note, these are, of course, based on generalisations. They may not all apply to everyone, but chances are, at least one will.
Girls, you're too clingy
I get that you want someone to talk to all the time, someone to rely on, who makes you feel safe. That's what we all want, really. But I see so many girls dropping every interest and hobby they have, and expecting their boyfriend to be the same. This isn't healthy, and is going to drive him away, and make you both miserable.
You don't need to text him every hour. You don't need to see him every day (especially early in the relationship; it's different if you live together). Take care of yourself, and keep your own social life going. Be reasonable, and let him have his own, too.
Don't go through his phone or social media. Ever.
Unless he has specifically asked you to check something for him, do not go through his messages. This is something I cannot stress enough. Doing this is probably one of the biggest breaches of privacy and trust there is. It's enough to end a relationship. It doesn't matter if you think he might be cheating or not; if you no longer trust him, you need to talk to him, or end it. Don't be that girl.
Don't expect him to pay for everything
This especially counts if you're a young couple, or if neither of you earn much. Share costs of dates, outings, movies, etc. Split the bill at dinner. Even if he insists on paying, ALWAYS offer. Don't rely on him to pay every time. I've seen girls deliberately leave their wallet at home before going on a date. Just don't.
Accept him for who he is
Don't try to change him. Whether this is about what he likes, his appearance, his hobbies... If you don't like something, either don't get together, or talk to him about it. If anything is going to change, he needs to want it to change. If he doesn't, reassess your situation. Maybe it's not as big of an issue as you thought. Maybe you need to chill out. If not, and he still refuses, well, don't be in a relationship that makes you unhappy.
Don't expect everyone to find you attractive
This is for the single ladies, who are looking for a guy. It especially applies to women who are overweight/obese. I'm sorry to say this, and I wish I didn't have to, but it's true. If you carry too much weight, less people are going to find you attractive. Getting offended by this only makes it worse. If you're happy how you are, that's great. But you can't expect everyone else to like it.
Now, for the gentlemen...
Fellas, don't be such chickens
Commitment is scary. I get it. When your girlfriend approaches you, and wants to talk about your relationship, don't avoid the topic. If you need some time to think, tell her that. If she demands an answer right then and there, she doesn't care about you, only the label. But you do need to give her an answer eventually.
Ask yourself a few things:
- Do you love her? If it's too early to know, do you think you could one day?
- How do you feel when you're with her? Is conversation easy? Or is it strained?
- Can you imagine your life without her around?
It won't take you long to know what you want.
Let her have male friends
Chances are, your girlfriend is going to want/have male friends. If you can't trust her with that, you shouldn't be together. I've seen many a relationship end because a guy has repeatedly accused his girlfriend of sleeping with her friend. If you're uncomfortable, why not meet her friends, and get to know them? I can almost guarantee it'll assauge your fears.
Stand up for yourself
I know this may seem opposite to what I've just said, but I mean it. While sometimes you need to give some slack, if you're upset, angry, or confused, tell her. If there's a problem, you need to talk about it. Otherwise she'll never know, and you'll stay upset.
This is superficial, I know. But it's true. In general, women are attracted to fit, sporty guys. Not always, but usually. It's not hard, really. Just running for a few miles a few times a week will make a huge difference.
This is important, guys. If you wear the same hoodie day after day, if your clothes are stained or ill-fitting, or you simply dress inappropriately (think sweatpants at a smart-casual event), you are going to find yourself single. Take pride in your appearance.
Don't be Captain Sweatpants
And this is for all of you:
Jealousy isn't good, no matter what you think
If you're protective of each other, that's great. But there's a limit. Don't try to make your partner jealous. Just don't. And don't go around assuming that your partner is with someone else whenever you're not together. If you have any concerns, just talk to each other. A relationship based on jealousy is going to fail.