Liking someone but not wanting a relationship, does it work this way?

[Anonymous]

If you really like someone but at the point of your life when you just want to be single and want no commitment. Is that possible? Because I always thought that if you like a person, you just want them to be yours.

[Xonen]

It is really weird like you say, but I actually feel that way right now. She's got all of the qualities I like in a girl, you might even say that she's the manifestation of what I envision when I think of my ideal partner. But at the same time, I can't see myself in a relationship with her nor do I constantly crave one. I can't explain it too clearly, but I think part of the reason I feel this way is because I think she deserves better. I don't have a job and I don't have a license or car yet. She deserves a guy who can take her out to have fun and who has enough money to make sure she's comfortable and then some. It's not like i'm giving up on the relationship though, it's more that I have some illusion that I can one day in the future be that guy she deserves? I know that there's a good chance we might not see each other again after high school though (':

[alphadoggystyle]

yes this happens all the time, a relationship is a large commitment that takes a lot of effort to work, and also you take the risk of getting emotionally hurt among other things, its time consuming too and people at some periods of their life have other things to focus on that might make it inconvenient and difficult to pursue a relationship. So its not just how much you like the person but also depends on which stage each of you are in your life for it to work, it can still work if both really want to try but it can get really difficult if the timing of starting your relationship isn't optimal.

[Anonymous]

This is a very interesting question. Yes, I suppose when you like someone, you inherently have a desire for them to be yours, but if you do not want a relationship, you may just have to - I'm trying to say this as tactfully as possible - forget about them? I mean, honestly, what is the point of liking them if you cannot pursue a relationship with them, either because of various circumstances or because you choose not to.

So, let me see if I understand this correctly: you like someone, but you don't want a relationship with them? You said you "want no commitment," so does that mean you're willing to be involved with this person but do not want to be committed to them or want them to be committed to you? This would really only work if they felt the same. You'd have to find out first if they want to be in a commitment-free "relationship," you know?

[kissablestyles]

OMG this resonated with me. I'm in such this situation right now. We are completely exclusive and in a relationship without the use of "titles" however, he will pull back constantly from me if we get too close.

[Azara]

I Thought by "does it work " you meant can it work if you're in a relationship when you don't really want one but you like the person... I don't think so. I think liking or loving are not enough. Wanting a relationship is not a default position where you just need love then you're ready. in my opinion. You have to actually want the relationship.

So I think it is possible to like and want someone but not want a relationship.

Just like you can love pizza but not be hungry. Atm.

[kissablestyles]

I still remember Matthew Hussey (dating coach) saying "The right person at the wrong time, is still the WRONG PERSON"

[reptocarl]

Yes it does happen. Especially if you just got out of a relationship and really got your heart broke. It takes time to heal and you'll never be into any relationship until after you heal

[Asker]

Does that mean that the person they like isn't good enough?

[reptocarl]

No it just means that the person isn't ready or willing to get into a major relationship at this time. It could also have to do with schooling or wanting to start a career. They're just not at a place in their lives to be in a relationship