Hello G@Gers, it is Tuesday but it may as well be Monday for Canadians, as we just celebrated Victoria Day and had ourselves a lovely long weekend.
And by lovely long weekend I mean I personally jam-packed it with so much shit from visiting relatives to attending events that I’m more tired now than I was before the weekend started.
Thanks for the three day weekend anyways, Drina.
Now, I was having a hard time this morning deciding what take I wanted to do; because while I’ve received a few requests of mytakes that users would like to see me cover, I have put them in my pile of “to-do” articles because I wasn’t feeling too inspired to tackle any of them today. Instead, I want to talk to you G@Gers about typical trends I see in dating that drive me up the fucking wall.
Listen, I’m no love guru or dating expert, but I’ve dated a fair bit in my near 23 years of living, and let me tell you that I’ve learned a few things. One of those things is that dating trends, tricks, or techniques are steamy, lobbing piles of horse dookie.
Before I make this intro an essay in of itself, let me tell you about some of the dating tactics that I think need to blow the fuck up and why they’re stupid.
The Don’t Text Back Ploy
I hate it when people legitimately believe that dicking with the person they are interested in is the way to go about sparking a healthy, happy relationship.
On what planet does spacing out your fucking text messages equate to the potential of bettering your standing with a person that you’re interested in? It’s one thing if you’re literally busy, that can be cleared up with a simple explanation, but if you’re one of those people who literally “wait five days before texting her” or wait “at least 45 minutes to text him back so he doesn’t think you NEED him” then you need to dive head first into a tub of mustard.
Why? Because I get creative in my punishments when people do colossally dumb shit like this. I hope it burns your eye sockets and you can’t taste right for a month.
You know what DOES work? Making the person you’re interesting a priority, while not letting it consume your life. How do you do that you might ask? Simple: text them when you get their number, text them back when you can, and when you can’t, SAY YOU CAN’T/COULDN’T. Easy peasy Papa Cheesy.
Seriously, who told people that there’s nothing sexier than somebody who waits five days to text you when they get your number? I’d like to add them to my mustard and bullshit soup.
The Power Struggle Tactic
“Whoever cares less in the relationship has the power.” ~ Some idiot
Oh lord … not another one of these emotional power-tripping, deep-fried turd nuggets. I can’t stand this crap. Raise your hand if emotional manipulation makes your dicks limp and your vageens as dry as the Sahara desert!!!
I get that there is some myth out there that acting like a total asshole somehow makes you more appealing, but let me tell you something: the only people who are attracted to that bullhonkey do not have their priorities straight OR they themselves have some fucking issues. Why would any sane person with self esteem be attracted to somebody who just doesn’t seem to care as much? If at all?
Oh right, people with self esteem issues.
Listen, let me explain something that should be common sense: if you intentionally try to seem like you care less than the other person in the relationship with the intention of making them feel desperate to gain your approval, you suck as a human being. Sure, maybe it will make them try harder and cling to you more, but your relationship is going to be based on an unhealthy foundation of insecurity and desperation. This is why mind games are not the key to having a fulfilling relationship with a person.
Relationships aren’t a power struggle; they are a partnership where the two of you should be working as captain and commander of your own love-powered Starship. Fuck the manipulation crap.
The Give it Up & Hook Em’ Method
Sigh … ladies are pretty much the primary users of this particular method. The concept basically refers to having sex with somebody for the sake of trying to hook em’ like an angelfish, not realizing you really just caught yourself a pond smelt.
If you get this reference, I love you.
Basically you try to use sex as a bargaining chip, thinking that the P or the D (in rare cases) is going to be so good that this person who you are getting to know will just drop their shit and commit to you. Most often I see girls using this tactic with a guy who isn’t showing that much interest, or even has made it clear that a relationship isn’t on the table. It’s fucking kind of sad to see.
I’m not saying you need to turn around and play the “make him wait x-amount of time game” ladies, but I am going to tell you that throwing sex at somebody isn’t going to trick them into committing to you, especially if they know they can get it with ease.
What’s even worse is when I find girls using this shit on dudes that are either fucking around with other girls or are straight up in relationships, like some serious side-chick situation. I’ve witnessed this first hand:
“Well I’ll just give it to him so good that he’ll leave her and be faithful to me.”
Like fuck honey pot; how you got em’ is how you’ll lose em’, and this applies to men and women. Don’t delude yourself. Save sex for when you feel ready to have it, don’t use it as a means to manipulate anybody, otherwise you might find yourself used and alone, wondering why all of the “good ones are taken.”
The Bear it All Arrangement
This one I’m sure people are going to disagree with, but I absolutely attest the concept of giving your SO free range over your cellphone, social media, email, and otherwise.
Some people these days are so mistrusting due to the spikes in infidelity over the years that there are legitimately couples who expect to have every password to your social media and your phone. They literally think that if you have nothing to hide, that they should have the right to read through every conversation that you have that they can’t be physically present for.
Talk about a totally unhealthy violation of privacy.
First of all, just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you become an equally active member in all of your SO’s other relationships, let alone for the reason of having ZERO TRUST in your partner. People act as though everyone is programmed to cheat, and it is your job as their partner to lead them away from potential temptation.
Listen, cheating isn’t like being on a no-carb diet and being locked in a room full of cookies and sandwiches. It’s like being put in a grocery store with a slight hunger and having the chance to make good choices or bad choices, at best. Anyone who wants to make a good choice, will and anybody who doesn’t, won't. It's that simple.
It’s the same for relationships: people who have the desire to be faithful, will be, and people who don’t want to be, will be fucking creative in getting around your all-star interference, TRUST ME. If they gotta get messenger pigeons to get outside P and D, they will.
Let me break it down to you in case I haven't made my point: it’s a violation of privacy on your partner’s end because they essentially aren’t able to have open conversations with people without having somebody criticize them. Secondly it creates what I classify as an unhealthy level of codependency in your relationship. Why do I say codependent? Because you are essentially getting so involved in this other person’s personal life that you’re nearly becoming ONE; everybody needs personal space, privacy, and independent relationships outside of your romantic relationship. If you can’t trust your partner enough that you have to read all of their facebook convos, you are not ready to be in a relationship.
Alright G@Gers, that's my list of dating trends that I feel need to die. Let me know in the comments below what dating trends YOU think need to die and why. Thank you all for reading as always and you have yourselves a good week.