I'm 19 and my parents won't let me date! What should I do?

My parents are both amazing people, but they're very religious and deeply old fashioned. I am 19, in college, and pursuing a degree in theoretical mathematics. Recently, a good friend of mine asked me out on a date, and I broached the topic with my parents. There was an instant firestorm and my parents insist that I'm "too young" and "not close enough to God" to start dating. I tried again and sat both of them down together to have an honest discussion about dating, and it turned into a screaming match. They say they're trying to keep me from making mistakes. Unfortunately, I've never been on a date or even been alone with a guy before--I've never so much as held someone's hand.

I am nowhere near ready to get married, and my parents don't see the point of dating unless I'm looking for a husband. I don't know how to convince them otherwise. I'm not looking to be a serial dater, but I do want to date this one particular guy. My parents won't even let him come over the house because they think it's "pointless unless you're going to date, which you're not."

Thoughts? Advice? I really need help here, guys.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This may sound harsh, but the fact is, you don't need your parents' approval to date. You are 19, you are an adult, just do it! Other girls have sex are 14, your parents are lucky that you are a good girl...

    You don't even have to tell them that you are dating. How are they gonna find our? And if you tell them, I suggest the following: Sit them down and say: "Mom, dad, I don't know an easy way to tell you, so I'll just say it: I'm pregnant." Your parent "Whaaaat? Are you serious?" After letting them freak out for a while, you say: "Well, I'm not actually pregnant. But now that you got an idea of what could be really bad, and what other parents have to deal with with daughters who are much younger than me, maybe you see that me simply dating is not the end of the world." ;-) Ok, I'm not really serious about this, but it certainly would put things into perspective for them...

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What Guys Said 4

  • You have two choices:
    date him any way and eventually prove that you have a life of your own and that you're capable of making decisions for yourself;
    or
    don't date him and become a loner just like your parents indirectly want.
    I say go for the first.

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  • Do you have a pastor or youth pastor who could speak on your behalf? If your parents remain unmovable on this then your only other option really is to plan to move out and live independently.

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  • young? gosh... u r an adult, don't they know?

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  • You should date without telling them :P

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What Girls Said 2

  • That's ridiculous... Seriously? Well it sounds like they're not going to change their minds... so your a big girl, if you want to date him then do it

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  • just don't tell them and date him anyway and pretend he's your friend. or lie to the and say your ready for marriage and date him but obvs don't get engaged or married or anything. they don't need to know what you do outside the house. move out and do what you want

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