Looks Matter & Always Will

Looks Matter & Always Will

"Looks don't matter"- You hear this a lot in the dating world, it's a statement that's basically saying that it doesn't matter how bad or good you look that's irrelevent and it's all about what's on the inside - This is true, but did you ever think there is more to this?

Whenever I hear the notion claiming that "Looks don't matter" I always giggle because it's the most false claim when it comes to anything related to dating. The thing that is most funny about this claim is that most of the time it's always said by people who are constantly putting someone like Ronnie Banks, Zayn Malik, Ariana Grande, or some other popular celebrity as their #mcm or #wcw and complimenting their looks and in some cases saying that they want to marry them ... but I thought looks don't matter? You want to know why they are saying this? Because they want to comfort people that have the unfortune of being ugly by giving them something to hold onto which is the opposite of what they truly think.

The truth is, looks do matter to an extent and anyone who is at least honest with themselves will admit it. The fact is that that the look of anything play a big part in your first impression which ultimately decides if you or anyone elsewill dig deeper or not. My favorite example is a house, let's say hypothetically that you saw this disgusting looking house that you simply couldn't compel yourself to enter but unknown to you the inside of the house was remarkably beautiful and now let's say you saw another house and that house was astonishingly beautiful but the inside was hideous which one would you most likely enter regardless of what is known to be inside? The fact is that it would take you more convincing to investigate the ugly house and it would take you little to no convincing to investigate the beautiful house, this also applies to a person's looks when it comes to dating. If a girl or boy is generally good looking then it means more people will be inclined to actually get to know him more regardless if she or he has a good personality or not? Why? Because his first impression actually allows him to show people his personality. There is no logical way for someone to exclusively see your personality first and then your looks, it's always the other way around and unfortunately your looks decides if anyone is going to want to truly see who you are on the inside - This is why your looks matter. Someone that looks like Ariana Grande is generally going to have no problem with allowing people to see her personality then someone who is ugly or below average.


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What Girls Said 14

  • Of course it does. I don't think I'd fall for Notre Dam or Shrek.

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  • It's something I've only seen people on the internet say when they're trying to advise someone. There are people who are unattractive and they know it. They also know that is the reason that they aren't succeeding with the opposite sex. I am one of those people who know I am unattractive, and I also know that is why I am not getting into relationships. It is really insulting for someone to put: "Looks don't matter, it is likely your personality."

    I know my personality isn't perfect, but I also know it's not my personality that isn't the reason men reject me. A good amount of the men who have rejected me didn't know my personality. They met me and decided without even knowing me that they didn't want to date me. They decided this before they knew anything about my personality.

    There are also the ones who do know me, but don't want to date me and yet they want to be my friends. I have many guy friends who sincerely do like me, they just don't like me romantically. One of them was one who was originally a set up. We're now extremely good friends, but he rejected me as a romantic interest.

    I've had people advice me to make myself more attractive. One person told me that she was guessing I was an overweight woman. Nope. I am very fit and I workout everyday. I eat healthy. I have a masculine looking face. If I wear baggy clothes, I get mistaken as a guy. My face is a mans face instead of a woman's face. Men don't want a woman who likes a man.

    I also get people who will say: "Well I've seen unattractive people in relationships. Explain that." Okay, sure I've seen it too. I am willing to bet those people also had many rejections before finally finding someone. An unattractive person can finally meet someone, but they have to work hard for it. And that is the point I try to make to people, it's not easy at all for an unattractive person, but people aren't willing to believe that. They have to try and say there has to be some other reason than looks.

    I'd like to know how many people those people turned down based on looks. I am willing to bet that those people are contradicting themselves.

    Then finally there is: "Lower your standards." I've never gone for an attractive guy. I know he won't like me. The problem is, ugly people aren't attracted to ugly people. So a guy who isn't attractive isn't going to want me. He wants an attractive girl. It's in human nature.

    I don't know why people don't want to admit this.

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    • "I know my personality isn't perfect, but I also know it's not my personality that isn't the reason men reject me." I meant: "I know my personality isn't perfect, but I also know it's not my personality that IS the reason men reject me." I was typing too fast and I didn't read over this before I posted it. I know it's not my personality.

  • In some ways, it shouldn't matter, but you can tell a lot about appearance if you think about it. Your phenotype is your expression of your genetics. Depending on how you dress and present yourself, you can tell if someone puts effort into how they look. From posture, walking gait, and other mannerisms, you can tell how confident someone is. An average looking person can be sexy if they have confidence and a very pretty person can appear cold and stand-offish if they choose to carry themself differently. For houses like you say, you are not going to buy and ugly house. You are not going to date someone you are not attracted to either. Doesn't even necessarily mean you are ugly if someone is not turned on by you. People like what they like, and sight plays a role in having discriminating taste.

    With all of that said, you are right that people should not be treated differently or given an unfair advantage in things were looks are irrelevant in their performance. Everyone deserves respect unless they prove otherwise in their behavior.

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  • Everybody is attractive to somebody whether it's physical emotional or both not everybody cares about the Ariana grandes or Ronnie banks of the world.

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  • Good take!

    I agree with you. Looks DO matter. I don't believe in people who say that looks don't matter. To me, it's just an excuse.
    I had some people telling me that I shouldn't think this way, but I can't and I don't want to change it. If I don't find someone physically appealing, then I have no interest in meeting them.

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    • But let me guess, if the man was filthy rich, you wouldn't care, right? I mean it's the reason why professional athletes, doctors, lawyers, etc can get ANY woman.

  • Yes, looks play apart but your attitude does too. You can be the prettiest/ most handsome person ever, but if your attitude is bad you can become the ugliest person. You can also be the ugliest person, but if you have a good attitude/personality you can look better than that pretty/handsome person. So for me, looks only is one part of the equation.

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  • Looks do matter. But beauty is highly controllable. And looks without personality are nothing

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  • I wouldn't say looks matter, they are however what one would call a key player in whether someone would approach you or not. Yes if someone is physically appealing the more likely others are to approach them. But if looks are the only thing they having going for them then you could say they are practically screwed. In my experience while someone who is attractive might approach me whether or not they are able to hold a intelligent and civilized conversation will determine whether I wish to continue conversing with them or not. If I am unable to speak my mind and have a decent conversation with them then I see no point in continuing to build a relationship, friend wise or other.

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    • What about people who don't approach because they think the person looks to pretty.

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    • I know what you were saying

    • @basketballchick4eva I am glad you get me. I notice how many women say ''looks don't matter'' when that is completely bull lol. Any person who believes a person who says that is an idiot lol.

  • Ofcourse looks matter. But even then you shouldn't demand too much.
    I mean, if you list down what your partnes HAS to look like and it is quite specific, that is just stupid. Like demanding certain cup-size, size of shoe, hair color, height etc.

    And I know that if the person is attractive, people are more likely to look past bad personality. But that is stupid too. If girl looks like ariana grande but is a horrible selfush bitch who cheats, don't come complaining. Because you choose to date that person

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    • same goes for girls too. I'm sure they do this a lot too.

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    • @Gangstartlicious women do it just as much as guys. Most don't want to admit it either.

    • Duh, that was his point. But that helps you see which girls and guys are really shallow.

  • Looks do matter, definitely. I need to be attracted to a person, to want to initiate a relationship. If he is a bad person, the Im not talking to him, no matter how hot he is - obviously

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  • Yes it's true looks matter

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  • I tend to agree with the article. First impressions are key and very important when you meet a person, even if what you see is just in seconds. I mean I doubt a man or a woman if they want to enter the dating/flirting/get to know the guy/girl world, will want to know more of that person if their first impression of that person regarldess if it is 5 seconds, is a person who is bad dressed, sloppy, not physically appealing or at least some appealing. Human beings are visual creatures men more than women of course.

    It is like when you go to a job interview for the first time. You have to dress accordingly because that is what they are going to judge you first when they see you for like 5 seconds only.

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  • I disagree with a lot of your post personally.

    1) Just because someone is good looking doesn't mean a lot of people want to get to know them if their personality is horrendous.

    2) There are some people, very few I believe, who are not physically attracted to their mate but there is something about them that makes them sexually attracted.

    3) Online interactions can show you personality before looks.

    4) While I do think the saying is to placate those who feel unattractive, it's subjective truly. That "ugly" person may be hot to someone else.

    I've always said looks and personality though.

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    • "Just because someone is good looking doesn't mean a lot of people want to get to know them if their personality is horrendous. "

      Here's the thing, regardless of what their personality is like the thing that is drawing you to even say hi to them is how they look. I'm sorry, this is the truth.

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    • What YOU do is irrelevant because that's not what many other people do. You can't project YOUR experience onto other people.

      If I feel like a person is cool, I'll walk up to them and start talking to them for a friendship. There are some people who overlook someone's profile before even engaging in a conversation to get a sense of the person. I don't base my friendships on how a person looks. That's irrelevant.

      Relationships are different.

  • -written by an ugly guy. Woohoo!

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What Guys Said 16

  • It will always matter, it's just like with food, they can put two plates with the exact same food in front of you, and you'll end up choosing the most "attractive" one, the one that's more appealing to your eyes.

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  • Ok, here is the actual science behind it: Looks matter to men, since men are visually stimulated but not so much to women. Women prefer a man who is wealthy and has a high status.

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  • Looks do matter there's a reason why I'm still single.

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  • Its all subjective.

    Let me tell you why... I've had girls be interested in me then i say something i shouldn't have and they lose interest. Has nothing to do with the way i look. thats just life mate you get over it and learn from your mistakes.

    Looks are important and i dont think that can be disputed but if you have the right attitude then people will always look past that. Personality will always win in the end cause that is what a good solid relationship is based on. Looks will only get you so far. in my opinion if you have the right attitude, work on you, work on your character then you will always attract someone no matter what you think you look like.

    And can i ask you a question? How would you react to a girl who you dont find very attractive when you first meet them?

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  • It's not that looks don't matter, it's that looks aren't the only factor. Looks aren't everything, just a very small piece of your whole self.

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  • 1. If what you're saying is true, all "ugly" people should go kill themselves right now.
    2. Thankfully, ugliness does not exist. Neither does beauty. They are mere subjective concepts. What you find ugly another one may find very attractive.
    3. Like you mentioned, "pretty" people have an easier time finding partners. However, they have trouble keeping those partners for longer than 5 minutes of conversation if they are complete assholes. Thus, they have more quantity but vastly inferior quality.

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    • You completely don't get what this guy is saying, he is just saying looks matter to everyone to an extent.

    • They are the least important factor in a lasting relationship.

  • Iol... that's why Donald trump has a model for a girlfriend. It negates your "looks always count hypothesis" POWER in men always trumps looks.

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    • Any man can vet any women with money assclown...

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    • That's besides the point, most men want women not gold diggers

    • Your opinion implies what women go for, not what men want. So don't try justify it that way. But your house analogy is good and I will say that you are correct in that sense. Looks do play a part but not so much as it does for girls (yes they can get laid easier but for many it's superficial)

  • i didn't know there were grown men who still giggle

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    • I'm 16 lol

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    • it does in my opinion.

    • Well then you're opinion is incorrect with the point of this entire mytake, your folly not mine.

  • You can just give beauty house some labour, dirty work, the frozen winter, mud, and sweat, dander and dust such as a warehouse to work in, lifting all day for $11- per hour.

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  • Everything in this world matter. Directly or indirectly, more or less.

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  • If there is one girl and then three guys interested, let's say one is attractive, the other one average and the other one pretty much f*cked in terms of looks. Most definitely she will give a chance first to the guy who is most attractive (or that she finds attractive for that matter), if he has good chemistry with her he already won and the other guys will turn invisible, but if he blows it then she will move on and give a chance to the next one. It works pretty similar to men though we may not admit it.

    Anyways, I agree with this post and anyone saying no is definitely in denial.

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  • It is typically women who say the looks don't matter nonsense and of course every non blind person cares about looks to an extent.

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  • As unfair as it is, looks matter even in things that you think they wouldn't affect. Juries are more likely to convict a less attractive defendant. Good looking people tend to make more money. Parents are even more attentive to good looking children (sad, but a study confirmed it).

    What's interesting and often overlooked is that most things which make people attractive are within their ability to control.

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  • Looks matter to me and I want to look good for girls out there too. But I have to work with what I got.

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  • "You hear this a lot in the dating world"

    eh not so much anymore from what I've seen. I haven't heard a girl in my day to day life say looks don't matter for quite some time now. We're becoming a much more looks-based society. People just have to do the best with what they have. For me though, i don't feel inhibited by my looks at all. I don't model for abercombie, but i look good enough to attract a good number of women

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    • Canada must be a whole different breed of women, because here in the United States, most girls claim looks don't matter (whether it's true or not.)

      With men, money triumphs looks. Look at Hugh Hefner, Donald Trump, professional athletes, doctors, lawyers, etc, they can get ANY girl they want because of their wealth and status.

  • why are gagers so fake?

    this post speaks truth.

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    • Obviously it does, but some people will deny it because they simply don't want to admit they act the very same way. First impressions are everything, period.

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