We learn how to develop our communication skill through our environment, our family and from our past experience. We change, developed and keep on learning. But there are some conversations that no matter how "experience" we are would always be hard to do. I'm talking about those you need to plan ahead and you will always be stressful about the other side reaction- In this article I want to be more specific, I'm focusing on one conversation that we all familiar and hate: The "are we couple?" talk.
I had one or two of those in my life (OK probably a dozen). And lately I analyzed those conversations and I've written my 5 golden tips in order to make you a bit less stressful when going to do the "talk". I also want to give you 1 cool shortcut to try. Ready?
5 steps to confront the "are we a couple?" conversation:
1. PLANNING IS GOD
Don't get me wrong, I'm all about spontaneity and live the moment stuff, but- when coming to this kind of conversation you will find yourself much less stressful if you will know exactly "your part" in the play, you will be in more control and you will avoid those annoying thoughts of "what if?". BTW- if you read this article you already in the right way, read about it, talk about it with your closest friends, and consult with your family if you feel like – all of those will make you be more prepared.
2. KNOW YOUR TARGET
What do you want to achieve? Do you want them to say you are exclusive without the feeling that you made them said it? Do you want to share your feelings or just clarify the fog above this issue? Do you want to hear "I love you" or not..? Those are small details but it's important to know what expectations you have from this talk in order to achieve them and plan it correctly.
3. MY TURN YOUR TURN
Try to think about the other side reaction…probably if you're in the phase of "what are we" talk, you probably already know a bit with whom you have a business here…think about their reactions in other situations and how they deals with those issues. Try to remember what they told you about their past relationships and try to predict two optional reactions they could have. Prepare to both of those reactions, if you know you deals here with less communicative person, think on strategy that would fit his personality.
4. IT TAKES 2 FOR TANGO
I know it's sound obvious but a lot of the times (especially when we are anxious) we tend to forget to listen to the other side and we find ourselves focusing in our pre prepared speech. It's important to hear what our special one have to say, and even more important to think what they're trying to tell us. For example it could be that they're afraid of commitment and because we didn’t listen we think they don't want to be with us.
5. BE HONEST AND BRAVE
I know it’s much easier to talk about the weather, but try to think it's only one day from your whole life and probably, in a year from now you won't even remember it. That's life! You better get it out of your system and just tell them how you feel- it's all natural. Communication is the key to healthy relationship and starting any relationship with open communication will do only good to your future.
Cool shortcut as I promise….
Recently I discovered an iphone application called "JustUs" that it purpose is to avoid the "what are we?" talk and to declare that from now on the couple are exclusively dating. The app creates a special bond between the couple iphone devices and by sending it to your special someone, it will be your way to say your partner that you want to be exclusive (without the whole world to see it on FaceBook). Basically the app writes you a push notification every time your date is thinking about you and watching at your picture.
Ofir Beigell is the founder of http://capplefactory.com. Capple Factory helps bring couples together through the use of mobile apps for couples (or Capples in short). Check out our new exciting Capple called "JustUs": Just Us or in the appstore: http://itunes.apple.com/app/id454506955?.