Please refrain from any negative judgement. Cheating is 100% wrong, and although there is no excuse for my actions - I was young and foolish. I truly regret it.
Well here it goes. I was 22 years old, recently single after a 6-year relationship, fresh out of college, and I was fortunate enough to land a job in marketing. It was Thursday morning when I saw two gentlemen walk into the office; both were average looking. I didn't pay too much attention until my boss introduced them to me. They were going to be clients of ours. I showed them around the office and one of the guys (Alan), quickly took a liking to me. He gave me his business card and told me to give him a call.
I wasn't one to chase guys, so I went on with my day- until that evening I received an email from Alan. He told me it was nice meeting me and asked me some questions about myself. We ended up chatting via email for a month, until he finally invited me for dinner at his house. I wasn't physically attracted to him, but his personality made me want to get to know him further, so I took him up on his offer.
I got to his place, only to run into the other guy that I met at my office, Greg. Both Alan and Greg worked and lived together, and were very good friends! Alan was keen on trying to impress me, and for the next month we enjoyed going on several dates. The issue? There was no affection from my end...but this didn't stop Alan.
In fact, exactly a month after meeting me, Alan proposed! I was very hesitant and it wasn't long before Alan and I got into fights. Finally, one evening Alan was on his way to another city to visit family, and I told him that I want him to have his ring back. Alan was fuming and told me to return it to Greg.
When I got to the house Greg opened the door and I handed him the ring. Greg invited me in for a drink and to talk. A few drinks later, Greg kissed me. And I didn't stop him, because I realized that I had a crush. Unlike Alan, Greg was attractive in a boyish way to me...
Two days later, Alan came back to town and requested to see me. I was scared beyond belief, but agreed. Alan was crying and begged that we give things another try. Looking into his face, I knew that he cared about me and wanted to take care of me. So I said "let's give things another try".
Another month went by and Alan invited me to his place to have Thanksgiving dinner with some friends, and him and Greg. I came over and we ate, and a few drinks later- Alan went to his room to lie down and just Greg and I were in the living room. We were laughing and flirting, until finally Greg grabbed my hand and held it...I was so happy, and I guess we let time fly, as I turned around to see Alan standing over us, "WHAT'S GOING ON?" Greg and I quickly let go, as Alan stormed out of the house. I called him and told him "I'm sorry", and surprisingly Alan was quick to forgive.
A week later, I got a call from Alan while I was at work. "You and Greg kissed?" Before I could say a word, Alan hung up, and momentarily Greg called me. "I like you, I want to be with you, and Greg found out from a mutual friend that we kissed." My heart sank and I was speechless.
Greg and I have been together for two years so far. We fight constantly and have broken up several times. Alan has not spoken to Greg for two years, while Alan and I have spoken off and on again, as he said "I will wait for you, I love you"...
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret what I have done. And Greg is my reminder of how we got together. Shady and just so wrong... Whether it will work out or not, I don't know. I wish I hadn't hurt Alan. Only time will tell what will become of this mess.