Recently I've been looking into the Myers Briggs personalities. I'm an ESFJ girl (Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) and interested in an INJT guy friend of mine. I've read (and yes, these are blanket statements that don't apply to all people) that INTJs can come across as aloof, super confident, non feeling but great thinkers with a wonderful intellect. They're in their heads a lot and don't necesarilly express feeling, even though they feel it deeply. And also not that great at picking up on flirting or doing it himself.
I've been into this guy for years, but always confused about where I stood in his mind. Sometimes he'd give me all the attention in the world and then not at all at other times. He doesn't really initiate physical contact but then gives a rare hug (which I can't help but cherish). He usually hangs out with me in group settings but will also go to things with me that have to do with his interests (dancing, concerts) but I'm the one to ask... not him.
I don't want to be the one who keeps asking... but don't know how he views me asking in the first place. Does it matter to him? Maybe... If I get a text from him wanting to hang out, it's like Hell frooze over... haha
So my question is: how can I tell if there's any interest on his part as an INTJ? How can I communicate my interest to him without being SUPER obvious? Or do I need to be super obvious?
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Well first of just because my conscious won't let me I have to say the Meyers-Briggs test is rather unsound and rigid. It's research was completed far before our understanding of nueroplatsticity and I wouldn't put too much faith in it. I mean it's better than zodiac signs but still not really that useful or helpful. But bypassing that, I can still answer your question. I am an INTJ some time's INTP. All I can tell you is don't try. One thing I'm extremely good at is noticing how much someone likes me. It doesn't change one but how I feel about them. There is absolutely nothing you can do to persuade me to like you. Trust me. I've had girls try for years. My attraction doesn't come from your actions towards me but rather what I understand about your character. Physical appearance means little to nothing more than a pretty picture to me. Girl who flirts with me is off putting and undesirable. Girl who takes the time to try and feed an abandoned cat is Absolutely gourgeous. Girl who grinds on me is fun for the moment but totally forgettable. Girl who can make a sick person laugh stays with me forever. I never care about how you treat me because that isn't the real you it's the you you want me to see. But I watch the people I like secretly from a close but far away distance and that's what I judge you on. So if he's like me don't try to impress him he'll catch on and be turned away. Instead be the best person you can be relax around him and if he likes you you'll find out eventually.0