Tinder Survival Guide: 4 Fundamental Tips

So, not really a guide for surviving but hopefully for thriving. It's a landscape that in many ways mirror conventional dating and so hopefully it holds some value in both settings.


What Makes You Hot: NOT BEING BORING

I have found this to be phenomenally important when it comes to hooking up, but also when meeting someone new and getting something started. Yes, this can be taken into overdrive and you can be seen as manic or gay, but simply having funny, witty things to say constantly and having a larger than life personality (even talking passionately about uncharted 4 can work if done right) goes a MUCH longer way than some other guys superior jaw line (assuming you both matched.) While things are changing it still seems to be this general trade--she will work to look very good but you need to give her in return a really fun personality to be around.

What Gives You Confidence: NOT CHANGING FOR ANY GIRL

It's tempting on Tinder especially to try to play the chameleon. If she responds well to your jokes you keep making them if she seems to hate nice guys you give her a little crap if she seems to hate your bluntness you say sweet things. This does not work overall because you have no core truth that she can sense off of you. When a girl can tell a guy believes in something that is where confidence shines out of. Of course, this means you can't get every girl you match up with but it's important to "pick a side" as it were and stick with it. There will always be other girls who like it.


A big part of working with people towards the common good (sex) is knowing what the right questions are to ask. You want to know how often she uses tinder, how many guys she's met, and how long it took to meet them. The reason you want to do this is a) so you don't waste your time and b) so you can reduce the potentiality of triggering the creep factor.

See, you can be a good looking seemingly normal guy but if you press too hard for a number or even ask for a number before she is ready it will take her out of the moment and make her remember hey, tinder is not such a safe playground as it looks. To you you're like wait but I'm normal I'M NORMAL! but again in order to work with someone you have to see it from their point of view as well as your own.

How To Keep From Getting Down: HAVE GOALS

It can be tough on tinder probably more so in the sense that you'll encounter senseless rejection though you'll experience much less vulnerability so that'll help. The thing that gets you to actually meeting great girls though is a clear, definable goal that you WANT. Say you're looking for a girlfriend on tinder, the failures will be stepping stones instead of reasons to quit. Say you're looking to get so good at flirting that you get good hookups constantly, say you're just looking to improve your flirting in a safe space, say you're just looking for a friend of the opposite gender...everything gets put in a context.

Everything is "worth it." Every success feels like you earned it and every failure is a learning opportunity. When you float with no goal and just do tinder because people talk about it and hey you like girls then of course when you fail it will feel like you're pathetic and useless. OR you'll use it casually and not care about it and suck at it--a preferable option to getting depressed over it but still not unlocking the potential. Figure out what you want and if it's important to you to get it and if not then just let it go.

pavlove is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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What Girls Said 1

  • this is an awesome view from a girl's take: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a27579-how-to-use-tinder

    An important thing for me on tinder is to see if they guy is interesting. The only messages i respond to are either funny or something completely asinine that i have to ask "are you being serious?"

    I also think its important to have your profile reflect yourself. Show your tattoos, going on hikes, going to the bar, etc. This will allow you to much with someone you have common interests with.

    • haha damn you! you linked me to a take by a user i blocked so i wrote out a lengthy message only to realize i couldn't send it (i blocked all mods regardless of whether they offended so that i could write without being censored)

      so here it is:

      Number 4 is really interesting. I would say that shy girls aren't typically as comfortable saying that's what it is which can make a guy feel like oh she just doesn't think i'm cool and if i can get her number then i can show her better than just little text messages. Yes, some guys are rushing because they want to have sex but a lot of others just feel like texting is such a limited form of communication.

    • on your own points--i'd say you'd agree with me then on a guy's greatest strength from getting from the point of matching to the point of being with her is not be boring.

      and also that you have to reflect yourself even though obviously that won't appeal to every girl

What Guys Said 1

  • The problem with things like tinder, And other dating / hookup aps, You're pretty much stuffed if your not some jacked dude / model girl in the first place.

    Only after that is everything you have said golden advice. Haha.

    • haha thanks man

      and you make an interesting point. maybe the concept behind tinder is flawed even though most girls have one since it makes dating incredibly superficial

    • Most girls on it are just there for the ego boost of having hundreds of horny dudes want to bang then when they have no intention of dating in be first place.