How to Win A Girl Over Through Text Messages

How to Win A Girl Over Through Text Messages

Throughout my dating life, I have spent a lot of time - more time than in any other phase - in the talking phase of a relationship. And let me tell you, it can be amazing, butterfly-inducing, and exciting, or it can be agonizing, awkward, or stressful. I have gotten more guys numbers than I can remember, and the way they texted gave me a pretty quick decision on whether or not it was a conversation I wanted to continue. In this MyTake, I will give you a list of ways to make a girl fall for you through text messages, based on my own personal experience.

1. Text her first!

I know this is considered the standard, but I can only think of a few guys that actually did this. When I'm left to text first every time, I start to worry that I'm annoying the guy I'm talking to, that he's not as interested in me as I thought. While I totally don't mind initiating, if a guy texts me first, I know he was thinking about me, that he wants to talk to me, and that he's going to put in the effort. It makes me smile to see his name pop up on my phone screen, unexpectedly.

2. Text her when you can have a conversation.

Evenings are great. Even if I'm in a rehearsal late, I'll see the message when I get out and be perfectly happy to talk as I'm winding down and getting in bed. If I like where things are going, I'll be perfectly happy to stay up late continuing the conversation. And we all know there's nothing quite like a little pillow talk, even if it's virtual. But in general, don't text her to start a conversation when you're about to be too busy to look at your phone unless you have something really important to say.

3. Texting is great but dates are better.

Don't get stuck in the rut of texting all day every day - ask her out already! Nothing will ever happen if you don't take her out on actual dates. The guys that I have ended up the closest too were always the ones who took the time to meet up with me and spend time together, face to face. Even if our only texting was to plan the next date, I still preferred this to texting someone who wasn't making any effort to make me a part of his every day life.

4. Tease her, kindly.

If you can joke around with a girl, making her laugh, but never forgetting to laugh at yourself too, you'll go far. I know I like guys who don't take everything - especialyl not the process of getting to know someone - too seriously. We don't need to have deep conversations right off the bat. Getting to know someone should be fun and lighthearted! The serious stuff can come later. So tease her, but be gentle - you're not trying to hurt her feelings (emojiis come in handy for sarcasm). Tell her stupid dad jokes if you want. Anything you think will make her laugh.

5. Ask her questions about herself.

And remember the answers. People love to talk about themselves, but even more, they love when the people they have shared parts of themselves with remember these things. Questions show you're interested in her. Remembering her answers shows you care. It won't go unnoticed.

6. Use her name, sometimes.

For some reason, if a guy says my name at the right moment, it can be a HUGE turn on. There's something so personal and sweet about having someone actually use your name. Waiting for the right moment is extra important here though. It can come across as creepy if you do it too often. One great place to use a girl's name is if she has just tolf you a funny story about her day and you respond with something like "OMG [name] [maybe some laughing emojiis], that is too funny." (And don't forget to follow it up with a question or your own related story so that the conversation doesn't die! Which brings me too...

7. Give her texts she can respond to.

It's never a good idea to send "k" or "lol" but there are lots of other texts that can close off a conversation. Before you hit send, read what you've written and think to yourself how easy or difficult it would be to come up with a response to what you've said. If it's difficult, delete and re-write your message. If you aren't giving her anything to respond to, you'll run the risk of losing her interest.

7. Don't ignore her messages.

An ignored message is a sign of disinterest. If you accidentally forget to respond, then make sure to text her first and reinitiate so she doesn't feel like you're blowing her off. You should still know when it's time to end a conversation - you don't need to be talking all day every day - but a goodbye is better than silence. Silence is where self-doubt and endless googling boys behavior and asking questions on here comes about.You want her to be confident in your interest in her, which leads me to our final point...

8. Just tell her how you feel!

If a girl keeps texting you and you don't like her, tell her you're not interested. It doesn't have to be mean, but honesty will save you both a lot of trouble. Believe me, she will survive. It's hard to do but so much better just to hear no than to keep wondering if you're feelings are reciprocated. Similarly, if you do like a girl, tell her! Don't leave her guessing. If you don't feel comfortable just saying it, then ask her out (this goes back to number 3) and show her how you feel.

Texting a girl shouldn't really be that difficult. In the past, I have stopped responding to guys who came on too strong or just didn't show any interest in getting to know me, and most often, those who never seemed to want to hang out (whether I brought it up or not). The guys that I have liked most have been the ones who texted enough to show they cared and were interested and who made an effort, through texting, to spend time together in real life.


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What Guys Said 22

  • I like this Take, and I agree with everything, except the last point (well, half of it).
    I agree that if you don't like her, you should tell her, but if you DO like her, don't tell her. I decided to tell a girl I liked her and she ended up saying that she didn't but that she wanted to keep talking and see if things ended up happening... but she never replied again.
    Unless you know 100% that she like you, don't tell her you do.

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    • I agree with you if a guy does not like something about the girl why some of men can't be honest and tell them about it. Why the have to hide things and lead the girl on? I met this guy who is very private and many things he never shared with me others he did tell me about it. SO when I used to asked him something that he did not want to answer, he simply did not reply me and left me hanging. Maybe my question made him uncomfortable who knows!! but when that happened I had to chnage subject and never go back to that question again. I never question the guy why he did not answer what I asked as he probably will get mad so I never did.

  • does this apply to girls you've met in public or those whose fb profiles you found online and accepted your add?

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  • LOL HAHAHAHAHAHHA YOU ARE DUMB

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  • What if the texting just stops and you get blocked

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  • That moment when your crush texts you first and you be like:
    i76.fastpic.ru/.../...5584c50945c4c85a8ef2e15e.jpg

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  • Its very difficult to tell if a female is interested or not. Im afraid to even try to find out because it will end up in harsh rejection.

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  • Yup, i did all off those and i am considered a relatively good texter by them if i do it on omegle for example. Most guys end up having fun chats with me.
    These tips work!

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  • Oops. #1 is not my strong point!

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    • I don't think it's anyone's, male or female. That's why I encourage it. It always feels good to have someone text you first when you're talking - that shows they're thinking about you. But no one ever wants to do it, because you have to put yourself out on a limb. I think it's something everyone should strive to do from time to time or no conversations will ever be started haha

    • Lol truuuuu

      I'll keep that in mind!

  • I would if I had a number to text, lol

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  • unless she likes you in rl texting her to win her is pointless... of course some girls are way too dumb or a really desperate for guy attention as me and some of my friends have found out , but most girls are non-winnable through text only.

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  • The problem is.. I don't want to.

    I'm too concerned about other things like:

    Work
    Computer hardware
    Games
    Jacking off

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  • Actually, this would be the exact same to guys @ girls. We all want the opposite sex to be the initiator. Guys LOVE it when a girl texts first, EVEN when he is busy. It shows she cares enough to choose him to text out of all the guys she knows. Also, lots of times guys do ask questions or ask what they should do etc. the girls just normally say I don't know or idc. That is a huge turn off for lots of guys because we want a girl who can contribute.

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  • what you said is rather idealistic. too girly. yeah all that advice is the nice and decent thing to do, but its the kind of nice that is not appreciated. yeah you say all that now but if a guy actually does all this when texting you, you're gonna think he's a weirdo.

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    • The guys that have done that for me are the ones I've ended up getting closest to. The ones that weren't didn't seem to care enough about me, so I stopped caring too.

    • The only thing she's gonna think if you do this is that your sweet and you actually care

    • @missingmylonghair sorry my experience begs to differ. but I guess people are different. some like, some dont.

  • LOL @ a female trying to tell males how to text.

    That's like the girl who always says she wants a 'nice' guy but then fucks the bad boy.

    Fact: Women don't know what they want.

    Men, don't read this MyTake. Or, at the very least, don't take the advice seriously. LMFAO.

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    • Nice that you think that but that's 100% not true. These steps are more about human decency and and the courtesy anyone deserve, especially at the beginning of what might be a romantic relationship.

    • No, it is true. Sorry but it has been proven that people don't know what they want. Countless times. REALLY countless times. Most things work subconsciously. Nobody knows what those things are until they study it. So yes, you are wrong, sorry, because the things that you THINK you are attracted to are no the things that you ARE attracted to. This article isn't scientific, it's your opinion, and it's incorrect in a very fundamental way.

      Now, @thekawaiikiwi is wrong too. He thinks that a man writing this article, and maybe saying "be aggressive" would make it correct. It wouldn't.

      Here's the thing with "nice guys" and these myTakes. Nice guys are okay as long as YOU ARE a nice guy. If you fake being a nice guy, you repel people away. If you fake being an asshole, you repel people away. If you genuinely are a nice guy (or an asshole), some people will WORSHIP you.

      Step-by-step guides like this are a stupid illusion, whoever writes them.

    • *whoever it is that

  • Texting should be kept to discussing dates and other plans, not talking... talking is done in person.

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    • I agree with you to an extent. Sometimes you have to text a little first to decide if you want to take the time to go on that first date - especially if this person is a near stranger. However, I do think texting should be kept to a minimum and that dates should be where you really talk

  • These only work if she's already won over, it seems. If she's not interested, chances are none of this will work lol

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  • Stopped reading at "text her first". If the woman is not going to put in any effort.. she's not worth my time. Or any self respecting person's.

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    • so... it just goes to a stalemate of no one texting anyone ever? lol

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    • I just said that it should be 50-50

    • Which I agree with.

  • I just never text for conversation. That way I don't have to think about having to text correctly!

    Also I don't know if my crush has ever texted me first besides when she was on laughing gas after getting her wisdom teeth removed, and when she wanted to trade shifts.

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  • Nah it's just so much better to be single...

    I shouldn't have to win a girl over. Why should there be such a fucking headache? Are girls supposed to try and win us over in the same way?

    Or is this more feminist bullshit?

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    • Definitely not. I this is a pretty interchangeable post.

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    • you're entitled to your opinion

    • Who's talking about opinion?

      This is a proven FACT

  • Now all I gotta do is manage to get a phone number that actually works.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Great advice for all the guys out there! 👍

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  • Interesting. Actually not a bad list as far as outlining respectful communication women tend to expect. Is there a similar list for girls to guys?

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    • Based in the comments I've gotten, most guys seem to appreciate and expect similar things so I think this is interchangeable :)

    • Cool. Thanks for the reply!

  • Does this apply to guys also? I went through the same thing al 8 points with a guy I like and he seemed quiet interested but something happened that he no longer text at all. Why he would loose interest. If I followed every 8 points and I could not whim this guy over.

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    • I feel same as u about women. Why would a girl ask me for my number i text her a few times then she stopped? I didn't even get chance to have a proper conversation pffft

    • I think it is pretty interchangeable. Unfortunately, that's happened to me quite a few times too - he just must have lost interest in something. There have been a few guys that have done all these thugs for me and vice versa but after a few days of texting or maybe a couple dates, they would start to pull away. It sucks, but at that point, it's probably not about something you could have done anything about. More likely it's one his ultimatums, whatever that might be. Like if I find out someone's a cat person, it doesn't matter how great they are. It's hard to go back. That's a bad example haha, but you get what I'm saying? At a certain point, the feelings have to be mutual and sometimes, and this is the worst part, no matter what we do they just aren't

    • Now there's my best friend who never initiates, or starts a new topic.

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