Why would boyfriend not kiss or hug me goodbye?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of only 7 months didn't kiss or hug me goodbye tonight and it made me pretty upset.

He's in the army so I don't see him too often (once a week or once every other week) but we have a pretty serious relationship, have said we love each other pretty often and always say how glad we are that we met. He's met my family and they all love him. Even his friends have said how cool I am and ask when we're getting married etc.

We were hanging in his room when I had to leave for home and he was going out with friends. His friend offered to drive me to my car, my boyfriend sat up front with his friend. When we got to my car, my boyfriend turned around and said "well see you next week!". Then before I even got in my car or opened the door, they had already left.

I got really upset because he always does and this time it felt like I was just a buddy. Maybe it was because his friend was there?

Is this illogical to be upset? I don't know why I'm so mad about it but it makes me mad and I'm not sure if I even should be. Any thoughts? Thanks! :)

[slywinkle]

Well, You may be feeling a little rejected or just a bit insecure. I can understand why you might feel this way, especially since you don't see him too often. He may have meant no harm, or he may have had other things on his mind and it may be a sign he's not as committed as you are. It's impossible to know what he's thinking unless he tells you. So, it comes down to, do you trust him? If you do, give him the benefit of the doubt and just let him know he has to make up for it next time. If you don't trust him, a goodbye hug is the least of your problems.

[Asker]

Thanks! Yeah I do trust him, he's the best boyfriend I've ever had, certain little things get to me that make me upset though. I'm never sure if it's just me over analyzing or if it's something I should worry about.

I am his first serious girlfriend and he's pretty shy and seems to not pick up on certain things (like this). He didn't seem mad at me or annoyed so I think he just didn't realize but it still made me upset.

[SparklingFirefly]

I'd be pretty bothered by it to be honest. The nice thing to do is to at least make sure your girlfriend is in her car and safe before you just take off. Were they in a rush to do something? It's possible he didn't wanna be lovey dovey in front of his friend but a hug wouldn't have killed him.

I would ask him what was up with it and tell him how it made you feel.

[Asker]

Thanks! He and his friends were going out to a bar so no they werent in a rush. I can't get extremely mad about him leaving because he wasn't driving but he could've at least told his friend to hold on a second, get out of the car and said goodbye. His friend knows we love each other and he's pretty lovey dovey other times his friends are around.

I am his first serious girlfriend so maybe he just doesn't realize? I'm not sure how to bring it up, how should I ask him? It'll be a week before I see him again. Also he and his friends keep saying "I'm so cool" and he tells me "you're so laid back and easy going". I don't want to be the uptight high maintenance girl (I have told him I can be like this sometimes though) who starts fights about little things. I just know it still makes me slightly upset and I'm not sure how to politely bring this up without starting drama.

[SparklingFirefly]

I hear ya. It's hard not wanting to be seen as clingy or demanding. So you just kinda struggle with things internally and that's never good. I've been there as a fellow "cool laid back girl". I would just bring it up casually to see what he says. Like maybe "Hey I wanted to ask, last night blah blah happened. What was up with that?" Or something even more honest like "i don't wanna make this a super big deal or anything but it bothered me a teeny bit when you left without getting out of the car to give me a hug or anything." I think it's better to just be as straight forward as possible. Not dramatic but straight forward. I think they appreciate when you can tell it like it is because they know if there's an issue you're not gonna play mind games, you're just gonna be honest.

[reptocarl]

That isn't good. Confront him about it