Why using misleading pictures on dating sites is doing yourself a disservice

If you've used dating sites and met with plenty of people off of them, you've probably met a few who looked nothing like their pictures. Sometimes a person can look better than their pictures or look exactly like their pictures, but most of the time they don't. That being said, there's a fine line between taking your best pictures and taking flat out misleading pictures.

Why using misleading pictures on dating sites is doing yourself a disservice

Now I'm not a superficial person, but appearance still matters somewhat. I don't expect the most knockout beautiful girl but at least somewhat physically attractive. The same goes with a girl having things in common. The girl doesn't have to be exactly like me, but if she's just attractive and has nothing in common then that wouldn't work out either. You gotta have a little combination of both, not just one or the other.

From my experience, usually the biggest deceptions from misleading pictures and info is when a girl says her body type is average or "curvy" and has pretty cute pictures but they're either face shots only, at an angle, or just outdated and once I'd meet them the girl would be like a totally different person. They'd have rolls, a massive gut, a double chin, etc and then I'd lose physical attraction. Now I don't mind a little bit of thickness or chubbiness but these women would be borderline obese.

Now sometimes they'd have good personalities and be nice, etc but I was in an awkward position because I would feel no physical attraction and couldn't force myself to and I would have felt like a dick saying that I'm not physically attracted even though they used misleading pictures.

There have been many cases of guys doing the same, whether it's lying about height, baldness, weight, or age. They don't get a free pass either.

Bottom line is there is no point in using misleading pictures because people will see what you really look like if you meet them in person and people will either like what you have or they won't. That's all there is to it. If you're honest with what you look like from the get go and the other person agrees to a date then they can't complain about your appearance or misleading pictures because they knew going in, otherwise that would make them an asshole.

I just think it's bullshit when some people who use very misleading pictures complain about how shallow their date is for not liking them the way they are when they used false advertising. Also, if you use more accurate pictures, then you'll find out who really is attracted to you.

People also have preferences too. What's attractive to one may not be attractive to another. You also figure that if a person used misleading pictures on their dating profile, then what else are they hiding?


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What Girls Said 23

  • I put a really hot photo up, along with an average looking one so they know what I look like without perfect make-up, angle and lighting.

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  • I always tried to use candid photos of myself actually living life. Not only are they more natural but they show off who you are not just what you look like. When I'd look at guys profiles if the only pics they had were selfies I wouldn't bother with them. I'd only interact with guys with candid pics.

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  • I agree - why hide who you really are from the beginning? Sure, we all choose our best picture when it comes to dating apps - but to a certain extent. If a guy looked nothing like his picture, we'd be disappointed too. It starts the date off on a negative note for no reason - be proud of who you are! That's the way to meet the right person :)

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    • Yep, it goes both ways. I get told I look just like my pictures which is good because then I know appearance in real life or using misleading pictures won't be an issue.

  • Ehh if you can't tell if a picture is edited or not, she's either a pro photoshop master OR you're too stupid... Most ofEven the picture on this take is quite obvious that she's fat even without seeing her body, just look at the neck and face (ps when I say "you" I am not specifically saying "you").

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    • Most of the time it's easy to tell if a picture is edited. Even ***

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    • That being said, I've never seen a girl take a photoshopped picture unless it was to shop another person in the picture out.

    • Maybe but you can even tell from the area just under the neck, with the clavicles

  • Yes, I agree with you 100 percent.

    I get that people want to look their best in their photos, but they are projecting an image that is not them.
    I've seen women that were unattractive in person, look like supermodels in their photos.
    They can manipulate the lighting, angle (to make themselves thinner), edit it etc.
    You cannot manipulate your real life , in the flesh image, so it's best to be honest with others.

    On the flip side,
    There's some visually attractive people (real life) that are UN-photogenic or do not look good in photos, then when you meet them real life you're shocked that they look better than what they showed.

    With that being said, I don't know why people hold such high importance in a photo... just meet the person and see for yourselves.

    What you get isn't always what you see.

    It's really the luck of the draw in this case.

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    • Nope, you can't manipulate your real life. But yeah I've had some girls who looked decent/cute in their pictures but when they're even cuter when I met them in person. That's always a plus but they gotta have a good personality too of course. A relationship based on physical attraction can't survive on its own or just on common interests.

      I don't think it's so much "importance in a photo" but you're not gonna waste your time messaging people you don't find attractive, but I also don't message women who are physically attractive but have blank/vague profiles or just no common interests either.

    • That being said, I never use misleading pictures, but my issues with online dating is the ones I've been interested in didn't like me back, after meeting them, and the ones who I ended up not being attracted to, due to misleading pictures, wanted to keep seeing me and reached out to me. I wasn't going to settle just for the sake of having a date, that's rather desperate.

  • Men use the same tactics.. Face only shots " average" or " few extra pounds" for body type.
    Lie about age and height.

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  • This take was so entertaining to read and had great advice for woman and guys! I rate it 100/10!

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    • Thanks. Yeah some people think this is insulting or shaming people's appearance but that couldn't be further from the truth.

      After all, most people don't like surprises when it comes to dating.

  • I use misleading pictures all the time I always put pictures of when I was fat or terrible angles doing the double chin picture lol

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  • When I was on dating site, I would use pictures in which I found myself looking really good. I don't think I'm ugly but I also think they are better looking woman than me. I also hate selfie it was a chore for me to do one.
    I did though it was a little misleading with my pictures.
    I though I looked really good on those pictures and the men I met all said I was better in real life than in those pictures so I fell pretty damn great afterwards.

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  • Fully agree.
    I would not feel comfortable at all if I first would show myself totally different in a picture, and then I have to meet this person face to face... awkward

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    • Yeah it's most definitely awkward. It's even more awkward for the one first messaging the person with misleading pictures because it's like we sent the first message and they want to meet up, only for us to end up not being attracted to them.

  • This is why I don't do the whole online thing. Pics I take look stunning, I look so so good in photos, it's nothing at all like me in real life. Nowhere near.

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  • Maybe you need to get off the net and date in the real world more? You seem awfully picky for someone who seems to do most of his dating online.

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    • Oh trust me, I'd much prefer dating in the real world. It's just harder to meet women in real life. I'm not that picky but I'm also not desperate. Most women I've met don't use misleading pictures but that's not the point.

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    • Jesus fucking Christ, you're missing the point again. The issue isn't that they're overweight. The issue is the deception. If a girl is overweight, I'm not gonna insult her but I'd rather know up front. There have been girls who openly put a few extra pounds, overweight, etc in their profile that I met. Difference was I knew going in.

      And by the way I did have a girl ask me what my height was even though I put it on my profile. How do you think it'd sound if I asked how many pounds she weighed?

    • And it's not a black and white thing. As I've mentioned before, a girl with a little bit of thickness, chubbiness can still be cute. It's obesity that I'm not attracted to.

  • I've never understood this either. I use photos that show the best "me," but I'm still scared guys will be disappointed when they me. I know I'm average to below average but I tend to look better in pictures. Something about the camera makes me prettier than I am. I don't dress up or wear make up and I know nothing about touching up photos. Usually I get someone else to take my picture too, so it's not about camera angles. My biggest fear is if I accept a date with a guy, he will see me and be disgusted.

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    • That's natural. I mean like I said, there's a huge difference between not looking as good as your pictures and looking absolutely nothing like your pictures.

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    • @idropz who, me or hopefuldreamer?

  • I just want to find out whatever happened to the girl whose picture you took as an example. She has been pretty much the icon of misleading pictures for ages. I hope she takes the pain and turns it into something positive, like finally losing all that weight, instead of something negative and damaging.

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    • That's news to me. I never knew she was the icon for that. Yeah that should be a message for all. If they're unhappy with their body image then they should work on it, not hide it.

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    • Weight loss is easy. Try having that personality that women don't find attractive (like introvert, shy, nice guy) and changing that. You like have to deconstruct your entire sub conscious and world and reconstruct it, and your whole life is dictated by leaving your comfort zones and doing things that you think is right, but isn't and having faith that by doing things that are not right to you, will be the best option. That's difficult.

    • You have your issues, i have mine. Let's not bother each other. Bye.

  • I always make sure to add in an ugly photo or two and at least one of me with my cane. Because I do photograph well. I'm overweight but I'm not massive (my waistline is still very much visible), I guess I'm what people would call chubby. I don't shop in the plus sizes or anything. And I make sure I'm up front about my blindness. Might as well weed out the people who'll have a problem with chubby, blind, nerds immediately no need to make a date awkward.

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  • I agree !! Nice take

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  • Everyone wants to portray themselves in a flattering light, and that's understandable. But it's important to remember that your photos should still look like you. I think people have trouble maneuvering that line. When you're competing for a date against a bunch of other people who's photos are camouflaged with makeup and filters, it's hard not to want to make yourself as appealing as you possibly can. But that deception will let you down once you meet your date in person. Better to show your real self from the beginning, and wait for a partner who will appreciate you the way you are- even online.

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    • Exactly, that way nothing about appearance or misleading pictures is an issue. Having said that, my issue is that I'm able to get a lot of dates but none of them have gone anywhere. Usually up to a date or maybe 4 maximum then out of the blue they disappear without any explanation or any sign that things went south.

    • But that's a whole different issue of it's own.

    • Online dating is rough.

  • Basically girls who ONLY have pics of their face

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  • I get what your saying and I agree, my fear of dating online is that guy who is hot isn't a male. that's my fear in 2016, this just make a dating a million times more difficult. I'm heterosexual and I have no interest in the same sex in any form.

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  • Well, it worked for my ex.

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    • Well did he look very different?

    • His body probably not, but his face did. What I liked about that pic the most were his eye shape and his smile. In real life, he had gappy teeth and the eyes of a frog.

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What Guys Said 17

  • I had a lady admit that she lied about her age - by 10 years - because she looks younger than her actual age and it "wouldn't be fair to her" to state her real age. No second date.

    I had a lady show up carrying 50-60 more pounds that appeared in her pictures (which were obviously out of date.) She was a nice lady, on a superficial level, but she was a liar. No second date.

    I eventually told a woman, before we met, that we would part ways after the first date and I would email her to indicate whether I was interested in a second date. If she was interested, she could reply to the email and let me know that she wanted to hear from me again. That gave both of us an easy way out if either of us was disappointed in the other.

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  • technically, if you're just looking to hook up it's a kind of evil but effective way of getting what you want. a girl can show up see the guy is shorter, uglier whatever than he pretended still end up having sex because well the date just ended that way and she was horny... then never text him or call him back afterward and just kind of put the experience out of her mind

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  • I've never actually experienced that - not to my knowledge at least - but I've known friends who have, and it's kinda scary. Mostly on dating sites I've experienced women lying about their age, ones who are clearly in their 40s but try to say they're 29. Lol.

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    • Oh yeah what are some of your friends scary experiences?

    • Well, one of my lady friends on a site once told me that a woman she knew there was really fat and ugly in real life but put up fake pictures to pull men in. But wait, actually I do remember one time where I got duped by a guy pretending to be an unknown Indonesian female model. "She" and I were friends for about a year before one of my other mutual friends (who was friends with her/him too) told me that 'she' really turned out to be a he, but that the girl he used in his avatar was real and was his girlfriend or something like that. Freaked me out. And then I've had a couple teens lie to me and say they were 18 but really 14, and then tried to act all sad and ashamed when I told 'em I know the truth now. You really never know who you're talking to online a lot of the time.

    • Wow that is fucked up. I can't say I've had someone pretend to be another person, especially of another gender or a girl lie about her age. Though one girl I had a date with last year had in her profile that she was 25 but was really 26 but that's not really much of a difference. And I've had girls lie about the towns they live in.

  • Lol good stuff. It's more than dating too. I have had several coworkers that use old pics on LinkedIn but now they are fat.

    Instead of misleading yourself and others, you'd think it would be better to just correct lifestyle and diet choices and be happy with themselves.

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    • Well the funny thing is, I'll see some overweight women say a guy who isn't into overweight women is shallow but refuse to date a short guy or someone who is shorter than them. Weight is something that can be worked on, unless you have a thyroid problem. A guy can't make himself taller. Not that it applies to me, I'm 6"2 but I know guys who are short and struggle because of it.

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    • Yep indeed. And the whole guys who don't like me because I'm overweight is just shifting the blame onto the guys and not taking responsibility for themselves.

    • Ya, excuses for eternity. I don't belittle anyone but I'll def be an anti fat acceptance combatant forever.

  • I think that chick in the picture is hot! I'd hit that, for real!

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  • True story. It was news. You can google.

    Lady in China pretends to be a super slim trim, young woman by using a models pic as her dating site profile picture. The middle aged man who fell for her looks dated her online for many months. He spent $9000 on a plane ticket to go meet the lady he thought was of his dreams. Then he finds this deceiving fat lady. He goes onto clobber her in rage. Police arrest him. But the lady takes back the charges and they part on friendly terms. Lesson learnt for them.

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  • if there's no real difinitive body shot you can surely assume she's heavy and embarrassed about it

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  • Girls also spend hours making themselves appear better looking than they really are with makeup, lipstick, etc.

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  • We live in a pathetic world full of pathetic people.

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  • Great Take, I agree... completely.

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  • In The Early 90'S I Was Working At A Radio Station The Phone Lines Were Jammed And Somehow A Call Got Misdirected To The Production Studio.
    This Woman Was Beyond Excited, She Just Had To Tell Someone The Great News, I Asked Her The News.
    She Said Her Trainer Said She Is Finally Ready For Competition!
    I Asked For What, She Said Body Building.
    I Asked If She Was A Muscle Bound Woman With Muscles That Are Too Big For Her Body, She Said No, My Body Is Very Toned, You Don't Have To Have Big Muscles For Body Building.
    She Asked If I Wanted To Meet And Go To Her Competition?
    I Said Sure.
    I Knocked On Her Door And A 250 Lb Woman Answers The Door, I Asked For Her And She Said, I Am Her.
    I Looked At Her And Thought You Lying Bitch!
    I Only Let Her In My Car And Drove To A Park, So I Could Rip Into Her.
    I Asked Her Why She Called The Radio Station, She Explained Again The Excitement Of What Her Trainer Said.
    I Said, You Called Excited Because You're Ready For Body Building Competition, You Said Your Body Is Toned.
    She Said, Well My Trainer Said If I Really Work Hard For The Next Couple Years I Could Be Toned And Ready, Cos That Is My Goal.
    You Lied To Me, You Had A Reason To Call And You Were Beyond Excited, No Where In Our Conversation Did You Say, Ready In A Few Years.
    You Are A Liar!
    She Agreed She Was Not Honest.
    I Have No Issues With The Way People Look, Just Be Honest.
    If You're Fat, Say I Am Fat, If You Have Very Small Boobs Don't Stuff Your Bra, If You're Honest People Will Accept You For Who You Are!
    She Felt Bad As We Were Talking, She Turned Out To Be A Very Sweet Person, Just Dishonest In The Way She Called The Radio Station.
    She Said, I Am Very Sorry For Lying, You Taught Me A Lesson.
    I Would Like To Make It Up To You And Suck Your Cock, I Want To Feel Your Cock Inside My Throat And Your Cum In My Mouth And On My Face.
    She Was Surprised When I Pulled My Pants Down, And Saw I Am Shaved Bald, This Was Early 90'S Before Anyone Did That, I Explained That I Have Been Shaving Bald About 10 Years At This Point.
    She Said Wow, I Never Thought About Shaving My Pussy.
    She Sucked My Cock Good And Hard, I Unloaded My Load Of Cum In Her Mouth, She Said Finish On My Face!
    She Asked If I Wanted To Go On A Date, I Said No, You Misrepresented Yourself, Your Whole Reason Was A Lie.
    You Apologized, But If You Lie About Who You Are, What Else Are You Willing To Lie About.
    She Agreed, And Admitted Wrong Doing Again.
    I Took Her Home And Went On My Way.

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  • Fully agreed, I try to always put at least one picture that I don't like of me, so they can see my good and my bad. If they can live with that, then things will work out great!
    If not, why waste time?

    But some people (eg catfish people) don't look to ever meet a person, they just have, not so happy lives, and try to escape into a dream land.

    Also, they crop on the 1st photo doesn't help, you can see her huge neck :P

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  • Fatsoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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  • Girls tend to do this much more often than men.

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  • Agreed

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  • I DON'T LIE ABOUT MYSELF. THIS IS RICHARD AND IT'S A VERY GOOD NAME!!!

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  • Lmaoo yea, One chick on tinder filtered so hard she looked like completely different person irl lol she hid her double chins and shit and told me that pic on tinder was while ago lol

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    • Ewww wtf. Shortwomancomplex/10 lmao

    • lol I'm just wondering what is going through people's heads when they use misleading pictures. Do they really think the other person isn't going to find out what they're hiding?

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