Okay, as the title suggest i'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend. We've been friends since the 9th grade and i'm currently 21 now. We've been dating since Feb2014 , so it's kinda fresh, but we are very close with each other.
So Just some things.. I know she's always been suicidal. When we were young she's always thought about hurting herself and.. well So have I. But recently I'v been seeing a therapist for the pass couple months, and I can honestly say I feel a-lot better about myself.
I try my hardest to bring things that the therapist teaches me into our relationship to help her, and it has slowly developed and helped her.. But she's still getting to that depressed state.
Just recently she said she really wanted to hurt herself.. and being suicidal myself.. You won't do it unless you've gotten a plan.. She said Pills, and she was really thinking about it.
She won't accept money from me to see a therapist. and i really.. i'v ran out of options =/
Most Helpful Girl
I can empathize with what you're saying here cos my first relationship was with a guy who had a lot of problems and so did I. At the outset you appear to help eachother and offer eachother the understanding and support you lack from everybody else but the only purpose a relationship like that serves is bringing you both down with together.
Really what you both are are good support systems when you're down but when one person decides to get some help or move on with their life (as you'e doing) it causes disruption in the emotional equilibrium you were both in. You're both now not in the same head space because you've chosen to breakaway from feeling depressed and you're taking steps to get better whereas your girlfriend hasn't found the courage to do that yet. Right now you're relationship won't work and I would encourage you from being in your very shoes to either take a step back and have a break or possibly leave it as friends. It's so important for you to continue getting better because you have a life to live and as much as you care and have a connection with this girl, you're also not in a position geographically to be able to help her. She has to do some of that herself and by throwing all your efforts into trying to help her you're jeopardizing your own healing and progress.
Dos she have family and friends around her that can help? At 21 it's a lot to shoulder when you feel you're the only support she has especially if she's suicidal. I'm from the UK so we have therapists on the NHS and I'm not sure if there's a way of being able to see somebody without paying in America but that could be something she could look into or at the very least see her doctor.
The bottom line is you can't make the choice for her to get better, only she can have that willpower. It might have worked when you were both down or both getting better but as it is you're both going in different directions for the foreseeable future.1
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