You ever heard the phrase nice guys finish last? Well I think there's some truth in it. You know the guys that you're friends with and they're nice, but really nerdy and meek and intense. (I'm just being real here.) But I know this guy in question is so awkward that the thoughts of having sex with him seems completely... undoable. We've kissed before but sometimes I want to really make out and it's like he can't. It's like how teenagers kiss and hang out. I'm 21 and I want more at this stage. He's nice and sweet and lovely; but my experiences with men in the past have been so f'd up that maybe I'm just programmed to believe that all men are horndogs and that's what's meant to happen. Plus we've literally said we'll give it a shot like 2 days ago and he's already referring to it as "a relationship". I've told him it's not and we're just hanging out but he's already so f'ing intense that I'm freaking out. He's too sensitive, romantic and cheesy with what he says and just wants to stare into my eyes all the time. I'm not used to being treated like this. I'm all into the romantic stuff but I want more than just holding hands and staring at each other and giving each other a peck on the lips. I don't want to rush into actual sex as I'm still a virgin (so is he) but I want more than this. (He seems content with being the way we are)
I'm just pretty confused at the minute and I need advice. He's really into me but I worry that I'm not into him as much and that probably makes me a bitch to say that but as I said, I'm keeping it real. I feel we have an emotional connection but all the cheesy crap puts me on edge and I don't know how to react in those situations. My ideal guy would be really funny and I wouldn't care if he's awkward or anything like that as long as he can also step up when he needs to. At 21 I feel trapped at the thoughts of being in the intense relationship that he wants us to be in. Btw, we've been friends for two years and he's asked me out like 5 times.
Most Helpful Girl
First, I have to know. Woman to woman, what do you women want? Because, it's
like you all complain about men being jerks and treating you poorly (which you said
you've had your own experience with), then when you get a nice who's sweet and willing
to commit. He's too nice and annoys you, so what do you want?
With that being said, it's a good question to ask yourself. I know people are
telling you "that's probably not how he really is, he just thinks that's what you want"
What if he really is that sweet, awkward, intense and romantic? Would you be able
to be with him as he is? You too have been friends for two years and since he's
asked you out 5 times and you just finally said "yes", maybe there's a reason you
never said yes to being with.
You said you're not use to being treated with respect and your other relationships
were messed up and the guys were "horndogs". Ever think that maybe you're just
scared? Since he's not trying to get into your pants and actaully stares into your
eyes, instead of always looking at your boobs. He's the opposite of what you're use to
and when we get use to being treated a certain way, it can get overwhelming when someone
starts treating us the opposite way of what we're use to. There's reason those past
relationships didn't work out. There's a reason why this guys nice gestures and
sweetness, bother you so much. It's up to you to figure out why, but don't automatically
assume it's because there's something wrong with him. Because, maybe it's not him
at all but instead you and your fear of being with a good guy. Because, you're not use
to it and you don't know know how to handle it. So, either tell him it's not gonna work out
or stay together and make it work. Either way, don't be one of those women who strings
the nice along, only to dump him later when a guy who can take charge and wants
get into your pants 10seconds after you meet him, comes along. Don't be that girl.3
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